Is it unreasonable to be frustrated by a guest who says they eat anything when they actually don’t?

I could do steak and chips in the heat to be fair.

This whole thread is based around the OP tried to find out what foods she likes and doesn’t like, the woman said she’d eat anything and now the OP is finding the hard way that the MIL doesn’t like lots of foods!

If you have a restricted diet, you do need to tell people. But annoyingly lots of people are like this, they just expect you to know. I think it’s because either a) they are surrounded by people who are used to their faddy eating, so are only presented with safe foods and it’s been years since they’ve experienced not wanting to eat something, meaning they genuinely believe they’d eat anything, or b) they know they are fussy but also believe being fussy is rude so want to appear polite until faced with something they can’t face eating. (Not realising it’s ruder to at that point make your host rush around trying to make you a different meal than the one they’ve already prepared, than it would have been to just say in advance what they do and don’t eat).

Not where I am it’s not!

It's 35°C !

That’s fine if you know what things are to your guest’s liking.

When somebody tells you that they will eat anything but they really mean anything they are familiar with, it makes it harder.

As she is a guest you should be cooking things to her liking.

If you’re bothered about her liking what you’ve made then you need to go more traditional. Pie, mash and peas. Steak and chips. Shepherds pie. sticky toffee pudding.

"I wouldn't ever think to serve older people tacos, that's pretty out there for that generation."

Looks pretty general to me.

As for chickpeas and tagines being new and weird, tagines (often with chickpeas - and fruit!) were the cliche of the 1990s, just as sandwich toasters were for the 80s and fondue sets for the 70s. "That generation" would have been in their 30s.

Pease pudding is yellow split peas made into a hummus textured paste which you can add milk to, to de- thicken. We used to eat it with faggots! Absolutely wonderful winter food. If you add garlic, chilli, coconut milk.. you have some British Dahl!

I think it is a North Eastern thing. I had never encountered it until I visited PILs home in County Durham where it was served cold with a ham salad. Not offensive but a bit Meh I thought.

DH recently exclaimed in delight when he found tins of it for sale in our local supermarket. However, I notice he hasn't been pressing for us to buy any.

Yes pease pudding, vaguely remember it but wouldn’t have eaten it as a dc as it sounded disgusting

Totally agree. My dps in their 80s and used to eat Thai, Chinese, Indian in the 80s and 90s

Bacon and egg flan! Love it! 😂

Actually, weirdly, my Dad would eat quiche, but that may have been because Mum presented it as a bacon and egg flan and I guess "flans" were acceptable.

Oh, you've made me remember another of FIL's aversions, quiche. It wasn't a food for men - I'll refrain from saying what sort of men he said it was for - they also had a disease! He was a committed Christian!

ooo pease pudding.....served with boiled bacon.....yum.

This sounds exactly like my Dad was. In fact my Dad was also very scathing of what he considered "faddy' people, i.e. what we typically now call picky eaters, but in fact he was probably the faddiest eater I knew. He would have been outraged to have this pointed out.

The list of things he wouldn't eat included:

• Pizza,
• Any sort of pasta that didn't come out of a tin covered in tomato sauce,
• Rice (except rice pudding which was OK)
• Any sort of melon,
• Bananas,
• Cucumber,
• Tomatoes with their seeds in,
• Curry (well let's face it, anything "forrin")
• Cottage cheese
• Coleslaw
• Crumbles (weirdly as he would happily eat things like apple pie)
• Yoghurt
• Crusty bread (didn't like hard crusts)

The list probably goes on but he has been dead for nearly 40 years so I cannot remember more. No doubt it would have been added to over the years if he had lived longer.

Basically he liked traditional meat and two veg type meals similar to what he was brought up with in the 20s and 30s. But faddy? Him? No!

Yes, she probably means she will eat anything from her limited repertoire of meals. Not knowing what tacos are is a bit of a giveaway.

Yes, she should have been clearer, absolutely. I think in this case, what happened is more of a fundamental misunderstanding from her on what 'anything' could involve. It might be better to reframe the question, instead of asking what she doesn't eat, ask what she would usually have for breakfast/lunch/dinner. She probably doesn't think she is fussy, as she just doesn't think about foods she wouldn't normally eat. So didn't mean to mislead you, was just blinkered with her daily diet.

Whilst what you mentioned sounded lovely, fresh, nicely prepared and healthy, it isn't traditionally British. So by asking what she normally eats, rather than what she doesn't, you might get a better picture to make some little tweaks to cater to. Good luck!

He’ll have it but on rare occasions and somewhat begrudgingly.

I have no problem with fussy eaters, I used to be one myself, my issue is that he just says he’ll eat anything but in then in practice he doesn’t. We also grew up with wildly different food cultures, which doesn’t help. I’m not a “I need endless dips” person, I’m a “olive oil and vinegar is all I need” person.

I will eat anything but not bread ? That is truely weird

Bloody hell yes. Im 64 and eat all kinds of food. Im vegetarian so pulses are obligatory.
I guess if an older person has dentures pulses might be a bit troublesome especially cous cous as it gets everywhere. Most 60 year olds have travelled these days so are not stuck in the era of wartime cooking.

How is she supposed to know what’s normal in your house though, so what you’d have in stock?

The only reasonable approach is to tell her what each meal is and ask if that’s ok or not.

It’s very frustrating. But her everything is within her realm of food. It’s the not trying just a little. Keep it simple. You all want to have a happy dinner table.

No, I tailored my comment to the OP's mil specifically. It wasn't a general comment and it wasn't about you personally. I'm in my 50s and my husband is 60 next year so I'm definitely not ageist, and we eat all kinds of things, but some people do not and that's what I was talking about.