I'll get the salmon

I see where you are coming from, but it’s something I’ve ever thought of I usually eat out in Italian or Middle Eastern restaurants, or curry houses. So there’s loads of similarly based dishes with slight tweaks.

You’re probably getting the “together” vibe as that’s how they tend to order in movies.

Exactly! Sorry OP, but "I’ll get…" sounds rude and entitled to me. (Possibly it doesn’t come across like that if you are American?)

Edited to say: I see now that a number of others have made the same point!

I wanted to ask the same actually. Basically, if I were to say ‘I’ll get the salmon’ it would refer to me going shopping and volunteering to go to the fish mongers and buy the salmon rather than my OH buying it.

"I'll get the salmon" is what I'd say if me and dh were shopping and dividing the shopping list. So he'd go one way and I'd go t'other to get the salmon.

In restaurants I think the only time I've heard someone read out the whole item is if they have a query about it (eg can I swap mash for fries), otherwise you'd shorten it to the easiest understood way (eg if there was only salmon you'd say "please may I have the salmon", but if there were more salmon options you might say "... the salmon with fries," or "... the salmon in a wine sauce."

Aaaaw OP, if the first few posters had agreed with you it would’ve been OK. Unfortunately, as soon as one gives an opinion on MN they all follow suite. So whatever you had said it would’ve been wrong.

I live in the US and have only ever heard Americans say “I’ll have the… please” in restaurants. I’ve noticed that my younger male friends will say “Can I get” specifically when ordering in a drive through.

I’ve not spent time in the south though so if it’s used maybe it’s regional.

English is not my first language, but I’d never say that sentence..it sounds rude to me! 😅

Maybe because they want the fish and chips and and don’t want to risk another version turning up. You’re the waitress so you know the menu, I don’t want to read the whole thing to check there’s not a sneaky fish ciabatta somewhere on there.

If they order as it is named on the menu then they know they are getting the right thing.

May I please have…

Thats not what OP is talking about though, the equivalent would be to describe the new potatoes as 'buttered boiled new potatoes with parsley' or whatever long winded unnecessary description chef has decided to give it, or the 'thick cut chunky thrice fried chip'
You would just say, I'll have the salmon and new potatoes please.

“The salmon, please” usually works just fine

I thought exactly the same.

It comes across as very rude/wrong to my ears.

"I'll have the salmon please" or "i'd like the salmon please"

’Can I get…’ ugh, ugh, wince in any ordering situation

Both sound fine to me. More likely to used get for takeaways though as in "shall we get Maccas:? I'm British living in New Zealand.

My husband could be ordering a cheese sandwich and he’d still hold up the menu and point to it whilst reading out cheese sandwich from the menu. I judge hard.

That doesn’t make any sense.

It sounds like you think saying ‘I’ll get the salmon’ makes you sound assertive. It doesn’t.

I feel put together if I am wearing smart shoes with a nice handbag and red lipstick.

You mean because there’s usually going to be one salmon dish on the menu, you just say “I’ll have the salmon, please” and the server knows what you mean without you having to read it out as it’s written on the menu. I understand what you mean.

I agree with @WhyWouldSomeoneDoThat- it’s lipstick for me.

People do! Worked in hospitality for years.

They order "the hand battered fish and chips please" or "the in house made steak pie please"

I have no idea why as there is only one type of fish and chips or steak pie on the menu, I could understand it if there was (say) a salmon en croute and a salmon risotto, but otherwise I dont get it!

Agree! Saying 'I'll get the salmon' sounds like you are going somewhere to buy it!

Things that make me feel smoother and more together

Low key earrings and necklace
knowing where I’m going (eg planning my route before I set off)
being on time
remembering small details about other people’s lives and listening well rather than talking a lot about myself
having everything I need in my bag
dressing appropriately for the weather

I thought you meant you were going out to get the salmon. It’s more polite to say “the salmon for me please” or “I’ll have the salmon”. Weird

No idea how phrasing an order in a restaurant makes you feel “put together.”

I sometimes say “I’ll take the salmon” (I’m prepared to be thoroughly schooled in why I’m wrong and I really could not care less 😂).

Don’t worry OP, if we all spoke the exact same words the world would be a much more boring place. And your meaning would be perfectly clear to the person taking your order.