Accidentally made dh think his dm had died but is his reaction too much?

I don't think your DH is overreacting and I do think you should keep apologising because you gave him a terrible fright. The terror for him was the same regardless whether you acted from malice or thoughtlessness. You know you have a problem with speaking before thinking but you haven't explained how you have tried to overcome this. If your parents are still alive imagine how you would feel if someone told you one of them had died, followed by a quick "Sorry, that was a mistake".

I agree. It’s one hell of a mistake to make.

It’s very strange that you have a family member with a not that popular name but your sister and you would both immediately think of a celebrity from decades ago before that family member.

Maybe as a new rule you should not announce the death of anyone.

That’s what I mean. OP wouldn’t have referred to Judith Chalmers as just Judith.

As i tell my 8yo
"Just because you've said sorry doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore"

He justifiably needs time and space to calm down and deal with it, whether or not it was an accident on your part.

Yeah you need to apologise. No excuses. That was shit for him.

OP you say you have ADHD but have you also explored autism? I think I'd be on high alert whenever DH was in the room to not misspeak when his mum is dying. You seem to not understand why it's so emotionally significant to him?

Hmmm I think (possibly subconsciously) you wanted the precise reaction you elicited.

I’m at a loss you’ve written a thread asking if he’s overreacted.
Surely you’re aware of what he’s currently worrying about. You need to apologise profusely and be far more sensitive to his feelings in future.

She wasn't really on as much in the 90s even. Come on now.

@MissyOnTheBus
He was in the same room.

Same here. No one would do this.

He went absolutely mad saying I don’t think before I speak and how he’s had enough of me doing things like this.

Sounds like this isn’t your first rodeo.

COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC Kylie Minogue successfully took Kylie Jenner to court over trademarks even the law agrees that she’s THE Kylie

Total overreaction on his part.
OP you weren’t even talking to him!
why was he eavesdropping in the first place?

I got one from BBC.

Your sister agrees with your DH that you did a shitty thing - sounds like she was shocked too! You need to reflect and apologise.

Also, am I the only one who thinks of Mingogue rather than Jenner when hearing the name Kylie? Is this one of those ‘are you old’ questions?

I would never say 'judith' to my sister if I meant DH's mother. I'd definitely say ' oh no Sis, just heard DH's mum has died'. Got to go, etc.
However celebrity or cultural icon we'd be short handing in a guess who, how old, gossipy way. 'oMG, Judith/Kurt/cilla has just died'

Literally came here to say this 😆😆😆

But even that is understandable as they were sharing a house with David. Judith Chalmers is hardly a big household name to be referred to as “Judith”.

Please be aware that meds aren’t the solution to everything. Meds are a tool. But tools are useless if you don’t actually put in the work and use them properly.

My adhd meds were a complete game changer and - quite frankly - a life saver. I would just encourage to have a plan for how to work and continue working on your major issues.

If this is something that has repeatedly happened (you accidentally hurting somebody by speaking before thinking), have you been working on it? And taken responsibility when it happened?

So even your sister thought you meant your MIL and subsequently thought you were in the wrong.

Eat humble pie. Apologise PROFUSELY and stop clutching at ‘I wasn’t THAT wrong, was I?’ straws

It was an odd and insensitive phrase to say. With your mil being ill, is it not on your mind that talking about death is a sensitive subject anyway, let alone the fact it’s someone with the same name?

I Think you should learn to take a breath before speaking. My autistic dd does this kind of thing but she’s 14 - I’m assuming you’re nearer my age (50).

it may not be your fault but I would really try to address this as it’s resulting in upsetting loved ones.