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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think sex and gender need different terms if distinct?

133 replies

sabreslot · 24/05/2026 15:31

We have been told that sex and gender are not the same thing. So, as the words woman and man describe someone's sex, why are we using the same words to describe someone’s gender identity.

For example, if a man (sex) has a gender identity that is ‘woman’ they are effectively using a word that describes the opposite sex, which they are not.

Surely, if we had a different word to describe people’s genders and indeed if there was a clear definition, as there are with the words that describe sex, many of the arguments around this subject would be put to bed.

With this in mind, could someone please explain to me what gender is if sex and gender are different things.

AIBU - If sex and gender are separate things then we should not use the same words to describe both.

OP posts:
JSMill · 24/05/2026 21:58

Sex and gender are two different things. Sex is biological. Gender is a social construct. I am speaking as a person who did gender studies as part of her degree. I don’t know what is so complicated for people to understand.

Pigeonpoodle · 24/05/2026 21:55

yetanotherusernameAgain · 24/05/2026 16:04

I think it's the words "male" and "female" that are more confusing. They can apply to both sex and gender. "Man" and "woman" refers to sex.

It’s the other way round. You don’t hear of trans-females, but you do hear of trans-women.

Screamingabdabz · 24/05/2026 21:50

As far as I’m concerned sex and gender mean the same thing.

You could possibly use masculine or feminine if you are talking about clothes, make up and presentation and shit. But the minute we start differentiating sex and some spurious ‘identity’ based bullshit we are back in the tall weeds that have caused, and are still causing, women such so much harm.

IDontHateRainbows · 24/05/2026 21:35

sabreslot · 24/05/2026 15:31

We have been told that sex and gender are not the same thing. So, as the words woman and man describe someone's sex, why are we using the same words to describe someone’s gender identity.

For example, if a man (sex) has a gender identity that is ‘woman’ they are effectively using a word that describes the opposite sex, which they are not.

Surely, if we had a different word to describe people’s genders and indeed if there was a clear definition, as there are with the words that describe sex, many of the arguments around this subject would be put to bed.

With this in mind, could someone please explain to me what gender is if sex and gender are different things.

AIBU - If sex and gender are separate things then we should not use the same words to describe both.

We already have the words you are looking for- feminine and masculine- but no one wants to use them.

PollyBell · 24/05/2026 21:31

First define what a man and a woman is not speaking of their biology

Robocopper · 24/05/2026 20:29

InfoSecInTheCity · 24/05/2026 15:49

Why bother, those words would be co-opted within 1 minutes. We were quite clear on what woman meant, then men started using it to describe themselves. When they were called out on this they decided that ‘woman ‘ is attached to gender not sex so they are right to use it, so we started using ‘female’ more often to be abundantly clear that we meant ‘sex’ as in XX/larger gamete/ uterus etc and now all the men are claiming to be female, so we started tagging it ‘biological female’ and now they’re claiming that they are biological female because they’ve forced their bodies to develop some of the secondary sex characteristics associated with being female and they’re biological entities therefore biologically female. We could ascribe the word ‘exabites’ or ‘schwatsamacallits’ to mean ‘an adult human being who developed along the pathway designed to create large gametes’ and all of a sudden they would all be calling themselves ‘exabites’ or ‘schwatsamacallits’ and coming up with some ridiculous word-salad to explain why they are real ‘exabites’ or ‘schwatsamacallits’.

So no. No. No. No.

I am a woman, a woman is an adult human female, female is a sex class defined as someone who developed along the pathway designed to create large gametes. No more re-naming stuff to try to accommodate the fantasists.

Spot on.

plantcomplex · 24/05/2026 20:09

sabreslot · 24/05/2026 17:07

This is what I am trying to explain badly.

We shouldn’t be using trans identifying man or trans identifying woman because they are not identifying as a sex, because, well you can’t.

You can only impersonated a stereotype of a sex surely?

There should be another word like man that 'believes he is something he isn’t'

Show quote history

There should be another word like man that 'believes he is something he isn’t'

English already has a word for that: "deluded". However, despite its accuracy, activists claim it is impolite in this context.

Anyway the reason you are struggling to explain this is because it's all a load of illogical nonsense. Gender was only ever a polite synonym for sex. And then a cult was born on social media which originally claimed humans could change sex (gender) and when challenged on the impossibility of that then started to claim that of course humans cannot change sex but gender is some nebulous separate indefinable concept totally unrelated to sex. Even though they want their supposed gender identity to give them access to spaces based on sex.

You can't argue rationally with people who are being irrational. It's a waste of time.

We don't need new words, we just need to re-establish reality and put "Identifying as..." in the bin.

WallaceinAnderland · 24/05/2026 18:07

sabreslot · 24/05/2026 17:32

I see, you are referring to the man, sorry I thought you were referring the woman as in how people say trans woman but mean a man.

Show quote history

No, trans identifying man is literally a biological male who identifies as trans.

As you have pointed out, they have obfuscated facts by applying opposite sex words and this is deliberate so no wonder you were confused.

We are slowly taking back our language now. We are even allowed to call a man a man in court which not so long ago was considered contempt of court. They had to re-write the bench book for judges to make it clear that sex means biological sex.

Nogimachi · 24/05/2026 17:48

I do not care, while wishing Grayson Perry all possible good in the world.

We have huge issues to spend our brainpower on currently, and what gender someone identifies as is entirely up to them, as long as they adhere to the law on biological sex.

Original poster
sabreslot · 24/05/2026 17:32

WallaceinAnderland · 24/05/2026 17:29

So trans identifying man is fine.

I see, you are referring to the man, sorry I thought you were referring the woman as in how people say trans woman but mean a man.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 24/05/2026 17:29

So trans identifying man is fine.

Original poster
sabreslot · 24/05/2026 17:25

WallaceinAnderland · 24/05/2026 17:13

We shouldn’t be using trans identifying man or trans identifying woman because they are not identifying as a sex, because, well you can’t.

No, a trans identifying man is a biological male (true, that's his sex) who identifies as transgender (true, that's his gender). You don't need to use the sex based word woman at all for him because he's a man.

Exactly.

I probably didn’t explain myself.

Woman = definition of the sex of an adult human female.

So, it should never be used in connection with a man, ever. If a man wants to dress in a way that is not normally associated with men, that person is still a type of man. They can't ever be a woman because that word is a definition of one's sex not a feeling.

Terms should be clear.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 24/05/2026 17:13

We shouldn’t be using trans identifying man or trans identifying woman because they are not identifying as a sex, because, well you can’t.

No, a trans identifying man is a biological male (true, that's his sex) who identifies as transgender (true, that's his gender). You don't need to use the sex based word woman at all for him because he's a man.

Original poster
sabreslot · 24/05/2026 17:07

viques · 24/05/2026 16:46

Or better still

Trans identifying Man (TIM)

Trans Identifying Woman (TIW)

which helps to sort out the confusion that some people seem to have in remembering that a transwoman is a man and a transman is a woman.

Edited
Show quote history

This is what I am trying to explain badly.

We shouldn’t be using trans identifying man or trans identifying woman because they are not identifying as a sex, because, well you can’t.

You can only impersonated a stereotype of a sex surely?

There should be another word like man that 'believes he is something he isn’t'

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 24/05/2026 16:51

sabreslot · 24/05/2026 15:35

But we use the same words, man and woman to describe gender when those words are taken and they refer to sex.

Show quote history

Those words were forced on us. We had no choice, the word woman was just appropriated.

Lahsania · 24/05/2026 16:50

Yes, and then change the ego assertion of “ identifying” to the more psychologically accurate word ‘ delusion’.

viques · 24/05/2026 16:46

Tabarnak · 24/05/2026 16:00

We have these words.

Man
Woman
TransMan
TransWoman.

’Trans’ meaning being one sex but identifying as aka adopting a gender recognised or presumed to be the other.

Or better still

Trans identifying Man (TIM)

Trans Identifying Woman (TIW)

which helps to sort out the confusion that some people seem to have in remembering that a transwoman is a man and a transman is a woman.

Original poster
sabreslot · 24/05/2026 16:28

You have a good point except personality has a clear definition

perhaps gender could be replaced with ‘impersonating’?

OP posts:
Lahsania · 24/05/2026 16:26

There’s women, and there’s men.
All the rest is people creating narratives to soothe themselves about their lack of happiness.

Original poster
sabreslot · 24/05/2026 16:19

Talkinpeace · 24/05/2026 15:57

Sex is real

Gender is a religion

I agree

i actually don’t understand what gender is

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 24/05/2026 16:05

Gender identity is absolutely insanity
there is no such thing as gendered souls
there is male and female
woman and man
thats it
gender woo is how we have ended up in the dystopian mess we’re currently in

yetanotherusernameAgain · 24/05/2026 16:04

I think it's the words "male" and "female" that are more confusing. They can apply to both sex and gender. "Man" and "woman" refers to sex.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 24/05/2026 16:03

Man and woman are not gender identities. I guess trans is a gender identity- or at least a pointer to gender confusion?

man woman male female are all sex based terms.

Effeminate, feminine, masculine, butch, femme… those are probably gender words.

parietal · 24/05/2026 16:03

So what word would you propose for “people who adhere to woman-gender” and for “people who adhere to man-gender”. And how the hell do we get people to use them?

Tabarnak · 24/05/2026 16:00

We have these words.

Man
Woman
TransMan
TransWoman.

’Trans’ meaning being one sex but identifying as aka adopting a gender recognised or presumed to be the other.