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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'll get the salmon

293 replies

wand3rer · 23/05/2026 15:55

Any tiny little habits that make you feel a bit more “put together”?

For example, in a restaurant I’ll just say “I’ll get the salmon” instead of reading out the whole dish name exactly as it’s written on the menu (“salmon with roasted potatoes and vegetables”).

It’s such a ridiculously small thing but it makes me feel smoother 😎😂

What else?

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:06

I’m not sure this counts but I set my coffee maker up the night before and then get up half an hour earlier than everyone else to enjoy two mug fulls while I browse the news/Mumsnet and do the crossword

also, always have a spare roll of dog poo bags in my bag so I never have that mortifying moment when the dog decides to do an indecent number of poos and I’ve run out.

Original poster
wand3rer · 23/05/2026 19:01

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 18:40

A now cancelled comedian made a joke that if he’s been in a car accident it’s unlikely those pants are going to be clean!

OP - by put together do you mean ‘feel like a grown up’ or feeling confident? I’m not sure what you mean in this context.

Show quote history

I no longer know what I was trying to say, and I’m very worried about being completely misunderstood again 😂

It’s not about confidence per se. It’s more about going through life with ease: ordering your food efficiently (without saying the full dish name), paying smoothly (without rummaging for your card in your bag), remembering small details about other people’s lives (as @PluckedFromThinAir said), etc.

The little things ❤️

OP posts:
unistress · 23/05/2026 18:59

@PleasantPedant Umm - I agree with you and literally quoted what you say you would say as the 'correct' form. I also said I don't like 'I'll get..' but it's fine in the USA and if people have picked it up from films etc so what? Fwiw, I was a waitress nearly 30 years ago and the odd person would say 'I'll get...' and it fucked me off as I knew I would be the one bloody getting it. The fact that people are still frothing about it now tells me it hasn't caught on all that much and perhaps never will, especially going by the number of weirdos on here who seem to think begging like a child and saying 'please may I have...' is the way to go. I don't recall people saying that when I waitressed but I think if they had, in my head I would have been, 'You can have what you bloody want as long as you pay, no need to beg.'

PleasantPedant · 23/05/2026 18:58

@anxiouslywaiting8 , you say 'the roast chicken for me please' or 'I'll have the chicken pie please'.

pestowithwalnuts · 23/05/2026 18:58

likelysuspect · 23/05/2026 15:58

Why would you read out the entire description?

Its the salmon

Or the chicken

Or the pie

Yes why would you... unless there were two chicken dishes..

newname284056 · 23/05/2026 18:57

I was always brought up to say “please may I have or I would like x please” to a waiter or waitress.

but feel free to sound loud and American as you think you sound more “ put together”

wavestofind · 23/05/2026 18:56

What's the consensus then? What is the perfect contemporary polite but not contrived British way to order that salmon?

anxiouslywaiting8 · 23/05/2026 18:54

What if there are multiple salmon/chicken/etc dishes

PleasantPedant · 23/05/2026 18:53

It's called being polite, @unistress . I'd say 'The salmon, please'. 'Could I have the salmon please' or 'I'd like the salmon, please.' I wouldn't say 'I'll get the salmon' because it sounds like I'm about to fetch it.

ClaredeBear · 23/05/2026 18:52

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 23/05/2026 17:02

Taking the time to properly coordinate an outfit when there is no particular event or occasion.
Which probably makes me sound like an absolute mess. 😅

But when I have time and energy to truly consider all outfit options, coordinate bag, shoes, hairstyle etc. when I’m not going to a particular event? Simply for running errands, going shopping, meeting an old friend?
It’s such a lovely and “put together” feeling.

Yes!! This!

wavestofind · 23/05/2026 18:52

Bellyblueboy · 23/05/2026 18:37

May I have the salmon please. That indicates not only good manners, but also basic grammar.

what makes me feel put together is always having tissues and an umbrella in my handbags always displaying basic manners in public.

I'll add one more thought to the 'may I have' discussion.

I'm not a school girl asking permission from a parent or teacher, 'may' can sound both submissive and a bit performative. As in I know I’m allowed but I’m showing everyone that I have the manners and etiquette to phrase it this way. The oddness is that I am the customer and know that I may, so feels contrived.
That can come across as mildly patronising rather than genuinely polite.

Disclaimer, people naturally speak however they’re used to, and that’s completely fine. English is a fascinating language so many different ways of saying the same thing, often due to old fashioned class markers. Dinner, supper or tea anyone?

unistress · 23/05/2026 18:47

I haven't read very far so excuse me if this has been dealt with, but what on earth is all this 'please may I have?' nonsense? You're an adult ordering food in a restaurant, not Oliver Twist. 'Can I have...please,' or just, 'The salmon, please,' is far preferable to either 'get' or begging.

nomas · 23/05/2026 18:44

wand3rer · 23/05/2026 18:24

@Swiftie1878

I didn't include it in my post as I always use 'please'. I also didn’t mention all the other things I would have done in both cases: making eye contact, politely confirming that we were ready to order when the waiter or waitress asked, tipping, etc. 😁

Sure you do.

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 23/05/2026 18:42

Someone used to know would say, ‘could I get the xyz?’

I found it rude

AmyDudley · 23/05/2026 18:42

Spookyspaghetti · 23/05/2026 16:27

It sounds to me like she is offering to buy a round of salmon for the restaurant 😆

Show quote history

Or is a grizzly bear.

Mumofyellows · 23/05/2026 18:41

“Please may/can I have the Salmon” is what I would say, “get” seems American and nonsensical because surely then you would just go and get it yourself and not wait for your waiter to bring it!

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 18:40

Fruhstuck · 23/05/2026 18:39

Don’t forget "clean knickers in case you’re in an accident and get taken to hospital!" (as my great-grandma used to say)…

Show quote history

A now cancelled comedian made a joke that if he’s been in a car accident it’s unlikely those pants are going to be clean!

OP - by put together do you mean ‘feel like a grown up’ or feeling confident? I’m not sure what you mean in this context.

Dragonflyspeeding · 23/05/2026 18:39

It sounds rude to me tbh.
By saying 'put together' do you mean you are trying to sound polished?

'I'll get' sounds American. Its the same vein as when some try to sound well travelled by saying 'we are doing London/Paris/Amsterdam this summer'. I'm often tempted to ask what exactly are they planning to do to the city in question!

Fruhstuck · 23/05/2026 18:39

Bellyblueboy · 23/05/2026 18:37

May I have the salmon please. That indicates not only good manners, but also basic grammar.

what makes me feel put together is always having tissues and an umbrella in my handbags always displaying basic manners in public.

Don’t forget "clean knickers in case you’re in an accident and get taken to hospital!" (as my great-grandma used to say)…

Original poster
wand3rer · 23/05/2026 18:39

beeble347 · 23/05/2026 18:37

These comments 😂 you monster, OP!

😂

OP posts:
beeble347 · 23/05/2026 18:37

These comments 😂 you monster, OP!

Bellyblueboy · 23/05/2026 18:37

May I have the salmon please. That indicates not only good manners, but also basic grammar.

what makes me feel put together is always having tissues and an umbrella in my handbags always displaying basic manners in public.

JudgeJ · 23/05/2026 18:26

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/05/2026 15:57

Saying 'I'd like the salmon, please'.

I'll get the salmon sounds like I'll nip down to Waitrose for the salmon.

Frumpitydoo · 23/05/2026 18:26

Get? Ew!

Whoopiedooo · 23/05/2026 18:25

I'll get the salmon (from the fridge so we can cook it)
Could I have the salmon please (from the menu)

You only mention the other things if they are an option.

Could I have salmon with... chips and seasonal vegetables please (because I don't want the rice and mushrooms option).