Another holiday ruined - damaged the hire car - think I’m covered but DP being awful!

Look if that’s the option… the entire marriage is dead, buried.

OP… if he carries on like this and ruins yet another holiday, your DC are going to remember family holidays as very unhappy experiences.

They no doubt say listening to their dad go on and on and on at you yesterday and just thought…. Dad kicking off again. Mum sad again.

You have to change this op. Your partner isn’t going to. What is life like on non holidays? He must be like this about so much in life.

Yeah that's his last family holiday. Ever.
Book and pay for them yourself going forward. You and the kids go away and have a fab time without the whiney-arsed shit

You keep saying it’s learned behaviour from his father.

So what?

He is being vile. Spoiling your holiday. Upsetting your dcs.

Why are you putting up with it? Every single holiday for years to come will also be ruined? Great.

If you took the zero excess option then you will simply lose your deposit and there will be nothing extra to pay. So you'll be out of pocket for the (presumably £250 ish) deposit, but that is all. Ask me how i know?!!! 😭.

Your DH can do one! Accidents happen, this is why we have insurance and zero NC policies. Enjoy your holiday!

DP is absolutely furious with me, adamant we’re going to get a HUGE bill and I know he won’t let this one go for the rest of our break - he started the moment we left the drop off;

and all this in front of the DC. Just tell him out of their ear shot that he is not to mention this again in front of the DC.

Another holiday ruined.

Has any holiday ever been pleasant with your husband? Even your honeymoon?

Anxiety is very much a learned behaviour.

tell him youre not going on holiday with him again as his behaviour has been awful and ruined yet another holiday. You’re drawing a line and you’re leaving him at home so nobody has to put up with his shit.

Gosh. Me and DH have damaged a fair few hire cars! My dad fully crashed one on holiday once. It happens.

Like hell i'd have a grown man playing passenger princess & then pouting and moaning about my driving, ruining my time away especially with children there who no doubt were excited to come away.
It feels incredibly abusive to be behaving like this when you're essentially 'trapped' as he probably knows you won't cut the holiday short as you'd not want to upset DC so jist have to put up with it.
Say "so this is what you've chosen this holiday to complain about then?" And list the other holidays he's ruined with his childlike complaining about thingd and say "it's a clear pattern with you and it's getting tedious now. Next time, don't come"

Tell him he is boring and predictable

You were wondering what bee in his bonnet he would obsess over this holiday and if he doesn’t shut the fuck up you are driving back to the car hire place, leaving the car and going home and he can stay and get the divorce papers when he returns.

Why does he do it every holiday

Does he have a gf that he misses whilst you are away? Because that is what my mind will turn to.

Exh used to cause arguments before we went away. Then would threaten to not go.

He did that till I unpacked his suitcase a few hours before we left one time because he said he wasn’t going

Didn’t do it again

These things happen @Whyismycatanasshat- as long as you’re all safe and well, that’s all that matters. I would be having a quiet word with him, he either lets it go or gets on the first plain home. No way would I let anyone ruin my DCs holiday, or mine for that matter!

Next time don’t offer to take the kids away solo, tell him you are. Then state it is due to behaviour on all previous holidays and try to have a list of this alongside your oldest child’s comments from experiencing first hand

I bet it’s not just on holidays though. At home, have you things set up in such a way that exactly all his needs are being met ?
incase he starts to frown ?

Watch out for this. You need to look at overall behaviour x x

The car will be fine. We went to France 7 years ago and we intended to share the driving but DH had left his driving licence at home, so I had to be sole driver. When we hired the car, a couple were having a heated discussion with the staff about a collision they'd had, because they hadn't taken out the CDW. We made sure we took out the CDW.

We were following sat nav but it took us into a tunnel that split in two directions, and every time we entered the tunnel we lost sat nav, so we looped around and started again. The road coming out of the tunnel had stupidly high kerbs that were rough and glinted in the sun like quartz. I misjudged the curve of the road because I was trying to work out where we were going, and gouged the alloys.

When we returned it, I didn't even mention it because we had CDW, and the member of staff didn't even shrug. It was covered.

If he can't regulate his behaviour while away, and won't let you go alone with the DC, then personally I'd refuse to go on holiday again, and I'd make sure he knew it was because he ruins every holiday. Your DC are in turn learning this behaviour and may possibly treat their future families the same way.

I would be reminding him of previous examples of ruining holidays and be firm that this will be the last one he does it too. You are being way too accepting of his behaviour and if he learnt this from his dad, what are you dc learning?

Your Passenger princess should be driving next holiday given his attitude.

it sounds like you avoided worse damage and problems & have the zero excess cover.

deffo tell him to shut up & go on abroad driving strike

If it’s just the alloys this is normally ok in terms of rental car damage. Sorry about the husband though.

He needs to learn his behaviour has consequences.

If he is going to insist on a family holiday then he needs to stop ruining them.

Regardless of how his dad was, he's an adult and responsible for his own damaging behaviour.

I'd be telling him this is the last family holiday he's coming on unless he does somethinng to change.

He sounds like an idiot. You say he acknowledges that you had no choice and the alternative was to get crashed I to so what is he upset with you about? And you also have insurance coverage so yes tell him to STFU.

I’ve told him that just now and he says he likes public transport! He’s full of crap.

That's fine. For the rest of the holiday, you and the kids drive out to do whatever you want to do, he can stay behind or follow on by public transport.

Why are you putting your kids through this every year OP? Poor kids.

What is the point of spending all the money to go on holiday and have it ruined by his selfish, sulky, nasty behaviour?
Tell him to fuck right off and spend the rest of the holiday with your kids and never go with Mr Misery again…

I’d give him 2 choices. Therapy or he doesn’t come on holiday. Write a letter to him outlining how he makes you feel, the impact on the DC, how he only behaves like this on holiday. Ask him if a friend was telling them about how on their trip they scraped the rental car taking evasive action, what would his reaction be? Would he say to them well that’s your holiday ruined then.

But I would not put up with this