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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'll get the salmon

293 replies

wand3rer · 23/05/2026 15:55

Any tiny little habits that make you feel a bit more “put together”?

For example, in a restaurant I’ll just say “I’ll get the salmon” instead of reading out the whole dish name exactly as it’s written on the menu (“salmon with roasted potatoes and vegetables”).

It’s such a ridiculously small thing but it makes me feel smoother 😎😂

What else?

OP posts:
Uricon2 · 23/05/2026 20:13

"I'll have the salmon please/the salmon please (with xyz side dishes) " is fine. If you want to pass as British. Your phraseology is US, but if you're American, it would be fine.

ETA the British are not renowed for being "smooth and polished", James Bond is a fictional character. We are more known for mooning at the French and waving our draw fingers, ala the archers at Agincourt.

TheHateIsNotGood · 23/05/2026 20:06

Now if it was an eaterie renowned for its salmon with some fishing rights and it was within season. I'd be giving Modom and @LadyMacbethWasFierce and their crew some galoshes and rods and pointing them in the direction of the river.

Hopefully their tissues and invitations won't get too waterlogged.

ThreadGuardDog · 23/05/2026 20:06

sanityisamyth · 23/05/2026 20:02

I’ll get?

Please may I have the …

Nine pages of this. I think OP gets it.

Warmlight1 · 23/05/2026 20:03

wand3rer · 23/05/2026 19:43

@BeardySchnauzer @ClaredeBear

Yes, setting your coffee maker up the night before, having a spare roll of dog‑poo bags, and starting a better skincare routine all count!

Thanks for putting my post back on track ❤️

OP have you read the post on the strangest things you have ever been told off for at work?
You might relate !

sanityisamyth · 23/05/2026 20:02

I’ll get?

Please may I have the …

midlifeattheoasis · 23/05/2026 20:00

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/05/2026 15:57

Saying 'I'd like the salmon, please'.

Exactly!!

Original poster
wand3rer · 23/05/2026 19:58

@LadyMacbethWasFierce

I particularly like the one about the invitation. That’s exactly the kind of tip or habit I’m after! ❤️

"My own little habits to seem a bit more smooth and polished (when I used to be a confident outgoing person) were never to have the appointment letter or invitation whatever it was in my hand as I arrived somewhere. I obviously always had it in my bag if necessary. But I would never arrive somewhere clutching the letter."

OP posts:
TheHateIsNotGood · 23/05/2026 19:55

'May I have; is peak UK politeness because it just could be that the Salmon might be unavailable.

It gives the 'staff' an opportunity to describe the salmon as being unavailable purely because it is - without offending Modom, should she take offence at the salmon not being available. Because there isn't any.

Original poster
wand3rer · 23/05/2026 19:47

@wavestofind

I can’t really think of many. That’s why I’m asking 😂

A lot of it seems to be about preparedness or making life easier by having a routine in place. It could be as simple as carrying a couple of tissues in your bag or scheduling your boiler maintenance.

But I’m also interested in the ones like the example I gave (efficient ordering and paying in a restaurant), because those require no prep. It’s just somehow smooth

OP posts:
BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:46

RandomQuestioner · 23/05/2026 19:44

😆 that could be me - I didn’t read the whole thread! 🙈.

Nevermind - as long as the OP gets the message, hey?! 😂

Show quote history

I don’t think OP will step foot in a restaurant again!!!

I’ve thought of another - getting my outfit out the night before. It gives me the time to put a little thought into it and make sure what I want to wear is clean so there’s no panic in the morning!!

RandomQuestioner · 23/05/2026 19:44

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:34

🤣 the smuggery of realising that 200 posts in your answer to the first post will be groundbreaking

Show quote history

😆 that could be me - I didn’t read the whole thread! 🙈.

Nevermind - as long as the OP gets the message, hey?! 😂

Original poster
wand3rer · 23/05/2026 19:43

@BeardySchnauzer @ClaredeBear

Yes, setting your coffee maker up the night before, having a spare roll of dog‑poo bags, and starting a better skincare routine all count!

Thanks for putting my post back on track ❤️

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasFierce · 23/05/2026 19:41

The OP started an interesting thread that has been completely detailrd by comments about “get” v “have”.

For what it’s worth I’d say “I’ll have the salmon please.”

And I agree that comes across as a bit more polished than reading out the whole description. Or pointing to it on the menu as you read.

My own little habits to seem a bit more smooth and polished (when I used to be a confident outgoing person) were never to have the appointment letter or invitation whatever it was in my hand as I arrived somewhere. I obviously always had it in my bag if necessary. But I would never arrive somewhere clutching the letter.

I am never, ever, late.

I have compartments in my (not too large) bag so I don’t have to fumble for things. Not fumbly, not hesitant, not late. Those things really made a difference.

I always had a make up bag of emergency supplies with me (plasters, tissues, paracetamol,

The biggest thing I think was being pleasant, smiley, polite yet quietly assertive.

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:34

wavestofind · 23/05/2026 19:32

I know one, selecting 'Read all' on a long thread, makes me feel put together 😂

🤣 the smuggery of realising that 200 posts in your answer to the first post will be groundbreaking

wavestofind · 23/05/2026 19:32

I know one, selecting 'Read all' on a long thread, makes me feel put together 😂

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:29

I think the OP gets it now

RandomQuestioner · 23/05/2026 19:27

wand3rer · 23/05/2026 15:55

Any tiny little habits that make you feel a bit more “put together”?

For example, in a restaurant I’ll just say “I’ll get the salmon” instead of reading out the whole dish name exactly as it’s written on the menu (“salmon with roasted potatoes and vegetables”).

It’s such a ridiculously small thing but it makes me feel smoother 😎😂

What else?

“I’ll get” sounds very American. Are you American?

”I’d like the salmon, please” would be more appropriate, I think.

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:24

@wavestofind poo bags in your handbag. Instantly super organised. You don’t even need a dog. When you’re walking along and you see the panicked face of a dog walker who ran out you can smugly offer one up

Bellyblueboy · 23/05/2026 19:23

unistress · 23/05/2026 18:59

@PleasantPedant Umm - I agree with you and literally quoted what you say you would say as the 'correct' form. I also said I don't like 'I'll get..' but it's fine in the USA and if people have picked it up from films etc so what? Fwiw, I was a waitress nearly 30 years ago and the odd person would say 'I'll get...' and it fucked me off as I knew I would be the one bloody getting it. The fact that people are still frothing about it now tells me it hasn't caught on all that much and perhaps never will, especially going by the number of weirdos on here who seem to think begging like a child and saying 'please may I have...' is the way to go. I don't recall people saying that when I waitressed but I think if they had, in my head I would have been, 'You can have what you bloody want as long as you pay, no need to beg.'

This is really interesting that you think asking for something by saying ‘may I have’ is begging like a child.

I have a varied social circle - and the ones who standout to me are the ones who are rude to staff in restaurants - who never say please. I have never given a second thought to the ones who say may I have (and a lot do).

You clearly view things very differently - ordering food about asserting control - putting yourself in a dominant position. I don’t see the need - I don’t feel I am begging like a child when I ask a waiter for something on the menu. But really, really interesting viewpoint.

wavestofind · 23/05/2026 19:22

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:06

I’m not sure this counts but I set my coffee maker up the night before and then get up half an hour earlier than everyone else to enjoy two mug fulls while I browse the news/Mumsnet and do the crossword

also, always have a spare roll of dog poo bags in my bag so I never have that mortifying moment when the dog decides to do an indecent number of poos and I’ve run out.

This not only counts but is perfection.

Poor OP. The idea for the thread is great.

Having nit picked about 'get', 'may I' and all that, I'll embarrass myself by not being able to think of anything that makes me feel 'put together' or on top of things. Probably because that is the opposite to how I'm feeling right now.

@wand3rer tell us more things that make you feel like that and let's get this thread back on track.

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:14

Well there’s a good question - when we order from deliveroo (other rip off delivery companies are available) we say ‘shall we order a take away?’ But we are obviously not going to the restaurant to take it away. Calling it a food delivery makes it sound like the groceries.

so what is the answer!

ilovepixie · 23/05/2026 19:13

Why would you say ‘get’ the salmon. It’s a bit rude.

HoppityBun · 23/05/2026 19:12

MyAutumnCrow · 23/05/2026 16:17

No no noooo, OP.

It's 'can I get the salmon with a coke to go?'

Show quote history

To go where? To go is American. In the UK it’s a take away.

HoppityBun · 23/05/2026 19:10

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 23/05/2026 16:09

You know, I thought being "put together" was something I could achieve with dressing smartly and feeling confident. But now I see that sneering at and condescending to other posters on Mumsnet is the way to go.

Responders on this thread have inspired me. Thank you all.

Put together is IKEA and allen keys.

ClaredeBear · 23/05/2026 19:08

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 19:06

I’m not sure this counts but I set my coffee maker up the night before and then get up half an hour earlier than everyone else to enjoy two mug fulls while I browse the news/Mumsnet and do the crossword

also, always have a spare roll of dog poo bags in my bag so I never have that mortifying moment when the dog decides to do an indecent number of poos and I’ve run out.

This counts.

I’ve started a much better skin care routine recently. It’s not rocket science and I don’t stick rigidly to it, but it makes me feel I’m winning at life.