Is it unreasonable to be frustrated by a guest who says they eat anything when they actually don’t?

My FiL didn’t think he’d had dinner if it wasn’t meat, veg and potatoes. They once came round for dinner. I cooked spaghetti bolognaise - hardly exotic - but after he’d eaten a full portion and pudding, he turned to MiL and said ‘we’d better get going - we haven’t had dinner yet’.

it’s frustrating because there were already two meals where you weren’t aligned and then you went M&S so there was an opportunity for her to pick items she would like. Maybe you could have cajoled her a bit more at M&S but on the other hand, she’s an adult. I do think older people don’t want to be a bother and so say everything’s fine.

in terms of asking what she likes to eat, I also say I eat everything but on reflection that’s probably within the bounds of what I consider “normal” or what I normally eat, which is pretty varied, but realistically there are some things I’d prefer not to eat that I wouldn’t think to mention because I’d assume “safe” things are chosen for hosting (eg a main course which had a really really strong cheese as its main flavour or component, a very spicy dish etc). For your MIL, this seems to be things outside of traditional English dishes. Next time perhaps you could say you were thinking about xyz meals and please say if that doesn’t work.

But people in their 90s now were only in their 40s and 50s then.

What I found even more annoying is a friend who tells me she can't have chocolate, allergic to sulphur in wine and a couple of other things she doesn't like. Had her over for dinner and made two desserts - one with chocolate and one without - guess which dessert she choose?

So now when I have her for dinner I make two dishes for every course and we have bets on which dish she will eat....every single time she picks the dish she doesn't like - other than the white wine

Could your DH have a conversation with MIL and explain that you want her to have things to eat that she enjoys and that saying you "eat anything" when you dont enjoy certain foods isn't helpful for anyone.

Just make sure that whatever meat she is having today isn’t marinated in anything so if you have steak or chicken then serve her portions plain but a bbq sounds perfect as it sounds like she will eat sausages anyway

This OP.

there is a whole range of more commonplace British, Italian, French, Spanish dishes that you could have picked (and not the more ‘out there’ ones of each cuisine, rather than what you picked).

oh and this. I would purely LOVE to eat some of the things I ate when I was younger but its a risky business now and REALLY risky when staying with someone else.

Which perfectly illustrates that people are different

I have granola type breakfasts with yogurts most days and while I like croissants and would eat one if on offer my preference for breakfast would be something less buttery

I don’t mind chickpeas in moderation, eg as a side dish with a restaurant curry, but I think it’s being deliberately disingenuous to offer them as a main meal on a guest’s first night.
I also don’t believe that this makes MIL a “meat and two veg person”… I bet she eats other food. OP’s menu is particularly Gen Z ( Taco Bell anyone)?

Enough with the 'generational' crap

All my friends eat a broad range of foods (including 'modern', whatever that is) and are happy to try new things

I don't, because I have always had a limited diet. But that's me, not my age.

PS I love salad dressings and hate salad cream

Yeh I'm 39 and if someone served vegetable and chickpea anything I'd definitely still be hungry afterwards 😂

I am in my 60s and also have this. But the MIL should have told them this first, or brought her own food, rather than be a (preventable) pain in the arse.

Yes I’d always make something special for guests. I wouldn’t just serve what we normally eat.

That poster didn't mention age?

But anyway, surely it's just courtesy to offer something cooked. Toast and the very least!

This. What the OP listed, I could eat to be polite but it wouldn't be on my radar of what I would say I didn't like.

This! Why isn't your husband dealing with his own picky and annoying mother?

Yes that’s very common. I’ve encountered so many older people who used to love garlic, onions and curry but can no longer tolerate them.

And I would. It’s a matter of preference, not age.

Dear Lord, the expectation that anyone over 60 only eats meat and 2 veg is incredible. And ageist, obviously.

Both my parents (gone now, but would be late 80’s/90), both cooked and ate out a wide variety of foods and cuisines. Totally normal.

It’s mindset and life experience that shape attitudes to food (as well as everything else), not age. Never had it, don’t want to try it either. Just as prevalent in young people of a certain demographic I would wager.

Salad cream is a marker of working classes, I know it because it is what my grandparents preferred. I think that you are pushing the wrong class of food on her - my grandparents would not entertain chickpeas, or tacos. Ethnic foods are the preserve, I think, of the colonial upper middle classes or ethnic communities for that age category - I remember as a child going to a friend's house in the early 1980s and trying for the first time chickpeas in a curry so hot, that there was an obligatory sliced banana on a bread plate for everyone, but her grandparents were born in India and were used to it, their parents were in the Colonial service. I think that it is only young-ish people who embrace all that these days.

To be honest, I’d always offer guests some sort of egg/toast and marmalade/croissant for breakfast. I wouldn’t want yoghurt and granola first thing either!!