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My son did not come home from school MASH Referral help

157 replies

NervouslyWaiting1 · 24/05/2026 15:59

My son did not come home from school on Thursday. We had a small argument that morning because I told him to have a shower and he refused. He usually prefers to shower at night, but he ended up having the shower in the morning before leaving for school.
When he didn’t come home after school, I thought maybe he was with his friends. At 10pm that night, I called the police and reported him missing. The police went out looking for him and also went to his dad’s house to check if he was there, but he wasn’t.

The next morning, I decided to go to the school to speak with teachers and his friends to find out who he had been with the previous day. I met one of his friends outside the school, who told me my son was in school that day. I told the friend that he had not come home.
I then had a meeting with the Head of Year, and my son explained didn’t come home because he had received a detention and was scared I would take his phone away. He had spent the night walking around and sitting in a park. I was shocked and spent the whole night crying.

Because of his behaviour at school, I have rules in place. If he gets a detention or comes home late, I take his phone away, and he is also not allowed to go out with friends because of things I found on his Snapchat. I believe some of his friends are a bad influence on him. He has previously told me that he feels trapped and wants more freedom to go out with his friends.

The school has now made a referral to MASH. I understand they are doing their job and treating this as a safeguarding matter.
At the moment, we are also involved in court proceedings regarding relocation back to my home country in Europe. Everything had been going very well. We had a hearing in April with a very understanding judge. He said he understood my reasons for wanting to relocate, that he had visited my country many times, understood what life is like there for children, and that his wife is from a similar country. He also said he did not need any more evidence from me. After hearing that, I was 99.9% sure the relocation would be granted.

The judge ordered CAFCASS to prepare a safeguarding letter as part of the usual procedure. I spoke to them a few days ago and the conversation went well. CAFCASS mentioned they may recommend a Section 7 report, which is a more in-depth report involving speaking to the children, although this was not something the judge originally ordered, so she said it may not happen.

Now, I’m worried this incident with my son may trigger a Section 7 report and prolong the case. I spoke to my solicitor, who said my case had previously been straightforward and easy to predict, but that it has now become a little more complicated.

We had a long chat about everything, and he opened up to me saying he just wants things to go back to how it was before where I allowed him to go out with his friends. After speaking to him, my family and a police officer who visited us after he was found. I’ve decide to let him go out with his friends and set some rules, which he promised he would follow. I work closely with the school and have agreed with the school that I will pick him up everyday.

He’s currently out with friends as we speak. Just wondering what will happen next with MASH? And if they will treat it as one off or safeguarding concern? Anyone who’s been through this?

OP posts:
Endofyear · 24/05/2026 16:12

How old is your son? How does he feel about moving to your home country and leaving his school, his friends and his dad? It's quite a big thing to uproot a teenager and move country - could he be feeling a bit unsettled or worried?

If this is the first incident of this type, I shouldn't think it will delay your case but I think it's right that they look into it carefully as a child not wanting to go home all night could be seen as a sign that all is not well at home.

RampantIvy · 24/05/2026 16:12

Just how bad is his behaviour at school?

Potatocakewalk · 24/05/2026 16:11

Christ, he is 13 and you weren’t hysterical when he wasn’t home by 10pm!!!! I would have been searching on the streets for him and called the police when he was late by 30 mins! In what world is it normal for a 13 year old to be in an unknown location at 10pm? Safeguarding is absolutely right to be involved.

rubyslippers · 24/05/2026 16:10

What have you found on his Snapchat?

i’d bet money he doesn’t want to leave where you are currently and he’s scared to tell you

rubyslippers · 24/05/2026 16:09

Something isn’t right
you don’t mention his age
he didn’t come home from school and you didn’t do anything except call the police at 10 pm and you turned up at school the next day
I’d be bloody frantic and searching the streets myself

NervouslyWaiting1 · 24/05/2026 16:07

TheSpottedZebra · 24/05/2026 16:06

Why have you missed out his age?

He’s 13

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 24/05/2026 16:06

Why have you missed out his age?