AIBU to think parents drinking heavily on a kids rugby tour is inappropriate?

I’ll adjust this from my point of view …

What would scar me would be working Monday to Friday, then having to go on a kids rugby tour to support my child and watch them do something they love while the other parents thought it was a great opportunity to get fall down drunk, act like imbeciles and berate me for not drinking in front of my child and the other children and parents. You sound like a great parent.

It's pitiful that some people think that the only way to have fun is to get absolutely slaughtered while they're away with their kids.

OP my son is a rugby player (now at uni) and I’m appalled at what you describe. I like a drink and I’ve seen (mainly) dads have a few pints…. But what you describe is on a different level. My mum had a drink problem and I remember being mortified when she was drunk. Agree it’s a terrible example for children of 11.

That's truly dreadful. Is there nothing that can be done about it? Anyone you can complain to and get the drinking stopped on these tours? 1-2 pints at the end of the day is one thing. But this kind of excess around minors is appalling. I mean drinking games? The kids are only 11/12 for god's sake. They shouldn't be seeing adults behaving like this.

Agreed OP it's totally inappropriate. Our older son's age group was a nice bunch of parents, who would have a few drinks, but I never saw anyone wasted. Our younger son's age group though - quite the opposite. We've never gone on tour with them. One woman would turn up every Sunday morning hungover and have stories about what she'd been up to the night before. They were just rough - all of them.

Grim. Yeah have a few drinks but being fall down drunk at a kids rugby tournament is grim.

I’m sure the kids will have great memories of doing nothing because their parents were too drunk or hung over and watching their parents act like idiots. A little self control wouldnt go amiss. YANBU.

Zero beer is your friend here. I always drink it and no one would know... not that I'd care what they had to say

Oh just read the shots thing. That's moronic.

This is exactly why we aren’t going to my son’s football team’s trip later this year. Well among other reasons but mostly it just sounded like a massive piss up.

I love Ann😂

I'm a bit torn on this. We used to have quite 'merry' times when my kids were younger (can't do it now) and they loved a bit of feral freedom. I also wouldn't get so drunk I couldn't function.

I played rugby at university - what you describe was pretty standard in that environment…but agree not appropriate when the players are kids and frankly I couldn’t hack a kangaroo court in my 40s 😫

I’m quite surprised - I find increasingly there is less and less drinking amongst my similar aged peers and I can’t think of any friends and colleagues that would want to do drinking games / drink enough to be throwing up the next day. A lot of my friends seem to suffer with drinking so much in perimenopause that they’ve stopped bothering.

Is it a mix of men & women, or more Dads?

One if the dads shit himself in the bar on ours as he was so drunk. No way would I feel comfortable with my boys going on it. To be honest I was relived when they both decided rugby wasn’t for them.

What you've described is absolutely disgusting. I wouldn't want to be around that let alone have my kid experience it. What the hell is wrong with people?

Yes I experienced stupid drunk parents getting drunk at a primary school prom. I organised it and couldn’t get them to leave when the party was over! One called me a C* for suggesting they take their children home as it was 10pm, they were drunk and their kids were hiding outside crying. I was especially surprised to find out one of the mums is a social worker for children’s services! I would never organise anything again involving parents as many think getting drunk while in charge of their children normal. Very selfish behaviour as they don’t care about their children.

I was going to say exactly this.

Sounds awful.

It’s sad, but these kids will remember it. They’ll either grow up to be exactly the same, getting wasted all the time to tolerate being around their kids. Or they’ll grow up knowing their parents weren’t fully present for them. I don’t drink anymore. My kids absolutely comment on how drunk their friends’ parents are at everything we go to.

My 13 year old was just saying the other day how depressed her friend is because all her mum wants to do is party and is too hungover to do anything with her. Incidentally, her dad is a retired professional rugby player 😂 and he’s actually incredibly sensible (they are divorced). I’ve never seen him have more than a drink or two when he has his kids with him. But the kids are really missing their mum who spends her weekends partying and sleeping.

I hear you, OP, I’d hate this and I’d not be going again. Perhaps a different sport with a different culture. I’m taking my eldest away to a gymnastics competition next weekend. I don’t have any trouble doing 2 nights away with my dc and long competition days without a drink. We’re going to the spa one evening and out to dinner and shopping. And she knows I’m present and can drive her places and handle any emergencies, like a trip to A&E from an injury because I’m not shitfaced.

I worked in a holiday park that hosted kids football and rugby tournaments going on local area
Honestly it was a nightmare, the kids basically ran feral doing what they liked as most of the parents were getting shit faced in the bar in the evening.
Im all for having a drink but you still need to parent.

I completely agree with you, OP. It’s absolutely grim for kids to see their parents so out of it. Having a few drinks with food is one thing; being so pissed that you can’t be in any way responsible is another. It’s a horrible example to set and shows a total lack of care for your children. If the adults find the tour so insufferably boring that they can’t get through it without constant piss ups, they shouldn’t bother going. It’s selfish. And if they want a weekend of binge drinking and hangovers, then arrange one that doesn’t involve kids. There is so much utterly shit parenting around that it’s depressing, even if it isn’t new.

Normalising having fun? How dare they!

I’m sure I read this exact same post a few months ago.