AIBU to think parents drinking heavily on a kids rugby tour is inappropriate?

This is a safeguarding issue. I think I would report it to whoever is in charge. This isn’t something I’d want my child near.

But, not all children that age are like that. The behaviour your describing is vile, disrespective and nasty. There was an incident with an older boy at my daughters swim club that I reported after she told me about it....and then a load of other parents also reported incidents with him until he was thrown out. But it would be disingenuous to say all boys are like this and nothing like it ever happened to her again in any form of sport.
My 15yr old came home with friends last night to hangout in our garden. He made them put money in a kitty to get pizza because he didn't expect me to cook or pay for them, they cleared up and were really polite kids.

As a veteran of many children’s rugby tours , your experience certainly resonates! I do like a few drinks but yes some parents would get absolutely plastered.
im not against parents having a bit of fun at the end of the season, taking kids training a few times a weeks and to games every weekend in all weather, it was a nice way to end the season.
i used to dread tour every year, especially the fancy dress but the kids loved it and so we made the most of it.

@aCatCalledFawkes the rugby tournament is today. It seems that yesterday was a beach barbecue (at which the parents got drunk) followed by drinking games (at which the parents got completely wasted, in front of the kids). Some kids weren’t allowed to go to bed because their parents were too drunk to find the caravan. Today is the actual rugby tournament, and some of the kids are too tired to play, due to being kept up late by drunk parents. And some of the parents are too hungover to watch.

This is very much not a case of having a couple of glasses of wine to pass the time during a boring sports event. This is basically a parents drinking session that the kids have been dragged along to.

Fine to have a couple in the evening. Absolutely unacceptable and borderline cringey to use it as an excuse for a total piss up and get into a state where you can’t even locate your child. That’s dangerous.

Suprised by some of the comments given how much MN looks down on alcohol and particularly anyone who drinks around their kids.

My worst nightmare. Never went on one with my son. My disabled son had lots of tours/tournaments and none of the parents drank…

@Owly11 you may not know this, but unfortunately it’s often the way that when there are shit parents around, the decent parents end up doing their job. It’s a choice between either stepping in, or watching kids be neglected. Some of us find it hard to watch kids being mistreated.

Did you miss the bit where a child came to the OPs caravan door, upset and asking for help because their mother was hammered and unable to get them to bed?

OP, has the drunk mother spoken to you since? Do not be afraid to tell her exactly how you were there for her children when she was so drunk she couldnt be. .

Well the op said all through the day and into the evening. The number of posters who think it’s totally fine to get wasted in front of your dc is pretty shocking. And no I don’t need to lighten up - I’m able to have a fab time without getting wasted.

That is a very interesting interpretation ????

OP, aIm sorry if this means your DS will
lose out on a favourite sport, but I wouldn’t spend another hour with drunken morons like that. DH and so line a drink but I can’t stand seeing drunken behaviour around kids.

I was once in a train journey from hell - well, the first part of it anyway, thank God they got off after 40 minutes. The group dynamics were fascinating - one couple were clearly disgusted by their friends’/relatives’ behaviour. As was the rest of the carriage who had to sit through the drunken reminiscing and the swearing on an afternoon journey.

It's this sort of thinking which gets kids and kids sports clubs into trouble. There is an awful case currently before the courts in Canada where boys (13 - 14 yrs old) in an ice hockey team have been charged with sexual assault of team mates (also boys) in a so-called "hazing" incidents. The victims required surgery. There were multiple incidents and they occurred in changing rooms and in hotel rooms during tournaments. Kids that age can be brutal, and there was no adult supervision. Where were the parents and coaches? Very probably getting pissed somewhere.
My family personally experienced the gang mentality of kids sports teams last winter. Staying at a hotel, we went down to the pool with our kids, aged 12 and 9. Kids in the pool, us sitting at the side. A couple of other families there. A group of about ten boys aged around 11 came in, part of a hockey team, no adults with them. They completely took over the pool, acting like nobody else was there, pushing in front of other kids for the slide etc. One of them said something filthy to my 9 year old daughter. We tore a strip off him for that and complained to hotel management.

Anyway, my point is that besides that the parents getting so hammered they're unable to function is really not setting a good example for the kids, leaving tween/teen kids to fend for themselves is asking for trouble.

Thank goodness those poor children have you there OP to look after them and care for them. And be a good appropriate role model. You simply must go next year…who knows what might happen if you’re not there @phoenix72

That is absolutely appalling.

Are the parents doing that at the rugby matches or is it the evenings?

The weekend is not going as you would like it. You would like the other parents to supervise kids' activities but they don't want to so you are resenting having to do it all yourself. Either supervise the activities yourself because that's what you want or don't because no one else is. But drop the resentment and the moral high ground.

But nobody is sitting at the side of their dc swim competition getting wasted 🤷🏻‍♀️

With the greatest respect, if your doing something like a swim competition you're sat on the other side of the pool and there with their friends so hardly with you.
I also didn't say I wouldn't do it, just that it does consume your weekend and there is an element of waiting around. I have two kids and I have done far more than the odd weekend, I've Jiu Jitsu competitions, swimming competitions (as well 5.30 am training), rugby matches, rugby tournaments, ballet shows and exams plus spent weekends driving DD to horse riding residentials. I have done endless amount of sport with my children at the weekend.
And I have never got drunk at any of these events, I just admit that it can be a boring sometimes.

Sounds awful.

Wouldn't be allowed in the sport my daughter is in. Parents represent the club and there are firm rules about alcohol consumption at sporting events, especially when they're wearing club logos, etc

It's supposed to be about supporting the children, not embarrassing the shit out of them and making this think is normal or acceptable behaviour.

I think there’s already been at least a couple or more posters on here saying they have the same type of rugby weekends as op’s, so as far as the laws of averages goes I’d imagine there’s likely a lot more than just 3 rugby type tours for kids going on this weekend (and not all of the parents in all of them will be pissed off their heads so could be many “sober” parents anywhere writing this) so I don’t expect she’s at much risk of being outed. Anyway, sounds like most of the parents are either too drunk or hungover to be spending any time on mn this weekend, so unlikely to see this 😂
By the time Tuesday comes and they sober up, and with the slim probability that any of them do venture on here I’d imagine this post will likely have dropped out of active by then anyway. Thats even if op particularly cares if anyone sees it! I mean I do agree it’s relatively specific but it’s not going to be outing specific at all.
Then again I could be totally wrong and suddenly another parent will pop up, recognise the op and fighting will ensure! 🙃

@stillhiding1990 11 year olds need a fair amount of looking after. 11 is young. Do you think 11 year olds are independent? If you read OP’s posts, you’ll see that even younger kids were involved. They couldn’t get into their caravan to go to bed, because their mother wouldn’t give them the key. She was wasted and wanted to go back to the bar. And you think that’s OK? I’m surprised, but I suppose people have different standards of acceptable parenting. In my book, that’s shit parenting.

If I’m completely honest, I clicked into this thread thinking oh bore off, there is nothing wrong with adults having a few drinks and a group of 11 year old team mates having some freedom sans adults for an evening but having now read all of your points on this I am in full agreement with you OP that this sounds awful and is completely unacceptable and horrendous behaviour from the other adults. Hopefully you can leave soon and then never again.

@aCatCalledFawkes how did you manage the boredom? Did you read a book? Look at your phone? Chat to other parents? Or did you have to drink so much you couldn’t look after your child and couldn’t find your way home?

How much looking after do 11 years old need? It’s not as if she is doing bath time and story time.

When XH went to Spain with DS's football team a few years ago, he and another dad abandoned their 14 year old sons in the hotel while they went to a strip club.
Classy responsible man my XH ... so relieved that he's not in my life anymore.

@stillhiding1990 it’s hard to chill when you end up being the default parent to all the kids whose actual parents are too wasted to look after them.