MIL let DD aged 5 get sunburned but DH thinks we should just be grateful she had her and gave her a nice time.

I get that. But we’re in 2026, and she was asked to put it on.

Do you have a suggestion about how better to go about it?

The subsequent post stated that they were going for a walk them mil changed the plan which is why she didn't have her swimsuit so again why is it up to OP to provide a rash vest for a walk in the woods

I gave the info about a rash vest to a new mom ty its why I asked

Deleted my answer as I first thought you were having a go at the op!

Goodness me op, its sunburn. We have all been there and done it. Im sure it wasnt done on purpose. Let it go

Whats a rash vest sorry ty for answer ty

@lostfather666 It's a long sleeve swim top with UV protection. Originally used by surfers, but often now used by kids to protect them from the sun. Like this:
https://www.mountainwarehouse.com/p/021513/mw/kids-long-sleeved-rash-vest/Light%20Purple/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=MW_UK_GGL_PMAX_GENERIC_HIGH+SCORE&utm_term=&utm_content=|pcrid||pkw||pmt||pdv|m|slid||product|021513158005|grp||tid||cmp|20642088702|&searchintent=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20651586409&gbraid=0AAAAADoKbU9tbRcS0TlHIjjstsJxln3IH&gclid=CjwKCAjwidXQBhAZEiwA4egw6LfhMf_5998unUqlZqQxtcSAgTLIr8YM39OHetYS2ZaIAgn15Lva1xoCfUIQAvD_BwE

Whats a rash vest sorry ty for answer

A UV rated shirt. Usually SPF50+

Whats a rash vest sorry

Id def mention it next time your speaking to MIL. Just say your DD had a fab time with her but was uncomfortable with sunburn later that day as you think her sun cream was washed off in the padding pool. Buy a bottle of P20 that you put on an hour before going in the sun & it stays on all day, even in water. I used this on my kids & still topped up with factor 50 just to be on the safe side & they never once burnt.

We got caught out with my youngest Dd (8 years) on Saturday. We only went round to my Dm in the afternoon (youngest Dd had her ballet lesson in the morning). Dd had put on her sunscreen herself which she often does sometimes for school. In hindsight this was a mistake. Her swim shorts has become too small for her, so she was wearing a swimsuit with her rashie over the top. We put the paddling pool in the shade where she spent most of the afternoon. She did take her rashie off at some point. It wasn't for long though and as I said she spent most of the time in the shade. She obviously hadn't done her shoulder properly though as she ended up burned across them. We've always been really careful with the kids when it comes to suncream. I feel really guilty for slipping up.

Anyway, my point is mistakes can happen. You can't know for sure the suncream wasn't reapplied. If it was put on and she went straight into the paddling pool it could have washed off. I'm also not sure if you explicitly said to your MIL it needs reapplying or just that she had some in her bag? Grandparents are from a different era. Growing up in the 80s and 90s I never wore suncream in the UK. It was only worn for holidays abroad. It may not have even occurred to your MIL to reapply it.

I would be careful not to cause a big argument over it. I would mention it in a tactful way. Really sorry your little one got burnt though. X

I think you should take the photos. You really must have a chat with MIL, and you can show her the pictures if it's appropriate. Sunburn is dangerous and damages the skin permanently. To be honest though, even with suncream applied regularly she could still have got some sunburn if she's been out in the garden all day today. That's perhaps another thing that you could incorporate in the discussion.

... Mad dogs + Englishmen. 😎

Send the photo. Mil is irresponsible

She said she might be sickly later. And I pointed out after I burned I was not sickly. More freckles admittedly ( I was ginger and freckled as a kid)

It's a good lesson for your daughter to learn.
This happened to all of us as kids.

This ^
It would be your chance to open conversation and ask if MIL topped up suncream during the day. If she said it couldn’t be so bad/ it would pass / it happened etc etc - I would answer: actually it’s bad and would send her photos.
Your DH is right about not sending photos first but he is completely wrong about not discussing it. His logic about not upsetting his mum even if her actions harm DD is wrong in principle.
Apply the test : Would you tell your mum about it?
If you would - of course you should tell MIL as well.

For a minute I thought you had a home remedy for sunburns…with wet lettuce :)

Im a nan and id be mortified if my grandaughter got burnt she fair haired fair skinned and freckles .. all in one swimsuits .. pool under a shade hats .... should of been more care taken and hubby and yourself need to talk to her on her own definitely but not have a go.
I know its hard not be angry when your child is in pain and its preventable ...
Childs health is more Important than his mums uncomfortable feelings at being reminded of safety there's no excuse x

I've not rtft but for ease in the future, get p20 as it's once a day and waterproof.

You need to buy some burn gel and cover all the burnt areas! I would send the picture because MIL needs a wake up call and nothing hits home better than a visual picture! At the end of the day your child has recieved an injury while in her care. A burn is a burn, would hubby be so casual if daughter had tipped a pan of boiling water left in her reach on herself? Its not acceptable, sunburn damages the skin and makes it more prone to damage again in the future, too many people are too casual about the damage it does.

Then you were lucky, Severe sun burn can lead to fever, headache, dizziness, nausea and dehydration. Unpleasant for anyone, let alone a five year old!

Sun spots, Seborrheic Keratosis, skin cancer.
The Australians, who have horrendous skin cancer statistics, use the “Slip, Slop, Slap, Seek, Slide” mantra to protect their children.

Just because you haven’t had skin cancer proves nothing.

OK so my child managed to get sunburnt when in someone else's company. I specifically said to child and the other adult: you need to apply suncream to shoulders and neck before you get in the water, please.

This didn't happen and child came home sunburnt.

Similar to OP's DH, I didn't want to appear ungrateful that my child had had a playdate, and figured there was nothing to be gained at that point in time to mention it.

BUT I have vowed to never let my child with that adult again without ensuring full, and continued sun protection throughout the time my child is with them. I don't care if they find my overbearing, I have no tolerance for sunburn.