AIBU to tell my son he made his sister feel unsafe and uncomfortable?

Agree it might well be a habit that could develop into dependence and lead to problems the longer it continues. I think we’re on the same side here - I’m not condoning the use of cocaine, even recreationally. It’s a dangerous substance and illegal for good reason, and I have to agree with a previous poster who pointed out the classist attitudes around recreational use by professionals. My only point is that it’s important to understand words like ‘addict’ and ‘dependent’ before applying them because they aren’t always appropriate and tend to muddy the waters. So many posters on threads dealing with alcohol and other substance abuse use words like alcoholic and addict without having the first clue as to what they actually mean.

Also, I’m not sure OP’s son can walk away from it. It seems like he’s using it at weekends. That suggests a habit.

That has absolutely nothing to do with addiction. It’s completely irrelevant.

The OP came here for advice and not only has the thread been derailed beyond belief, but it’s decended into abject nonsense.

The point I was making in my post above was about how harmful cocaine is. A tiny amount of cocaine could kill you. In comparison, you’d have to drink a lot of alcohol - or an extremely strong alcohol - for it to kill gou.

The point I was making in my post above was about how harmful cocaine is. A tiny amount of cocaine could kill you. In comparison, you’d have to drink a lot of alcohol - or an extremely strong alcohol - for it to kill gou.

And that still doesn't make you an addict if you can walk away from it and not make your next fix the priority over everything else in your life.

I quoted the NHS definition of addiction upthread. The full version, explaining what addiction is, how it differs from dependence and how substance misuse doesn’t necessarily lead to addiction.

This is what you said One way of describing addiction is taking/using something to the point where it could be harmful to you. Alcohol is not necessarily harmful each time you take it, but cocaine absolutely is. On that basis, OP’s son is a cocaine addict.

Which is not the same as *not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you. You overlooked the part about control, which is the key. The harm here is not that you take something, but that you have no control over the desire to take it - to the exclusion of all else. Where has OP indicated that this is the case ?

Absolutely. It can also kill you each time you take it.

Absolutely. It can also kill you each time you take it.

Last time I looked it was a Class A drug - it doesn’t diminish in potency or dangerousness with occasional use. Someone like the OP’s DS being a functional user is not the same in practice as someone fully addicted, I agree, but how functional are they really if their idea of a good time is ingesting a Class A drug at weekends. What’s missing in their life? Why would anyone in their right mind want to go near that stuff?! I’m concerned that we’re minimising use by comparing it to addiction, when in reality I think we ought to be fighting against it more than we are. Nobody needs to put something like that in their body.

This is the NHS description below. Which bit did I reword, please?

Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/addiction-support/addiction-what-is-it/

You say that cocaine is harmful each time you take it

Cocaine is harmful each time you take it because it means you are a selfish idiot who is happy to condone trafficking, modern day slavery, child exploitation, money laundering and funding terrorism.

This is the NHS description below. Which bit did I reword, please?

Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/addiction-support/addiction-what-is-it/

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5190609-angry-with-son-for-abandoning-daughter-on-night-out?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

This one?

This thread is identical to one I read a year ago. Is this the first time your druggie son has done this in front of your dd? If not you need to put a firm foot down with him and also teach her how to get a taxi home when she’s unhappy on a night out.

OP is.

Who is normalising substance use ? No-one as far as I can see is condoning it - simply trying to point out that ‘use’ is not the same as addiction.

My husband and DS do not get on at all, DS has him blocked on his phone.
2 years ago there was a fairly big family fight where harsh words were said on both sides.
They will see each other and be polite for family meals, events etc. but generally DS can’t stand DH and DH can’t stand DS.

It’s also nothing like the NHS description - it’s this posters own version of it, reworded to suit the narrative. And it’s nonsense.

Last time I looked it was a Class A drug - it doesn’t diminish in potency or dangerousness with occasional use. Someone like the OP’s DS being a functional user is not the same in practice as someone fully addicted, I agree, but how functional are they really if their idea of a good time is ingesting a Class A drug at weekends. What’s missing in their life? Why would anyone in their right mind want to go near that stuff?! I’m concerned that we’re minimising use by comparing it to addiction, when in reality I think we ought to be fighting against it more than we are. Nobody needs to put something like that in their body.

Who is normalising substance use ? No-one as far as I can see is condoning it - simply trying to point out that ‘use’ is not the same as addiction.

Yes and the middle class get a pass on this.
Meanwhile the exploited teenagers doing the county lines end up getting stabbed in the park.

You got to love the substance use and misogyny normalising on this thread.