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AIBU?

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AIBU to think parents drinking heavily on a kids rugby tour is inappropriate?

218 replies

phoenix72 · 24/05/2026 10:34

I am currently on my DS's (11) weekend long rugby tour. It's the third day and I am thoroughly pissed off with alcohol being the focus rather than the kids or the rugby. The evening activities have been focused around drinking games (yesterday this was after a beach barbecue where the majority of parents were drinking) and the worst was the 'kangaroo court' last night where any perceived 'silly behaviour' or slight 'infraction' over the past rugby season by a parent resulted in taking a shot or downing a drink. Parents were penalised for their own actions and for their kids. By about 7pm most adults were so drunk they couldn't find their caravans, let alone their kids.

Most parents have been too hung over to spend time with the kids in the day or do any kid-friendly activities. In the afternoons and evenings they have been too drunk to look after their kids. This is not a one off - my DS has been to tour with three different rugby clubs and each one has been the same when it comes to tour.

AIBU to think this behaviour is highly inappropriate and irresponsible, and that it teaches the kids that getting completely wasted several nights in a row is acceptable?

OP posts:
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HotBothered · 23/06/2026 00:08

Totally agree op

it’s actually so embarrassing and dated they way the rugby people behave

Thechateau · 26/05/2026 15:39

Tbh I feel like any benefits your son gets from being involved in this team sound like they are likely to be undermined by being in an environment with adults who are such dicks.

Jamesblonde2 · 26/05/2026 14:15

Yeah that’s not a good influence OP.

tiptoethrutulips · 26/05/2026 14:09

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 17:15

One of the coaches started the taunting when I refused the shots. Immediately joined by the other coach and team manager.

I'm speechless. That's just shocking and so, so, so wrong.

Noexpiry · 26/05/2026 11:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ForgetBergamo · 25/05/2026 21:13

I agree with you OP. The alcohol culture is so ingrained here, esp with sports like this, that people genuinely can’t see it. And they think that people like you are ‘uptight’. They are wrong, and are bringing up a generation with the same unhealthy mentality, where they cannot enjoy themselves without getting blind drunk.

Liznug · 25/05/2026 21:06

Pretty soon he’ll be of an age when parents don’t need to attend.

mine didn’t even at 11!

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 21:06

Liznug · 25/05/2026 20:40

Can his dad take him in future?

No, I'm a single parent.

OP posts:
Liznug · 25/05/2026 20:40

Can his dad take him in future?

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 20:37

Liznug · 25/05/2026 17:55

This isn’t the club for you!

So will you be going for a 4th club?

I think tour isn't for me. The club have been fantastic other than this. My son loves the team so I can't leave, and this is the third team with the same tour mentality, so at this point I have to concede that it's sadly commonplace. I am disgusted with the behaviour, and think the parents and coaches should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves, but there's been a lot of messages on the team chat about how they've pulled off "another awesome" tour, so there doesn't seem to be a shred of shame there.

I am completely baffled at how this weekend can be called successful in any way, other than they had another year where they could get absolutely shitfaced and palm their kids off to another parent. I will be complaining at the highest level I can, but I can't see it getting anywhere as the culture seems to be engrained.

I am exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically, and have to go back to work tomorrow after a hellish weekend. So, for all of you that told me to "lighten up, it's just a bit of fun" - you are a huge part of the problem. Selfish, arrogant, and completely unaware of the hell you put other people through so you can have some "light relief" at the cost of the real parents who had to pick up your slack for a whole weekend, and the staff at the site who have to tolerate witnessing your behaviour, cleaning up after you and keeping an eye on your kids while you're too busy getting hammered.

But yes, clearly I'm just too "uptight".

Idiots.

OP posts:
Liznug · 25/05/2026 17:55

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 17:15

One of the coaches started the taunting when I refused the shots. Immediately joined by the other coach and team manager.

This isn’t the club for you!

So will you be going for a 4th club?

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 17:15

Liznug · 25/05/2026 14:42

how were the coaches?

One of the coaches started the taunting when I refused the shots. Immediately joined by the other coach and team manager.

OP posts:
Liznug · 25/05/2026 14:42

how were the coaches?

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 12:28

Hassell · 25/05/2026 10:20

Did they win the tournament??

They came third out of 12, so not too bad at all thanks. The one saving grace of the weekend.

OP posts:
Hassell · 25/05/2026 10:20

Did they win the tournament??

Hassell · 25/05/2026 10:20

You back now?

TheGreatDownandOut · 25/05/2026 10:07

I am really surprised at the number of people disagreeing with the OP on this. It sounds fucking horrendous, even if there weren’t kids there with them. Being bullied in to taking shots?! Seriously?? Sounds like my worst nightmare. I don’t mind a drink, I don’t mind getting a bit tipsy but this is a whole other level of bad behaviour!

Ventress · 25/05/2026 09:55

Ours were like this too. I didn’t tend to go , it was more “lads and dads” but the alcohol was insane.

I remember just seeing the coach on the way down to Bristol one year which was full of boxes of beer! I shuddered. DS (18yo) survived (but doesn’t drink!).

hopspot · 25/05/2026 09:53

Moanella · 24/05/2026 10:49

I’m surprised the parents go along too,
to be honest. My kids’ rugby club has the coaches/admins supervising them - they go to a PGL or similar outdoor activity place for Friday afternoon and Saturday, then to a rugby club that’s holding a festival on the Sunday, where the majority of the parents will join them to support. Some of the parents choose to make a weekend of it and stay nearby beforehand, but don’t involve the children in their antics!

I agree with you OP. It all sounds rather crap for the kids.

My dc do rugby too and this is my experience too. Parents don’t go.

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 09:53

Besidemyselfwithworry · 24/05/2026 23:12

I was wondering this!

I personally wouldn’t have my kids anywhere near all this revolting behaviour!!!

you say this is the 3rd club/tour??? Why are you putting your child and yourself thru this??

My son was so excited to go away with his teammates to play the sport he is passionate about. I was hoping this team would be different to the others, but clearly it's worse.

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LilyCanna · 25/05/2026 09:52

I’ve seen multiple MN threads where people say that one parent must remain sober at all times and you can’t have a drink together ever in case kids need driving to hospital.

Now this thread where (according to some) apparently a weekend is boring if you can’t get falling down drunk and sod looking after your kids because 11 year olds (and younger siblings) should be independent.

In my world most parents are perfectly capable of having 2 or 3 drinks at an evening bank holiday barbecue, having a nice time while ensuring their kids are ok, and not aiming to get as drunk as possible or act like a twat. It’s not that difficult.

phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 09:52

Anon501178 · 24/05/2026 23:09

TOTALLY inappropriate! Adults should not be drunk in charge of kids.Who is organising this thing?! Are there not professional coaches involved or is it just an informal club run by the parents or something?

This is being run by the club. The coaches and manager have organised the tour and all the 'fun activities' .

OP posts:
phoenix72 · 25/05/2026 09:50

powersthatbe · 24/05/2026 13:24

Did you miss the bit where a child came to the OPs caravan door, upset and asking for help because their mother was hammered and unable to get them to bed?

OP, has the drunk mother spoken to you since? Do not be afraid to tell her exactly how you were there for her children when she was so drunk she couldnt be. .

No, she's not spoken to me. In fact, she seems to be avoiding me, which isn't surprising. I'll speak to her quietly after tour.

OP posts:
Hassell · 25/05/2026 09:20

BerryTwister · 25/05/2026 09:12

@Hassell shit parenting is shit parenting, and no amount of squealing at the sideline would compensate.

Yep, crap if consistent. One off…. Pretty pants but hopefully vommed and then got stuck in

BerryTwister · 25/05/2026 09:12

Hassell · 24/05/2026 20:09

Oh it’s not great that for sure
but not something I’d get too exercised about if a short while later he was sideline and rooting on the team

Edited

@Hassell shit parenting is shit parenting, and no amount of squealing at the sideline would compensate.