Is it unreasonable to be frustrated by a guest who says they eat anything when they actually don’t?

Wow. What's it like to be so narrow minded?

Chickpeas are amazing - in curry, roasted with paprika, made into hummus...

Why don't you try some? Go on, be adventurous!!

(I'm also in my 50s btw)

I don’t really like cooking but I do like to choose different foods when I’m out. And not just stuff I’m used to, I’ve had friends cook me stuff I’ve never had before and I’ve been excited to try it. Some of it I wouldn’t have it again, some of it I then go on to make for myself.

But I get that some people are just not adventurous at all. DH is like this, a childhood of beige food, but that’s his problem to deal with, not anyone else’s, so if we go somewhere and someone has cooked something he doesn’t like then he will just eat what he can and stay quiet about it.

I guess I just find it weird there are people under the age of 50 (I am 40 so similar generation) who haven’t ever heard of a taco but are presumably computer literate, out there living in the world. A taco! 🌮

You deserve a medal. I hope it's all appreciated!

Love the pp who would rather order in a pizza than eat something with onions and garlic in 😁

This reminds me of doing playdates where everyone’s child eats anything and it turns out no one’s children eat everything and why my playdate menu consists of cheese and tomato pizza, fish fingers or nuggets. Even then if they’re from a different shop to what they’re used to it’s 50/50 whether they can be stomached.

TBH if I have people coming and I don’t know what they’ll eat I do roast chicken and salad stuff so people can pick what they’d like and if they’re staying I’d have white bread, butter, jam and cheese in to do sandwiches, toasties or toast.

Yes, but I assume you're interested in food and cooking. Lots of people aren't. We all have to eat but for many food is fuel only and the idea of spending time finding out more about it is mystifying. There are psychological issues in some cases to do with distaste for handling raw food or eating things that are unfamiliar or a million and one other issues. There are medical reasons why some people avoid some foods. A lot of people don't realise how different other people's diets and preferences are, as this thread has made abundantly clear, so when they say 'I eat anything' they mean 'I eat anything I'm used to which I assume is what you're used to as well, because why you would eat anything else?'

My mum and dad will eat anything
my MIL…… grew up on a farm in Ireland . Has never had a takeaway, and definitely would not eat any food other than traditional meat and 2 veg, stew etc. however she wouldn’t claim she ‘eats anything’, so I would cater to her needs
My husband who is 57 never even had pasta until he was 18.
im an actual real life will eat anything, wish I was more fussy 😂

My dad would tell you he eats anything, not fussy. In fact (I know because he lives with me) he is the most neurotic picky eater I’ve ever known. No white sauces, no custard or cream, no fish, no big pieces of meat, no spices - basically anything goes, as long as it’s English, completely mullered and drowned in gravy 😭

It’s a nightmare because I have another dependent who only eats the opposite kind of food and is also underweight. Dad has Alzheimer’s so there’s no point challenging him at this point. DH and I are trying to get fitter and improve our health, so we eat a lot of fish and lean meat and salad and soup (neither of the two awkward gits will eat that). I spend a lot of time cooking separate meals for people who loudly insist that they aren’t fussy and will eat anything. I feel your pain OP!

I think this is pretty much my take on how she is behaving. Some gentle questioning might help you with meal planning for the next time ahead stays and she could just be hugely out of her comfort zone.

If she’s having “allergy testing” could she be suffering with some digestion problems anyway? I would try having a chat with her about why the allergy testing sounded like it was worth a try.

And there we have it in a nutshell. We all have different experiences. I moved to London in 1979 and first tasted hummus a few months later. I thought it was wonderful. At the time it was only available in shops selling Middle Eastern food, I think. Within a few years it had become a staple and every supermarket sold it. Even so when we first offered it to my parents in the late 1990s they had never tasted it before. By that stage we had it in the fridge all the time. It was one of the few foods my then picky son would always eat.

I was not raised in the UK, but have British parents who only ate British food.

But why would you assume this? If you stay in a Premier Inn or similar they offer a full cooked breakfast or a continental breakfast. Yoghourt, muesli, granola, fruit juice, fresh fruit all served alongside cereal, toast, bacon, eggs etc. If you eat out at lunchtime you must have noticed that all the big chains offering meal deals now offer wraps and salads as well as conventional sandwiches made with two slices of bread. Evening meals have always varied a great deal according to the preferences of the people eating them, budget, cooking ability and equipment, medical issues, ethnicity, religion, moral issues (e.g. veganism) and so on.

You don't think the OP's food is typical and common. I don't think there is such a thing in the UK any more. Always best to be direct and state explicitly what you like, rather than assume.

I think the problem is some people have very narrow horizons where food is concerned and would never think of cooking a dish they see on the telly. One of my friends would say she ate anything but she disliked any kind of liquid or sloppy food, so fruit fool, gravy, sauces etc were out. She said she liked cheese but it turned out she liked edam from the supermarket! This is really on your OH, who must know what she's like.

if you were you raised in the UK in 1980s and have never heard of Heinz salad cream I find that astonishing 😂

This thread has been a fascinating read.

I'm blown away that there are people under 50 in (I assume) the UK who don't know what a taco is.

But I (54yo) have no fucking clue what salad cream is so I'm not judging!

I agree with this. To be honest if I’m catering for older people I assume this too. They didn’t grow up with the same access to international foods as us! I just keep it simple.

Not heard “abdabs “ for ages.
Next level is “ screaming abdabs”.

TBH I'm surprised at this. You may not eat all around the world, but tacos are hardly "out there" in terms of dishes. I see this kind of thing sold as street food.

This has brought back memories of FIL, and MIL.

They ate anything except FIL did not eat: mushrooms, pasta, pizza, cruciate vegetables, and wasn't keen on chicken. It went further, once adter a week with us FIL was vocieferous about garlic being disgusting and how he'd never eat it. Oh his face when I said "that's interesting, because every meal you have had for a week has contained garlic".

Breakfast, utterly rigid:
A glass of orange juice, no bits
Tea - from the pot
Muesli with additional SunPat raisins - once I had to buy supermarket own, and it was raised every single morning; always with top of the milk
A braburn apple, painstakingly sliced
A slice of wholemeal toast with salted butter and lime marmalade
Another cup of tea from the pot.

Lunch:
A cheese sandwich. Two slices of wholemeal bread, unbuttered, cheese slices set across rather than longways. I put it in long ways once and MIL told me off and made me change it. Two pickled onions placed to the left.

MIL once caught me rinsing new potatoes before boiling and had the abdabs because I wasn't peeling them and FIL would not be able to eat an unpeeled new potato.

I repeat, they were not fussy. I was, on occasion, tempted to ram the fucking raisins down his throat.

I don't think thats obvious at all, isn't beige food what small children eat like chicken nuggets and oven chips? I can't imagine a woman I her 60s eating that or assuming everyone else does, that would be very odd wouldnt it?

This. She thinks her son is still eating the meat and 3 veg meals she served him.

She means she assumes youre having meat and two veg, soup, or fish and chips

I think.. irritating though it may be id say something like. It would really mean something to me to make some of your favourite food - what would you like?

I think she doesnt want to be a hassle to you and is ironically being more of a hassle. Bless your patience

I can’t eat a lot of food due to a medical issue. I always specify to the host - usually what I can eat. I’m easy to cater for as I eat plain food & sometimes I’ve bought my own if I’m staying overnight etc.

I can see it from both sides, so I didn't vote.

It's frustrating for you OP because you asked your MIL what food she likes to eat (giving her the opportunity to state her likes and dislikes) and she assured you that she eats everything. That has turned out not to be the case.

But when your MIL said she eats everything, I don't think she was being disingenuous. It simply never occurred to her that you might offer her things like vegetables, chickpeas, dried fruit, tacos etc. for dinner. Or yogurt, fruit and granola for breakfast. She probably assumed you would make a meat and two veg. dinner, and serve up toast for breakfast. So she assured you that she eats everything. I agree with @curiouscat1987 that certain foods simply aren't on her radar.

Fussiness about food isn't always an age thing. I've a friend in her '50s who eats a very plain diet. She grew up on a farm in rural Ireland and never really took to Italian/Chinese/Indian foods. She doesn't like spicy foods. It makes things difficult when we're trying to choose a restaurant for a meal, because not all restaurants serve carvery style dishes.

On the other hand, my Dad is in his '80s and happily eats lasagne, curry etc. Although he has to more careful what he eats now, due to acid reflux issues. And his false teeth cause issues too e.g. he finds it hard to chew steak.

Might be best if you involve her with the meal planning for whatever time you have left e.g. "For dinner today I'm trying to decide between a roast chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, pizza or a spicy curry - which of those takes your fancy?"

As for M&S, she might usually shop in cheaper supermarkets and was wary of running up a huge bill for you. Or just didn't want to make a fuss. She's probably way out of her comfort zone. But you're trying to be a good host, so it's very frustrating for you.

Hmmm, vegetable and chick pea what?!

I think if you know she prefers meat and two veg type meals, I’d cook those whilst she was round. I presume she’s not staying forever.

I would have a good conversation about food and ask her-

what do you normally eat for breakfast at home?

Do you tend to have sandwiches for lunch? What’s your favourite type of break (white, brown granary or rolls?) and fillings?

What are your favourite meals? We tend to eat curry/tacos or spag Bol etc-what do you like?

and go from there. She doesn’t want to be difficult, doesn’t realise that when she says ‘I eat anything’ she actually means, ‘I eat any of the food I usually have at home!’ so I’d be more direct in my questioning as that’s going to be helpful to you when planning.

I think it’s wild people using the internet, immersed in modern life and don’t know what a taco is! We had fajitas growing up in the late 90s, early 2000s.

I guess maybe if you’ve never ever travelled too, my mum ate and cooked all sorts of things but she had lived in other countries, travelled to Mexico, India, all over the world, so was obviously well exposed to other cultures and food. Curries, tacos, tagines, etc. were just normal fare. She died a few years at 69 and definitely wasn’t a meat and two veg kind of person.

I do think a lot of people think they eat a varied diet but what they mean is they eat variations of the same theme. I don’t like mushrooms, but I will eat pretty much anything else and I do mean that! DH is very picky, I don’t cater to it and if we go somewhere with stuff he won’t eat he just has to suck it up.