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Accidentally made dh think his dm had died but is his reaction too much?

712 replies

accidentallyUpsetHim · 23/05/2026 19:46

I really badly upset dh by accident yesterday and I feel awful but I think his reaction is really over the top? I have ADHD and I really often just blurt things out without even thinking he knows this and it’s how I’ve always been. I totally get that I should have stopped to think but my brain doesn’t work that way.

His mum has been really unwell in and out of hospital for months and currently in HDU very unwell. Her name is Judith.

I was on the phone to my sister yesterday and chatting and had a notification through about Judith chalmers dying. We used to watch the holiday programme as kids and I just blurted out to her ‘oh! Judith’s dead ! I’ve just seen on my phone ‘ to which dh jumped up and went white saying ‘what???’ And I said no no not your mum and apologised as he looked petrified and I felt awful. He went absolutely mad saying I don’t think before I speak and how he’s had enough of me doing things like this.?
He went out and hasn’t come back. He’s staying with his brother as he text me that he needs space and he’s still angry with me?

It was a complete mistake and I know emotions are running high and I feel terrible but I think he’s blown it all out of proportion or do I need to beg and grovel for forgiveness?

OP posts:
Doesitneverend · 23/05/2026 19:51

MissMoneyFairy · 23/05/2026 19:50

Why did you get a notification about Judith chalmers

I had one too.

Tutorpuzzle · 23/05/2026 19:51

I’m honestly not being sarky but aren’t you at all concerned that you and your family may be easily identified at what is obviously a very hard time?

accidentallyUpsetHim · 23/05/2026 19:50

MissMoneyFairy · 23/05/2026 19:50

Why did you get a notification about Judith chalmers

It came up on a news thing

OP posts:
LizandDerekGoals · 23/05/2026 19:50

MissMoneyFairy · 23/05/2026 19:50

Why did you get a notification about Judith chalmers

You get them if you subscribe to news apps.

accidentallyUpsetHim · 23/05/2026 19:50

LizandDerekGoals · 23/05/2026 19:48

Did you and your sister always refer to judith charmers as judith? Did your sister know who you meant?

Yes we used to watch all those kind of 90s programmes we never did much else the holiday ones the changing rooms type things we loved that kind of 90s tv and reminisce a lot and I just looked at the notification and blurted it out

OP posts:
LizandDerekGoals · 23/05/2026 19:50

Sounds like he was after an excuse to be somewhere else. Do you know he was where he said he was?

MissMoneyFairy · 23/05/2026 19:50

Why did you get a notification about Judith chalmers

Blueper · 23/05/2026 19:50

Your DH is waiting to hear if his mum has died. Yes you made a simple mistake, but it hasn't hurt him simply, it's hurt him very deeply. His reaction isn't rational, but times like this aren't. If I were you I would apologise again, recognisning the impact of whst you said and how tough things are for him right now.

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 23/05/2026 19:49

Serves him right for earwigging..

accidentallyUpsetHim · 23/05/2026 19:49

Jellyofftheplate · 23/05/2026 19:48

He's upset, but he's overreacted. You weren't even talking to him. If you had said that to him that would be different, but if he's listening to a conversation that he's not part of then obviously things can be confused.

I feel terrible and I straight away said as he jumped up so fast but he said he can’t put up with somebody who doesn’t engage their brain before opening their mouth

OP posts:
LizandDerekGoals · 23/05/2026 19:48

Did you and your sister always refer to judith charmers as judith? Did your sister know who you meant?

Jellyofftheplate · 23/05/2026 19:48

He's upset, but he's overreacted. You weren't even talking to him. If you had said that to him that would be different, but if he's listening to a conversation that he's not part of then obviously things can be confused.

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