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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To see benefits as a safety net, not handouts?

411 replies

ForGreyStork · 23/05/2026 14:23

It’s the way benefits are talked about. To me, they’re part of a social security system -a safety net that people may need at different points in life, rather than “gifts” or handouts.
I also wonder whether increasing conditions and restrictions risk undermining that safety net over time.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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6
TurnAngerIntoHope · 24/05/2026 17:35

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 16:59

Good luck doing that in the NHS.

Edited

Good luck doing that in a lot of jobs. I’d get laughed at if I tried to negotiate higher pay with my employer. They pay what they pay for people doing my role across the business, no room for negotiating. If I don’t like it, I have the option of leaving to do the role elsewhere, probably taking less pay as my employer actually pays slightly above what most other employers pay for what I do, and they’ll just get someone else in to fill my position no bother.

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 17:34

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:24

Council housing.

But of course! 💡The readily available, plentiful, not-at-all-sold-off-to-private-owners, council housing! Why didn’t I think of that?! 😂

Next time you’re stuck for reading matter, might I suggest you try and dig out a tome or two about the Thatcher years? Then you might glean a smattering of insight as to why this country is in the state it’s in.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 24/05/2026 17:34

millymollymoomoo · 23/05/2026 14:44

@inmyhair thats actually not the basic principle of the introduction of welfare state and should not be what benefits are for

they should be below minimum wage and short term. So working should always pay more. None of this choosing 16 hours and expecting state to top you up. None of the keep having children you can’t afford and expect more child benefits, housing eyc

total overhaul needed and back to basic principle of if you want something go work for it

I have a friend who had a stroke in her 30's, and is brain damaged
... cant write, read, add, subtract and walks with a bad lump ... formerly ran a business. She will never work again. Do you think she should receive below minimum wage?

ForWittyTealOP · 24/05/2026 17:32

Kirbert2 · 24/05/2026 17:27

It's also the fact that the carer would obviously have to be paid. There's no way I'd be able to earn enough for that. 😂

Pay, NI, pension contributions, sick pay, holiday pay, maternity/paternity leave... It's almost like people think they've come up with a perfect solution without ever wondering why people aren't already doing that very thing!

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:32

vanillasugar2 · 24/05/2026 17:30

Just to point out that not everyone on NMW gets UC. People seem to think they do

Yep. If you are a single person with no caring responsibilities, no kids, or no disabilites.. you are literally told to earn more and do more hours... even if you can't pay your rent.

vanillasugar2 · 24/05/2026 17:30

Just to point out that not everyone on NMW gets UC. People seem to think they do

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:28

Kirbert2 · 24/05/2026 17:27

It's also the fact that the carer would obviously have to be paid. There's no way I'd be able to earn enough for that. 😂

If you were paid enough to live to look after your own disabled child, then people would be in uproar... yet they are still in uproar for you getting paid a pittance to do the same.

Kirbert2 · 24/05/2026 17:27

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:16

The people suggesting that have no idea.
Carers save the nation a ton of money. I find it weird that by you caring for your own child, which will be a good thing for them... is considered wrong because you are depriving someone of a job somewhere down the line.

Yet in other threads, people are berated for not caring for their elderly parents.

It's also the fact that the carer would obviously have to be paid. There's no way I'd be able to earn enough for that. 😂

ForWittyTealOP · 24/05/2026 17:26

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:03

I would argue that MH/ND is harder to have accommodation for in the workplace.
A ramp, adjusted desk and apps etc is easier to accommodate for.

How do you accommodate for someone with behavioural or mood issues?

Ha! I can tell you that from personal experience! "Oh, you're autistic? What does that mean?" Then silence on the subject forever more.

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:25

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:24

Council housing.

Yes, because that is readily available 🙄

ForWittyTealOP · 24/05/2026 17:25

Kirbert2 · 24/05/2026 16:58

I've also lost count of how many times I've been told to just hire a professional carer for my disabled son so I can work. A person even helpfully told me just the other day how wonderful it would be because it would mean someone else gaining employment too.

Absolutely clueless.

Oh I was once told I could be an unpaid carer during the day and pick up paid work during the night. 🤣

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:24

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 17:19

Literally how do you expect them to exist, then?

Council housing.

ForWittyTealOP · 24/05/2026 17:23

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 16:58

Then they need to negotiate a higher wage with their employers rather than relying on a blanket high NMW which actively dissuades employers from hiring at entry level in the first place.

That's unrealistic. Care workers aren't going to be able to do that for one, nor are shift workers who often can't afford to live anywhere near their work. And why shouldn't minimum wage cover transport costs? It's an essential.

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:22

RubyPowderPuff · 24/05/2026 17:20

There a plenty of jobs people will be unable to do do due to their disability. And that's fine we need to acknowledge this and move on.
But equally there are plenty of jobs that someone who is in a wheelchair or has social anxiety could do. We need to shift the focus onto these types of jobs. Yes, we will push people out of their comfort zone, so what?

The issues is employers taking those people on.
A massive barrier to work for disabled people is not their disability... it is employers willing to take them on despite their disability.
But it is easier to blame disabled people.

RubyPowderPuff · 24/05/2026 17:20

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 16:32

I totally agree with most of these suggestions, but just wanted to point something out re people talking about what they can't do. Frequently they aren't being defeatist or making excuses, but are pointing out the genuine difficulties lots of people face, in the hope certain realities might start to percolate through to the hard of thinking (I don't mean you, I'm speaking generally about how these threads tend to go.)

No one is saying it's impossible for, say, disabled people to get a job, but there's a huge number of people on MN who seem extremely ignorant of the limitations some disabled people face. A lot of morons people post along the lines of 'But work will make you feel better! A few weeks of walking up three flights of stairs in an office with no wheelchair access, and you won't even need your wheelchair any more! You're just being negative! It's all a matter of mindset! You just don't want to work because you're rolling in it on PIP [!!] and get your nails done every Thursday!' OK, I've exaggerated somewhat there for dramatic effect, but you get my general point - it's important to challenge the more ignorant/clueless narratives, and in that context saying certain things aren't possible isn't negativity, it's realism.

Similarly when people are struggling to find work for genuine reasons, there's so much 'There are plenty of jobs, there must be because just the other day my local cafe was advertising for someone to clear the tables', 'They're not trying hard enough, otherwise they'd have found a job by now' (according to some recent figures many job seekers in the UK send out 50 to 100 applications before they finally strike it lucky, employers are receiving 20–50+ applications on average for each vacancy they advertise, and graduate roles can attract 140+ applicants each), 'In my day you went into every business in town with a CV until someone agreed to hire you', 'They can just retrain' (sometimes true, but takes time), and in one memorable example last weekend, 'Why don't they just set up a cleaning company, they'd be raking it in overnight and if anyone disagrees with me they're just not go-getting enough!'

The sheer ignorance and prejudice some people post on MN (again I don't mean you) needs challenging, and some so-called excuses are actually valid reasons. When people point that out, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are being negative or defeatist although I get how it could seem that way.

There a plenty of jobs people will be unable to do do due to their disability. And that's fine we need to acknowledge this and move on.
But equally there are plenty of jobs that someone who is in a wheelchair or has social anxiety could do. We need to shift the focus onto these types of jobs. Yes, we will push people out of their comfort zone, so what?

Pedallleur · 24/05/2026 17:19

Boomer55 · 23/05/2026 14:32

It’s all got out of hand, and needs reform.

And I'm sure Reform will shout about what they intend to do (but won't). They'll be grifting themselves senseless .

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 17:19

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:10

It’s literally the second highest in Europe (after Luxembourg, a far wealthier country). Yes I think it’s high. And it’s insane that people can also get benefits to top it up, much of which goes straight into the pockets of landlords.

Literally how do you expect them to exist, then?

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 17:17

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 16:43

I live rurally thanks. NMW should be just high enough to pay for the absolute necessities, same as benefits. And that does not include a car. Some people do of course need a car for their job but that is between them and their employer, not something that should factor in when setting minimum wage.

You think care companies provide their staff with cars? Oh my. 😂

And if you live rurally it’s nothing short of baffling that you think everyone should be able to get to work without a car. 🤷‍♀️

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:16

Kirbert2 · 24/05/2026 16:58

I've also lost count of how many times I've been told to just hire a professional carer for my disabled son so I can work. A person even helpfully told me just the other day how wonderful it would be because it would mean someone else gaining employment too.

Absolutely clueless.

The people suggesting that have no idea.
Carers save the nation a ton of money. I find it weird that by you caring for your own child, which will be a good thing for them... is considered wrong because you are depriving someone of a job somewhere down the line.

Yet in other threads, people are berated for not caring for their elderly parents.

AlcoholicAntibiotic · 24/05/2026 17:13

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:10

It’s literally the second highest in Europe (after Luxembourg, a far wealthier country). Yes I think it’s high. And it’s insane that people can also get benefits to top it up, much of which goes straight into the pockets of landlords.

So that’s an argument to reduce the costs of housing, not an argument to reduce NMW.

x2boys · 24/05/2026 17:12

And often NMW jobs are shift work and unsocial hours so even if you dont live rural and there are good transport links , thats not helpful jf you are finishing work at 11pm like my DH does every other week.

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:12

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:10

It’s literally the second highest in Europe (after Luxembourg, a far wealthier country). Yes I think it’s high. And it’s insane that people can also get benefits to top it up, much of which goes straight into the pockets of landlords.

What do you suggest? That it is cut?
If people get UC top ups to afford rent, then how it is considered too high?

The issue is not with the people claiming benefits... it is who they pay their rent to.

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 17:10

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 17:03

High? You think the NMW is high?

I take you’re aware that some on the NMW need to claim UC to make ends meet?

It’s literally the second highest in Europe (after Luxembourg, a far wealthier country). Yes I think it’s high. And it’s insane that people can also get benefits to top it up, much of which goes straight into the pockets of landlords.

XenoBitch · 24/05/2026 17:04

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 24/05/2026 17:02

Below NMW? So you want to push children of benefits recipients further into poverty? Let's bring back the workhouse, don't want these greedy children getting used to the "gifts".

@millymollymoomoo is one of those people who comments on benefits that has no clue, because the 16 hour thing has not been a thing for a very long time.

thatsgotit · 24/05/2026 17:03

FernandoSor · 24/05/2026 16:58

Then they need to negotiate a higher wage with their employers rather than relying on a blanket high NMW which actively dissuades employers from hiring at entry level in the first place.

High? You think the NMW is high?

I take you’re aware that some on the NMW need to claim UC to make ends meet?