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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To see benefits as a safety net, not handouts?

411 replies

ForGreyStork · 23/05/2026 14:23

It’s the way benefits are talked about. To me, they’re part of a social security system -a safety net that people may need at different points in life, rather than “gifts” or handouts.
I also wonder whether increasing conditions and restrictions risk undermining that safety net over time.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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6
lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 31/05/2026 20:59

Seymour5 · 30/05/2026 06:22

Her situation is awful. But she is not representative of the majority of those coming across the channel from France. I don’t see how Europe, not just the UK, can continue to support so many people.

I didn't say she was representative, but things like this happen on a daily basis. It's such a fat cry from what you read in the DM.

youalright · 30/05/2026 06:30

Allonthesametrain · 29/05/2026 22:01

It used to be a safety net and it was shameful for anyone to go and 'beg' for welfare. To work was pride, providing for your family and it really was a case parents would do anything to make ends meet, including several jobs all hours, lodgers in an already overcrowded house.

Gradually it's become an entitlement for generations) for some and an alternative to planning ahead having kids because you can claim and don't need to look for work until child is 3, so meanwhile have another and another...

It is generally, at a young age, people from certain demographics as area and religious backgrounds. The birth rate is dropping in other demographic areas but staying the same or increasing amongst the generation cycle of benefits and cultures who prefer larger families.

But the fact its gone from 16 to 3 is already showing great improvement. Benefits aren't just easy to claim and sit on lile they use to be. The majority of people on long term Benefits now are disabled or carers

Seymour5 · 30/05/2026 06:22

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 21:44

She arrived in the country with 3 DC, her husband was not allowed to live with her in the same house as he had a separate asylum claim so was housed in a hotel for men type of thing. If he didn't go 'home' every night the hotel would inform the home office and it would jeopardize his accomodation and therefore claim. The baby was not planned as she told me as such, but didn't want a termination. She is extremely traumatized by everything of course, the LA are saying there's nothing they can do as they've given her emergency hotel accommodation so they have done their job. The DM and such paint such a privileged position of these asylum seekers, I literally have secondary trauma from the things I've seen.

Her situation is awful. But she is not representative of the majority of those coming across the channel from France. I don’t see how Europe, not just the UK, can continue to support so many people.

Plishplosh · 29/05/2026 22:43

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 21:44

She arrived in the country with 3 DC, her husband was not allowed to live with her in the same house as he had a separate asylum claim so was housed in a hotel for men type of thing. If he didn't go 'home' every night the hotel would inform the home office and it would jeopardize his accomodation and therefore claim. The baby was not planned as she told me as such, but didn't want a termination. She is extremely traumatized by everything of course, the LA are saying there's nothing they can do as they've given her emergency hotel accommodation so they have done their job. The DM and such paint such a privileged position of these asylum seekers, I literally have secondary trauma from the things I've seen.

Aw that all sounds horrific and difficult . I wish her and her family all the best.

Claiming refugee status is not an enviable position to be in at all.

Allonthesametrain · 29/05/2026 22:01

It used to be a safety net and it was shameful for anyone to go and 'beg' for welfare. To work was pride, providing for your family and it really was a case parents would do anything to make ends meet, including several jobs all hours, lodgers in an already overcrowded house.

Gradually it's become an entitlement for generations) for some and an alternative to planning ahead having kids because you can claim and don't need to look for work until child is 3, so meanwhile have another and another...

It is generally, at a young age, people from certain demographics as area and religious backgrounds. The birth rate is dropping in other demographic areas but staying the same or increasing amongst the generation cycle of benefits and cultures who prefer larger families.

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 21:50

Another point in case: one mother with 5 DC (all born before she came here) had been moved about 7 times in two years. Each time she was literally given 24 hours notice, the children had been in four schools in 1.5 years. When i.met her she had been.moved to an emergency hotel beside an airport. She had very little money, no cooking facilities and was miles away from everywhere with no car. She was expected to feed herself and the DC from the M&S shop in the airport, which was a fortune. Poor woman ended up in a psychiatric hospital and the DC went into care. I often wonder about her 💔

SillydizzyGirl · 29/05/2026 21:47

Plishplosh · 29/05/2026 21:40

I agree! neither scenario is great but I fear those are the ways we are heading.

Edited

Me too. I wish I had a practical answer but I simply don't and looking at these types of threads it's obvious no one has a way to resolve the issue cleanly.

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 21:44

Plishplosh · 29/05/2026 21:24

That’s awful i feel bad for her, i wonder if she was pressurised to have that last kid or all of them.

Because it seems incredibly unwise for them to have had a string of kids in close succession while her refugee claim is being processed.

Where is the father?

btw I am genuinely curious about this case but I do agree there’s a lot of myths designed to demonise refugees!

She arrived in the country with 3 DC, her husband was not allowed to live with her in the same house as he had a separate asylum claim so was housed in a hotel for men type of thing. If he didn't go 'home' every night the hotel would inform the home office and it would jeopardize his accomodation and therefore claim. The baby was not planned as she told me as such, but didn't want a termination. She is extremely traumatized by everything of course, the LA are saying there's nothing they can do as they've given her emergency hotel accommodation so they have done their job. The DM and such paint such a privileged position of these asylum seekers, I literally have secondary trauma from the things I've seen.

Plishplosh · 29/05/2026 21:40

SillydizzyGirl · 29/05/2026 20:57

It's a difficult problem and one I don't think has a simple,nice or easy solution.

The pro benefits crowd want a system that's simply not sustainable but equally the anti benefits crowd are naive if they think simply cutting off funds will make people suddenly get a job.

I fear that any attempts to sort the issue are going to lead to a horrible outcome no matter what either bankrupting the country or leading to levels of cruelty that history won't look fondly on.

I agree! neither scenario is great but I fear those are the ways we are heading.

Plishplosh · 29/05/2026 21:35

sashh · 24/05/2026 12:16

They are forever tinkering with the benefits system but they never look at what they could do to help people.

I'm disabled and I have worked on and off since I became disabled.

The 16 hours and NMW is what they seem to be obsessed with.

At one time I could not get tax credits because I was working part time, but because I received about £20.00 per hour I wasn't eligible. Had I been on NMW I could have claimed. My weekly income was the same as if I was on NMW for 16 hours.

I did supply teaching and that made things difficult, whilst I was claiming benefits my rent was paid via housing benefit, but the day I started work that stopped, even though I would not be paid for a month. There was no slack in the system.

I know if you are working then you pay your rent, council tax, etc but a loan for a month would have made such a big difference to me. I almost lost my home due to moving from HB to work and back again.

Benefits should actually be higher, that is one thing they could do to help people not be scared to move off them.

You’re right that they don’t care about the gap in between starting your first job after a stint on benefits. They also don’t care if you can’t afford to buy interview clothes or travel for interviews.

I remember when I was 18 I had a few months on JSA back when you were allowed to work up to 16 hours I think. I declared how many hours I worked via this agency I was with and they cut my benefit completely which was wrong and I had to appeal .

Years later I had tax credits and I called to update my workplace - same wage different job - and due to some mishap they ended my tax credit claim, claiming I earned too much.
I had to apply all over again and it was so much hassle I just left it. Especially as I was going back to uni within 7 months or so.

When they are paying people so little, any administrative mishap /people being jobsworth can have a terrible impact. For some people it’s just not worth the hassle and to keep things simple and the money coming in uninterrupted they’d rather not attempt to move off it.

I hear in Germany and some European countries some benefits are tied to wages, so if you were working previously and getting say 3K a month they’d pay you 80% of that. From what I understand the amounts are higher but more time limited. For those non-disabled I believe this makes sense.

I’d rather give people a decent amount for 6-12 months than have people just sit on a pittance for a lifetime. It’s not good for them and the economy to be long term employed like that.

Because recently I looked online and as a single adult with no dependents I’d only be entitled to getting around £500 a month and I think that’s disgusting considering I’ve worked for two decades. If I was renting I’d get another £600 more but you don’t get anything extra if you have a mortgage. And even then most rents in my area are way above £600.

Plishplosh · 29/05/2026 21:24

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 12:18

Yes to all of this. There is a myth that people come off the boats and into a council house. I'm currently supporting a family where the woman had a very premature baby 10 days ago via C/S, she has 3 other young DC, she was granted refugee status recently and last week was given three days to leave her property. They obviously couldn't find anywhere and in her post operative state shouldn't have been moving anyway. She is now living in a car near to the hospital her baby is in as the only emergency hotel they can offer is 150 miles away. The doctors have written letters of support to say she is not medically fit to be living apart from the baby, but it has been to no avail. This sort of thing is happening constantly.

That’s awful i feel bad for her, i wonder if she was pressurised to have that last kid or all of them.

Because it seems incredibly unwise for them to have had a string of kids in close succession while her refugee claim is being processed.

Where is the father?

btw I am genuinely curious about this case but I do agree there’s a lot of myths designed to demonise refugees!

SillydizzyGirl · 29/05/2026 20:57

It's a difficult problem and one I don't think has a simple,nice or easy solution.

The pro benefits crowd want a system that's simply not sustainable but equally the anti benefits crowd are naive if they think simply cutting off funds will make people suddenly get a job.

I fear that any attempts to sort the issue are going to lead to a horrible outcome no matter what either bankrupting the country or leading to levels of cruelty that history won't look fondly on.

Parcelpass · 29/05/2026 20:50

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 12:18

Yes to all of this. There is a myth that people come off the boats and into a council house. I'm currently supporting a family where the woman had a very premature baby 10 days ago via C/S, she has 3 other young DC, she was granted refugee status recently and last week was given three days to leave her property. They obviously couldn't find anywhere and in her post operative state shouldn't have been moving anyway. She is now living in a car near to the hospital her baby is in as the only emergency hotel they can offer is 150 miles away. The doctors have written letters of support to say she is not medically fit to be living apart from the baby, but it has been to no avail. This sort of thing is happening constantly.

As terrible as it sounds. Why go on to have the 4th child if she has 3 young children already?. I dont know what the ansew is but we simply dont have the resources here such as enough school places, dentists the list goes on.

thatsgotit · 29/05/2026 19:10

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 12:18

Yes to all of this. There is a myth that people come off the boats and into a council house. I'm currently supporting a family where the woman had a very premature baby 10 days ago via C/S, she has 3 other young DC, she was granted refugee status recently and last week was given three days to leave her property. They obviously couldn't find anywhere and in her post operative state shouldn't have been moving anyway. She is now living in a car near to the hospital her baby is in as the only emergency hotel they can offer is 150 miles away. The doctors have written letters of support to say she is not medically fit to be living apart from the baby, but it has been to no avail. This sort of thing is happening constantly.

That's terrible, and sadly doesn't surprise me. I can't fathom how the GB News crowd can bring themselves not to care about things like that.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/05/2026 16:55

Rollercoaster1920 · 29/05/2026 14:21

Whilst it does enable parents to work - it is still the state taking tax to spend on a particular group. A form of benefits that is not an essential safety net.

Well some people are going to miss out. Sounds a bit like "I can't have it so they shouldn't either".

Rollercoaster1920 · 29/05/2026 14:21

Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/05/2026 10:20

I don't see the problem with the childcare hours? It encourages parents or women to work.

Whilst it does enable parents to work - it is still the state taking tax to spend on a particular group. A form of benefits that is not an essential safety net.

lavenderscenteddrawerliners · 29/05/2026 12:18

ForWittyTealOP · 25/05/2026 17:49

So when people come to the UK as asylum seekers, they go through a long process, during which time they're given an allowance of £49.28 per person per week (reduced to £9.95 if they're housed somewhere food is provided, even if that food is inedible). If they're granted leave to remain they will be given 28 days notice to leave their home office accommodation. In practice, this is often much less because of the time it takes to receive the notice. They will then have to apply for Universal Credit (they won't have been allowed to work while waiting for their case to be heard) and look for private sector rented accommodation. They'll need to find a month's advance rent and deposit. Numbers of homeless migrants have shot up over recent years as the notice period for Home Office accommodation reduced.
In reality, there are no "free houses" for refugees. They have to navigate the same Kafkaesque system as other renters while struggling with language barriers, lack of familiarity with UK systems, UC expecting them to start looking for work instantly, oh and obviously all the trauma involved with being a refugee. Obviously legal aid is available (limited appointments with lawyers who don't know you and only have a short time to familiarise themselves with your case) because what would happen otherwise?

Yes this country is broken. It must be, to treat the vulnerable and destitute as it does.

BBC News - Number of homeless refugees in England soars, BBC has found - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy9y3n43192o?app-referrer=deep-link

Yes to all of this. There is a myth that people come off the boats and into a council house. I'm currently supporting a family where the woman had a very premature baby 10 days ago via C/S, she has 3 other young DC, she was granted refugee status recently and last week was given three days to leave her property. They obviously couldn't find anywhere and in her post operative state shouldn't have been moving anyway. She is now living in a car near to the hospital her baby is in as the only emergency hotel they can offer is 150 miles away. The doctors have written letters of support to say she is not medically fit to be living apart from the baby, but it has been to no avail. This sort of thing is happening constantly.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/05/2026 10:20

Rollercoaster1920 · 28/05/2026 09:33

Benefits are way beyond a safety net. We have Child benefit and childcare hours for most parents, pension for everyone.

JSA is a safety net, as was emergency housing benefit.
Unified Credit makes sense in some ways, but seems to have merged safety net stuff with top-ups and tax breaks that become permanent.

I don't see the problem with the childcare hours? It encourages parents or women to work.

Ilovegermany · 29/05/2026 02:37

whitefluffydog · 26/05/2026 15:10

There are not enough jobs going round. I have been looking for a job for more than a month. And I usually find one within a week

more people coming in and taking jobs, less jobs to go around , wether for the local or the migrant

I do understand. I have a very qualified friend that has been trying for over 3 years. But age and she has a partner so gets nothing now. I am scared for myself too as I am suffering ageism at work.

Rollercoaster1920 · 28/05/2026 09:33

Benefits are way beyond a safety net. We have Child benefit and childcare hours for most parents, pension for everyone.

JSA is a safety net, as was emergency housing benefit.
Unified Credit makes sense in some ways, but seems to have merged safety net stuff with top-ups and tax breaks that become permanent.

WaryCrow · 28/05/2026 09:26

NorthernJim · 27/05/2026 14:25

Benefits are propping up UK society and UK economy. They're providing a higher standard of living than is sustainable. It's a ticking time bomb and when it finally goes off the whole country will go into socio economic meltdown.

Weird how the medieval world managed to function without this level of inequality, and how the post war society managed to afford its higher living standards for all, isn’t it.

WaryCrow · 28/05/2026 09:23

Apprentice26 · 27/05/2026 14:33

Its been planned for 40 years
Its no accident

Totally. I keep saying this. Our economy is not natural and its acts are not acts of god. They are acts of an oligarchic elite. I came across this article recently on how western society is really run. Still very Roman, essentially.

https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/usappblog/2026/05/14/how-oligarchs-dominate-our-democracies-and-preserve-inequality/

It is the nature, granted, of a hierarchical society for the hierarchies to grow and become out of touch, and there has never been such a huge population to manage in human history before. But if you have a large population living in a connected economy, which is what a specialised economy naturally is, then they do form a society, and our elites have GOT to stop thinking of themselves as a breed apart. You cannot impoverish the base of a society and not expect it to collapse: you cannot destroy infrastructure of an economy and expect it to continue to function. This is 101 stuff that the ancient world already knew, it’s not difficult; yet humans keep doing the same things over and over again.

How oligarchs dominate our democracies and preserve inequality | LSE United States Politics and Policy

Voters get a say on some issues, oligarchs can fight against redistribution, maintaining economic inequality.

https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/usappblog/2026/05/14/how-oligarchs-dominate-our-democracies-and-preserve-inequality/

Apprentice26 · 27/05/2026 14:33

NorthernJim · 27/05/2026 14:25

Benefits are propping up UK society and UK economy. They're providing a higher standard of living than is sustainable. It's a ticking time bomb and when it finally goes off the whole country will go into socio economic meltdown.

Its been planned for 40 years
Its no accident

NorthernJim · 27/05/2026 14:25

Benefits are propping up UK society and UK economy. They're providing a higher standard of living than is sustainable. It's a ticking time bomb and when it finally goes off the whole country will go into socio economic meltdown.

SummerFeverVenice · 27/05/2026 14:22

Seymour5 · 26/05/2026 15:06

@thatsgotit our eldest DGnephew is an apprentice electrician, a good opportunity IMO. I agree, Uni nowadays can be an expensive experiment with no guarantees of a career.

Edited

Apprenticeships are as rare as hens teeth ´round here.

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