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Original poster

Another holiday ruined - damaged the hire car - think I’m covered but DP being awful!

136 replies

Whyismycatanasshat · 23/05/2026 22:57

Long story short, we’re on holiday with a hire car and on the way to return it I’ve quite deeply scraped both the alloys down one side, having pulled over very sharply and in to a curb whilst taking evasive action. Genuinely couldn’t avoid doing it, it was that or be crashed into. DP acknowledges that bit.

DP is absolutely furious with me, adamant we’re going to get a HUGE bill and I know he won’t let this one go for the rest of our break - he started the moment we left the drop off; it was after hours drop off so no one to discuss it with.

Given I purchased the zero excess cover and crash damage waiver and the zero excess says

“Zero Excess (ZE) is an optional coverage available to the renter. The purchase of ZE reduces the customers liability to 0 Euro in cases of:

  • Damage to the vehicle's bodywork
  • Damage to the tyres, rims or windscreen of the hire vehicle
  • Theft or attempted theft of the rented vehicle”

I believe I’m right to tell him to shut the hell up, especially given he won’t drive a car abroad and he’s a professional haulier!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 24/05/2026 02:00

CamillaMcCauley · 24/05/2026 01:29

he insists on a family holiday

I would insist equally forcefully that until he has learned emotional regulation so that he doesn’t ruin every family holiday, he’s not welcome to join you and the kids. Tag your holidays onto the end of your visits to parents instead.

Yes to this.

shuggles · 24/05/2026 01:38

@Whyismycatanasshat His behaviour is very unusual. It's very strange to get wound up over damage to a car. It's only a car, it's not important. What weird and bizarre behaviour.

coneyislandoldspot · 24/05/2026 01:33

To be honest I’d be furious too.

CamillaMcCauley · 24/05/2026 01:29

he insists on a family holiday

I would insist equally forcefully that until he has learned emotional regulation so that he doesn’t ruin every family holiday, he’s not welcome to join you and the kids. Tag your holidays onto the end of your visits to parents instead.

gamerchick · 24/05/2026 01:20

notanothernamechange24 · 23/05/2026 23:17

I’d loose my shit with him and tell him to either shut up about it and enjoy the rest of the holiday or piss off home on his own. Then if he fails to achieve either I’d be ditching him for the rest of the holiday and filing for divorce on my return home. I don’t have time for that shit.

This is exactly what I was going to say. I'd probably hold off on the divorce for the minute though.

Shut up or go home and tell him he's never going away with yous again. Poor bairns can't even get to remember a holiday fondly. What's the point in going?

ProfessorBinturong · 24/05/2026 01:06

Whyismycatanasshat · 23/05/2026 23:11

@JustGiveMeReason I honestly think he’d rather be at home when we’re away; he finds something to complain about and goes to town on it and it grinds the DC and I down. I have offered to take the DC and go myself but he insists on a family holiday. My SIL says their Dad was exactly the same. Can’t bear to enjoy themselves.

@TheJuryIsOut He will be worrying about the money side but also he has form for this rubbish.

Next time, don't 'offer' to go without him. Insist. Tell him straight up he's not welcome, and why.

If up to now he has insisted on and got his own way, it's your turn to choose.

Friendlygingercat · 24/05/2026 00:49

Our family holidays were always in a caravan and my parents spent most of the time arguing about money. So imagine being in a tiny space with two grumpy parents and no privacy. I stopped going when I reached age 16. I had just begun work and told them I couldnt get the annual leave. Fortunately they believed me. I stayed at home and had a blissful week. That was when I learned that I loved my own company and could manage perfectly well at home on my own.

DogAnxiety · 24/05/2026 00:45

Ohdearnotthisagain · 24/05/2026 00:33

I’d say point blank don’t come you ruin holidays for the rest of us.

This.

”only” doing it on holidays is still totally unreasonable, and the fact you even think you might be overreacting is a sign to me that this probably happens in lesser forms at home.

either way, it’s a total dick move. He is punishing you. It’s happened repeatedly and is actually abusive behaviour. Dont passively sit on the balcony drinking wine to numb the dickhead bevaviour with a mild rebuke to “wind his neck in”. And definitely don’t waste your precious holiday stewing over why he does what he does. He isn’t your problem to fix. Go do your own thing with the kids tomorrow and tell him he’s upset you so much he isn’t welcome. When he apologises sincerely he can rejoin you.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 24/05/2026 00:35

Stoicandhappy · 23/05/2026 23:09

Tell him you aren’t driving abroad with him again as he’s such a knobhead.

Never mind the driving is be leaving the knobhead full stop!

Ohdearnotthisagain · 24/05/2026 00:33

I’d say point blank don’t come you ruin holidays for the rest of us.

Original poster
Whyismycatanasshat · 24/05/2026 00:04

@speckledpinkhen He’s a decent bloke when not on holiday! You’d not think he had it in him.
Today’s behaviour has touched a nerve and upset the elder DC which is why I’m so pissed off with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whyismycatanasshat · 24/05/2026 00:02

@Pistachiocake I don’t dislike the driving, and it’s been necessary this time so the DC could visit a certain thing before we ended up where we are now.
if it wasn’t the car. It would be something else.

OP posts:
speckledpinkhen · 24/05/2026 00:01

Wow! Accidents happen, I hope you’re OK. You sound great -your partner not so much xxx

Original poster
Whyismycatanasshat · 24/05/2026 00:00

@Sweepyed I’m not sure if it’s anxiety or learnt behaviour from his Dad.

OP posts:
Pistachiocake · 23/05/2026 23:59

You're both unreasonable to do driving holidays, if he doesn't want to drive, and you're not happy about doing it all the time.
It sounds like he overreacts and gets anxious about things. Lots of people are like this, and it doesn't make them bad people, but it stresses out those around them, and can't be nice for them. Get him to get some help.

angelikacpickles · 23/05/2026 23:59

He's being a dick in several different ways simultaneously. You won't have to pay anything if you have excess cover.

Happyjoe · 23/05/2026 23:58

What does he want? Next time to go head onto a crash, just so he's happy? He's being a twat.

If he wants to be moody on hols, just go off. Leave him, grab the kids and go off for the day until he learns to be reasonable.

Original poster
Whyismycatanasshat · 23/05/2026 23:58

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 23/05/2026 23:45

It's not your cat that's the asshat!

Show quote history

That made me laugh!
I miss the original asshat cat, new cat is not such a dick. Maybe that’s why DP is.

OP posts:
Sgtmajormummy · 23/05/2026 23:56

If you have zero liability you just drop off the rented car and walk away.
For peace of mind (foreign country, language barriers, possible traffic delays, quibbling staff and stress of airports) I always get it.
OP, find it on the documents and tell “sourpuss” (insert relevant insult) to lighten up.
I cannot stand holiday killjoys.

Sweepyed · 23/05/2026 23:47

Is he more anxious when abroad?
if hes generally a bit of a worrier, being in another country would add to it.
Once we had an issue with the bus tap on / off and looked like we maybe fined and it was pretty hard to concentrate afterwards.
Realistically 2 damaged alloys cant be that expensive surely?

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 23/05/2026 23:45

Whyismycatanasshat · 23/05/2026 23:11

@JustGiveMeReason I honestly think he’d rather be at home when we’re away; he finds something to complain about and goes to town on it and it grinds the DC and I down. I have offered to take the DC and go myself but he insists on a family holiday. My SIL says their Dad was exactly the same. Can’t bear to enjoy themselves.

@TheJuryIsOut He will be worrying about the money side but also he has form for this rubbish.

It's not your cat that's the asshat!

Original poster
Whyismycatanasshat · 23/05/2026 23:38

@Delphiniumandlupins both him and his mother have rose tinted glasses and “don’t recall his dad being like that” but SIL does and he’s got to have learnt it somewhere.
The elder DC have seen him with new eyes today and don’t want to go out with him tomorrow.

@Solaitt We’re going home early Wednesday, the elder DC have commented on him being horrible for the first time ever.

@Stoicandhappy we have one family holiday a year. I take the dcs away myself to see family twice a year and after today I’ve realised we don’t miss him on those trips.

OP posts:
Solaitt · 23/05/2026 23:33

I’m sorry OP. He sounds horrible.

When are you due to come home?

Delphiniumandlupins · 23/05/2026 23:24

Ask him about his childhood holidays. Does he remember how his dad behaved and how it made him feel? Because that is what he's doing to your DC. And what they may eventually do to your grandchildren if he doesn't break the cycle.

Stoicandhappy · 23/05/2026 23:22

If he’s generally an arse on holiday just stop going with him. Take the DC and leave him at home.