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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I might know more than my medical team?

28 replies

Fluffybuns88 · 24/05/2026 12:04

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant after 8 losses and years of secondary infertility. I have some complex medical issues such as an unspecified auto immune disorder.

From the very start of this pregnancy I've had to fight to get listened to by medical professionals, had to ask several times for asprin and progesterone which was recommended by a consultant years ago, the hospital have lost all of my medical history, the midwife reffered me to the mental health team behind my back at booking and told me 6 of my losses didn't count due to them being before 8 weeks.

I've spent months trying to see a consultant because they are pushing hard for a vbac but refuse to tell me why this would be the best option for me as an individual and kept getting told they could refer me tonthe mental health team because there's no record of my medical diagnosises.

I have insulin driven PCOS and had to advocate for a second GD test as they originally tested at 16 weeks, started metformin for borderline sugars (nothing crazy) upped them after 4 days, tried to put me one insulin 2 days later, not enough time for it to work and weren't following guidelines because they thought I'd been on it longer (metformin is now controlling sugars).

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago they offered heparin and I had what I believe is an immune reaction, flared my inflammatory conditions, significant bruising, bleeding gums, petechiae all over and I felt like I'd been hit by a train. I also has reduced fetal movement and accelerated fetal heart rate, I stopped them against advice until I'd spoken to someone more knowledgeable, this was the right decision according to the relayed message from the consultant who can't see me for 2 weeks so any tests they do will likely show normal.

At no point has anyone taken me seriously when I've told them that it might be worth considering my individual health conditions before railroading me into standard treatment which I've accepted everytime, each visit I'm being fobbed off that I'm mentally unwell (I'm not, but I do have several physical conditions) luckily I've seen a member of the medical team that has removed the mental health flag off my notes as she believed it was impacting my care.)

I'm super frustrated and just want someone in my team to listen to my concerns properly and make decisions based on me as an individual and not a guideline.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Flinderskleepers · 24/05/2026 13:42

Fluffybuns88 · 24/05/2026 13:30

If you're a doctor and ignored, I've got no freaking hope 🤣

Do try though. Really advocate for yourself. I was not in a good place during pregnancy (at least whilst I was feeling so nauseous) and so didn't question things at the time. I bitterly regret that and wish I had put in a formal complaint when I had the chance.

Fluffybuns88 · 24/05/2026 13:30

Flinderskleepers · 24/05/2026 13:02

As a pregnant woman, you will never receive healthcare like you are your own person with agency. Everyone thinks you will be incapable of making a sensible decision and that anything you choose to do is harmful to the baby. I wanted ondansetron for morning sickness and was told I couldn't have it as it was bad the developing foetus. I'm a doctor and can make my own fucking decisions.

If you're a doctor and ignored, I've got no freaking hope 🤣

OP posts:
Flinderskleepers · 24/05/2026 13:02

As a pregnant woman, you will never receive healthcare like you are your own person with agency. Everyone thinks you will be incapable of making a sensible decision and that anything you choose to do is harmful to the baby. I wanted ondansetron for morning sickness and was told I couldn't have it as it was bad the developing foetus. I'm a doctor and can make my own fucking decisions.