Accidentally made dh think his dm had died but is his reaction too much?

Your poor husband 😢

I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time here OP. Judith Chalmers was obviously a popular tv presenter in your family and I’ve referred to famous people I like a lot by their first names and my family have known who I meant. ADHD isn’t being used as an excuse. It’s being used as an explanation. It was an unfortunate combination of events and your husband is understandably very stressed and upset about his mum. I think all you can do is apologise and give him some time, and try not to be too hard on yourself.

I find some of the things that people have said on this post really quite astonishing.

• He's 'gone off in a sulk'. Is it possible that hasn't left to prove a point, score a point, etc, but genuinely can't be with OP right now and needs time out?
• He shouldn't have been 'eavesdropping'. So OP is having a convo within his earshot and he overhears?
• He shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Posters are rationalising repeatedly, why did he think this, why did he assume that, etc etc etc. This is a man whose mother is dying. Can't he be excused for perhaps jumping to the wrong conclusion when he hears his mother's name?

I was giving my view of what happened. Which I found unpleasant for her husband.
Her post made me sorry for him.

No you're not alone. Kylie is the pint sized antipodean pop goddess, end of 😀

It's kind of depressing that anyone would think of Jenner first!

He still got fined but there were reductions if the fine was paid early and money could be claimed back for the clamping.
He'd just have not done it.

its got nothing to do with ADHD nothing at all. you say he overreacted that’s got nothing to do with ADHD that’s you being totally insensitive and minimising your error

And another thing: sometimes nobody is the bad guy in a situation.
It's not OP's fault she's like this, nor is it her dh's fault he can't stand it.

I remember my former housemate had forgotten to pay his car tax.
He got clamped.
On top of this, he'd parked in a permit only space so he got a fine for that, too.

I sorted it out for him as to be fair he used to help me out but I can only imagine how his now wife must be constantly exasperated at him.

Did you miss the part where OPs dying MIL is called Judith?

Yes I do know. I missed off a d on a word. You do realise there is a pedants' corner on MN? I understand correct spelling and grammar is way more important to you than a man's shock at thinking his mum had just died.

@LuckyHazelFox You do realise we can see the version you posted before you swiftly corrected it 😂

Peak Mums Net

Context matters, sounds her DH is fed up with the recurrence of these types of things and perhaps he thinks she makes little effort to address how she interacts with people.

In the circumstances I can sympathise with him being very upset.

Are you quite well my love? Too much time in the sunshine? 😎

I'd say that this was unbelievable but having briefly cohabited with a male housemate like OP it isn't.
It's just f*ing constant grief and hassle. It's exhausting being in the same room as them.

I'd literally tidy a room and next day it would be a mess.
I used to be incredulous at this. He'd literally chuck rubbish on the floor. The bin is a foot away. Ffs.

Please I realise that maybe OP can't help it, but I'm talking about from the perspective of somebody sharing a living space with somebody like this and yes I can totally understand why he stormed out.

It is just one thing after the other. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos.

Something tells me if the situations were reversed and the husband had done this you would be telling OP get a grip.

Oddly-misaligned contempt yet you're sneering at posters' spelling and grammar.

How many Judiths do you know? I only of Judith Chalmers.

Totally agree with this.
OP is trying to make it all about her.
You would say the name Judith Chalmers if you were talking about about her death. Not refer to her as Judith as though she is the neighbour up the road or your MIL who has been very unwell and needing admission to HDU.
It’s not the DH’s reaction that’s “too much”. It’s the OP’s ignorance and insensitivity that’s “too much”. But of course let’s blame it on ADHD. 🙄

Did you and your sister always refer to judith charmers as judith? Did your sister know who you meant?

I too found this quite odd. She's not been around for years. Nobody I know would just say Judith without the surname.

Lots of perfect people here that have never put a foot wrong. They can have a 🏅

Perhaps not, but perhaps they would like successful and mutual relationships that can be sustained. OPs partner sounds like he is at the end of his tether with her. So she either develops skills that can enable a successful relationship and social interactions with others or she finds herself on her own. Her choice.

@Monty36 'If you meant to say Judith Chalmers is dead you would say that. Her full name.... You were causing a drama and I think you knew it'.

You sound very confident that you know what the OP's intentions were, and her speech patterns, when you cannot possibly know.

Your post is accusatory and unpleasant.

I'm staggered at the number of people saying 'nobody ever uses a first name unless it's Madonna'. Families have their own short-hands and slang. Sisters have known each other their whole lives. The fact that you wouldn't know doesn't mean the sister wouldn't know; and the conversation was not meant to be three-way.

It's saddening that so many posts are uninformatively adding to a pile-on - and no, they aren't just being straightforward or 'saying it as it is'. Partly wilful misinterpretation, or something else?

AIBU was always astringent, but it used to have a brisk tone which was nevertheless constructive and sounded real.

It now reeks of oddly-misaligned contempt, as well as more contributions having dramatically worse spelling and grammar.

Exactly but we mustn't upset the OP any further.

Or that she does it again soon. Blurts something out. He is highly sensitive at the moment and just can’t take it.