AIBU to be horrified by this story of child abandonment?

Children are not resilient.
They are much less resilient than adults, they are vulnerable and developing and easily damaged.
The idea that 'children are resilient' lets a lot of shitty behaviour off the hook - awful things that happen to you when you are 3 or 5 years old are hugely more damaging than awful things that happen to you when you are a fully formed 30 or 50 year old.

I've read numerous versions of events here, where a car driver called the police on spotting the boys, where they were rescued taken home and fed by a rather fairytale sounding man and his ten children, where they were picked up by police still by the side of the road..

I don't know whats true and whats not now.

The birth father only has visitation rights under supervision. Read that in Le Monde. Seems they were reported missing on 11th May and found on 19th. It's unclear when exactly the boys were abandoned though.

Sounds to me like the mother put herself and her relationship with her partner first, as is often the case and it sounds like the partner didn't want to have two little boys interrupt their lives. So mother complied in order to keep him sweet. I'm only surmising, but that kind of thing is not unheard of either is it?.

www.lemonde.fr/en/international/article/2026/05/23/french-mother-and-partner-detained-after-boys-found-abandoned-in-portugal_6753755_4.html

I absolutely they’ll have hoped what the rest of us would see as the worst happening, then blaming the children for their own death and having it recorded as “misadventure”.

Oh I hadn’t read that. Thank god they found the road. Hopefully they only realised it wasn’t a game when they couldn’t see the car and they weren’t there that long

it does sound like it was remote. I wonder if the plan was to wait a few days and then go back and claim they had lost the boys on a hike.

it’s hard as a mother to get your head around it so it’s easier for a lot of people to assume she’s mad or manipulated

Jeez, those poor kids. The more I read about some adult behaviour the more I'm lost. What is it with some adults.

It really upset me. I don't know how she could do this to these little boys. I'm so sorry for them that they don't have a normal mother. Just awful.

A mother who neatly packs two backpacks with extra clothes and food and drink knows exactly what she's doing – to excuse her behaviour as a MH breakdown is ridiculous. She and the boyfriend were overheard agreeing to pretend they were crazy but the timeline of what they did – packing the bags, being specific about the treasure hunt, being arrested while having a leisurely lunch – means they'll hopefully be sent down for a long time. As a PP said, it's pure dumb luck the boys were found unscathed.

Just horrific.

Hope to God that their father is actually ok with them.

I do think this when MN is saying ‘leave your husband, there will be someone lovely out there who will love you and your kids the way you deserve.’ Or maybe there will be a future like this.

It’s horrific.
I can’t envisage their mentality

Perhaps the backpacks were in case the boys were found, to act as a false story? But the hope was that they wouldn't be? Those supplies would not have lasted long

That was a dreadful case and I’m not sure why pp jumped to that as a potential parallel

Mother in Greater London with three seriously disabled under-fives. She smothered them, iirc. Lots of questions around her mental health, lack of support, non-responsive services. Awful case.

I read somewhere (and I think it was somewhere credible) that the single biggest statistical predictor in cases of child abuse was the presence of a step parent/live in partner...

It wasn't addiction, family history of abuse, abject poverty, it was a step parent.

Why would a mother do this? It beggars belief, but I'd bet my bottom dollar it wouldn't have happened without the existance of her partner.

I’m not sure the man deserves to be called their parent or step dad tbh. He’s the mothers boyfriend

They were 100 miles away when they were arrested so not sure they were intending to go back

They were very lucky to be found by such a lovely man.

I have nothing to say about the parents that left them, I don't understand their motives at all.

Agree, there was so much planning it is hard to pretend it was either insanity or accidental in some way.

I just can’t imagine what the motive was though. They obviously didn’t want the boys dead or they wouldn’t have packed water or spare clothes (plus there are far easier ways). Abandonment clearly was never going to work because 5 year olds know who they are and where they live. McCann-style fame and media attention? But the boys would either be found alive and spill the beans, or be found with provisions so you’d immediately come under suspicion.

So I am left with it being a really really cruel prank on the boys just for the sadism of it, and intending to go back for them once they’d properly traumatised them. Which is horrific, and I just do not understand why anyone would do that.

MH is bullshit

Take care of your kid

She was singing opera apparently

Feckless

Just awful isn't it

I dont buy any of the "oh my mental health" bollocks they are trying out now.

This was premeditated and very well planned by two adults in cooperation with each other. They took them abroad fgs....

It's pure dumb luck these poor children arent dead.

I have 2 and 4 yr old and felt physically sick reading it.

I hope these two get harsh and long sentences and no one buys their fake doolally act.

Their dad was the one that reported them missing