Accidentally made dh think his dm had died but is his reaction too much?

Ok I shout out that you're mums name and that's she's died whilst looking at my phone, even leaving aside you were actually waiting for the news that your mum has died, you'd be upset..

Only I wouldn't. Because if someone said (there is no suggestion that the name was shouted) "Jennifer is dead", I wouldn't connect that name with my mother because I always call her "Mum" and everyone who talks about her to me calls her "mum", "your mum" or "our mum" and that's how it is in most families that I know.

Were you reading your phone while talking to your sister ?

Ok I shout out that you're mums name and that's she's died whilst looking at my phone, even leaving aside you were actually waiting for the news that your mum has died, you'd be upset.

Noone in the history of the world has ever referred to Judith Chamers by her first name apart from her friends and family. She's not been current on TV for 20 years and I bet the op and her sister never, ever referred to her in 1990 as bloody Judith.

The op has been completely stupid and thoughtless, bugger blaming an illness. She's expecting mil to die and when a message with that name has come up she's jumped in and is trying to cover her stupidity

Clearly this isn't the first time something like this has happened and he's rightly had enough.

Doesnt matter if he was in the same room or not, unless the phone was on loud speaker or it was somehow a 3 way conversation (which if it was, he woukd know they werent talking about his mother), then he was listening in and only getting a piece of the conversation. Hes overreacted. It could all have been straightened out over a few simple sentences and an apology.

Agree, I am nothing like the poster's partner, if anything I am an obsessive declutterer and obsessively tidy because for me everything has to be in its place or I can't find it when I want it.

I am a blurter of inappropriate comments and I do talk to the tv, but I'm also assured by my DH of almost 50 years that I'm very good fun to be around. It does help, I think, that he's ND as well.

Imagine having your day ruined because a simple task was not completed by your spouse. A task a typical 10-year-old could do in minutes.

Imagine piles of empty bottles just strewn about the living room after you've cleaned it. In spite of there being a bin next to the bottles!
Imagine having to navigate your way through the hallway of your home because the junk they meant to take to the recycling centre is STILL there weeks later.
Imagine having to live in chaos because there's not one corner of your home they haven't managed to make a mess of.
Or if there is a room you have free of shit, you have to constantly defend it from encroachment of their stuff.

Imagine having a hole in your roof pissing water through the ceiling because in spite of you giving them half the cash and money is very much available to fix it and them saying they'd call the roofer but haven't so you get into a big argument because they get annoyed if you say you'll do it.

And then, after another day of this, you can't even watch your favourite TV show cause they talk all the way through it.
F*ing endlessly.

You can say it's nobody's fault and I'd agree. Nobody should have to tolerate this behaviour from another adult in a marriage, though.

Imagine having your day ruined because a simple task was not completed by your spouse. A task a typical 10-year-old could do in minutes.

Imagine piles of empty bottles just strewn about the living room after you've cleaned it. In spite of there being a bin next to the bottles!
Imagine having to navigate your way through the hallway of your home because the junk they meant to take to the recycling centre is STILL there weeks later.
Imagine having to live in chaos because there's not one corner of your home they haven't managed to make a mess of.
Or if there is a room you have free of shit, you have to constantly defend it from encroachment of their stuff.

Imagine having a hole in your roof pissing water through the ceiling because in spite of you giving them half the cash and money is very much available to fix it and them saying they'd call the roofer but haven't so you get into a big argument because they get annoyed if you say you'll do it.

And then, after another day of this, you can't even watch your favourite TV show cause they talk all the way through it.
F*ing endlessly.

You can say it's nobody's fault and I'd agree. Nobody should have to tolerate this behaviour from another adult in a marriage, though.

What's your point, caller?
People with ADHD are awful to be around?
You are entitled to your view, probably best you don't have friendships or relationships with neurodivergent people.
The OP's husband can make his own decision on what works for him.
What isn't needed is people piling on to tell the OP blurting things out is inconsiderate, and that she should think before speaking. What's next? Make a list and you won't forget anything?

You really don't know how you would feel in this situation. I simply don't believe it would be as easy as that to get over it, because it would feel like a massive shock which has physical effects in terms of heart rate etc, and can feel literally as if you've been hit. And in this situation, you wouldn't just say "phew" and forget about it, because you would know perfectly well that it's only a matter of time before the real thing happens.

Nope.
I am always reminded of a TV show I watched- think it was House - and the advice to a warring couple was: sometimes two people just don't get on.

She can't change but he shouldn't be expected to tolerate it, either.

The enormous stress of living with her will probably send him to an early grave if he continues to do so.
This was probably an 'enough!' moment.
(Interesting how his relatives's just taken him in. They must be aware of how it is for him.)

Constant chaos and misunderstandings.

A day that goes as planned is a rare event.
Peace is a rarity. Simple pleasures impossible in their presence.
No just settling down to watch TV feet up in peace.

hmmm…a little strange you referred to her as Judith. Something doesn’t add up here tbh.

I really badly upset dh by accident yesterday and I feel awful but I think his reaction is really over the top? I have ADHD and I really often just blurt things out without even thinking he knows this and it’s how I’ve always been. I totally get that I should have stopped to think but my brain doesn’t work that way.

His mum has been really unwell in and out of hospital for months and currently in HDU very unwell. Her name is Judith.

I was on the phone to my sister yesterday and chatting and had a notification through about Judith chalmers dying. We used to watch the holiday programme as kids and I just blurted out to her ‘oh! Judith’s dead ! I’ve just seen on my phone ‘ to which dh jumped up and went white saying ‘what???’ And I said no no not your mum and apologised as he looked petrified and I felt awful. He went absolutely mad saying I don’t think before I speak and how he’s had enough of me doing things like this.?
He went out and hasn’t come back. He’s staying with his brother as he text me that he needs space and he’s still angry with me?

It was a complete mistake and I know emotions are running high and I feel terrible but I think he’s blown it all out of proportion or do I need to beg and grovel for forgiveness?

No, they were in the same room.. op shrieks… “Judith’s died!”

No, they were in the same room.. op shrieks… “Judith’s died!”