Accidentally made dh think his dm had died but is his reaction too much?

this.

OP hurt her husband very deeply. She did not intend to but that’s what happened.

Her having adhd doesn’t change anything either. It doesn’t lessen his hurt!

(I have adhd as well btw.)

I'm sorry but that is hilarious!

Try to Think before you speak

I also agree with this.

If you said "Kylie's dead" or something, most people would think of the popstar.

But Judith Chalmers is not a current celebrity and people never have used a mononym about her. It is pretty obvious in the context how he would take it.

This sounds like the proverbial straw

his mum is in an HDU

you seem to expect him to cut you a lot of slack - maybe you need to return the favour this time and recognise he might be overreacting but he’s going through a really tough time and clearly doesn’t feel very supported

Why was he listening?

I think that was my incredibly crass and if I were your dh I’d be very very upset with you. Nobody just calls Judith Chalmers “judith” out of the blue like that (and trust me, also texted ages friends about it, I was sad about it too), but come on, that should could not have been the Judith at the top of your mind when your MiL is critically ill. You need to apologise profusely.

Huh? It sounds like he was in the same room, he could hardly have helped overhearing.

It is really weird you just said "Judith's dead" and your sister immediately thought "oh, she means Chalmers". Is Judith Chalmers like Madonna for you and known by just one name?

I can imagine the initial shock and for a while afterwards being a little shell shocked still. I've had it with my son where you have that moment of thinking something horrible has happened and it does affect you afterwards.

But there is absolutely nothing to be angry about. You didn't play a prank on him. He listened in on a conversation you were having and got the wrong end of the stick, you immediately clarified it for him. He's massively over reacting and honestly this level of reaction over such a small misunderstanding (I won't even say mistake, as you didn't make a mistake, he misunderstood what he overheard, what you said was true and accurate." This is abusive, this is punishing you for speaking.

He is right to be upset, you were tactless

A complete overreaction on his part.

Its an awful time for him and he overreacted.hes only human. Im sure he will calm down and realise

OP frankly it sounds like you do unreasonable stuff a lot as his reaction is not to this one thing, right?

You said he said he's sick of things like this.

Also honestly YABU massively to blame your ADHD. You made him think his mum was dead. That is really awful. You can't just say "that's how I am, lump it".

What you did was incredibly thoughtless and insensitive, and if it’s the most serious of a long line of incidents I can see why he’s fed up.

It is a bit odd that you wouldn't say Judith Chalmers' as her full name, I can't say I would immediately know who you meant especially if it was a relative's name!

DH is clearly on edge about his mum so I'd cut him some slack. On his reaction, and I don't know a polite way to ask this so forgive my directness, do you quite often use having ADHD as an excuse for behaviour and are not actively doing anything about it? Is that why he's annoyed also?

This …
No one who didn’t know her would say this without her surname

Have you always been on 1st name terms with Judith chalmers?
This smacks of " David's dead"🤣

You are wildly unreasonable both in your actions and in using your adhd as an excuse for being insensitive and hurtful

This reminds me of 'David's dead' from celebrity big brother

Seems odd you just said 'Judith' Did your sister know who you meant?

I can understand your DH being upset.

Apologise for goodness sake. Poor man. Unless you were best friends with Judith Chalmers?