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Original poster

Putting the word kindly before whatever you are saying, isnt being kind

114 replies

elephantjuiceq · 23/05/2026 09:33

I'm getting a bit sick of MN writing "kindly" and then writing whatever you want. Eg "kindly you are being redicilous".

I find it just allows them to be rude and coming over "kindly".

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 23/05/2026 12:39

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/05/2026 09:48

It's much the same as 'I'm not being funny but ...' or 'No offence but ...'

"I'm not being funny but.." is different though because what they say is indeed not remotely funny.

The others they are actually being rude, sexist etc.

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 12:38

I sign off every email with Kind regards unless they’ve really pissed me off and then it’s just regards

sometimes I use ‘thanks for your help’ or other nicetie to close off

Original poster
elephantjuiceq · 23/05/2026 12:36

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 23/05/2026 11:56

But we know this, that’s exactly why people use it.

See also, Kind Regards on email, that’s to let someone know they’ve been extremely hard work/and or trying.

Kind regards - really depends on the email.

I sign every email of with kind regards
What else would you write???

OP posts:
PoppieCock · 23/05/2026 11:59

elephantjuiceq · 23/05/2026 11:52

No. They could word it better.

Show quote history

Go on then, give it a go?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 23/05/2026 11:56

But we know this, that’s exactly why people use it.

See also, Kind Regards on email, that’s to let someone know they’ve been extremely hard work/and or trying.

Original poster
elephantjuiceq · 23/05/2026 11:52

PoppieCock · 23/05/2026 09:37

I think there's nothing wrong with the particular example you've given.

"kindly you are being ridiculous"

Absolutely fine if someone is being ridiculous and you want to point it out to them, without sounding nasty.

It's much softer than 'You are being ridiculous', if you think the OP is feeling a bit fragile.

No. They could word it better.

OP posts:
5128gap · 23/05/2026 11:37

I think it started with the intent of overcoming the issue of an inability to hear tone and see facial expression. A bit like a stage direction. It's become PA/patronising also now.

AlexaStopAlexaNo · 23/05/2026 11:34

It’s never actually intended as kind, it’s deliberate snark

Original poster
elephantjuiceq · 23/05/2026 11:28

PollyBell · 23/05/2026 11:03

Its patronising and I always imagine it being said in that sickly sweet tone

Yes that

OP posts:
Original poster
elephantjuiceq · 23/05/2026 11:28

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 09:38

I know what you mean. It’s passive aggressive

its like ‘polite notice’ - does the tone of the message or content change because the word polite has been added? Do you ever see a sign saying ‘rude notice’?

Thats what it is! Neither passive nor aggressive, but still passive aggressive

OP posts:
lljkk · 23/05/2026 11:14

Prefacing with kindly = "I am not saying this because I want to upset you. You asked so my response is..."

Which seems fine to me.

HaroldMeaker · 23/05/2026 11:09

No need to preface with ‘kindly’ or the equally patronising ‘gently’: just be kind in your reply. Kindly , you are being ridiculous is just horrible.

PollyBell · 23/05/2026 11:03

Its patronising and I always imagine it being said in that sickly sweet tone

FasterSmootherBrighterRicher · 23/05/2026 11:01

Agree! It’s so fake & patronising. For some reason it makes me think of Miss Ellie in Dallas in the 1980s. Twee!

Watercooler · 23/05/2026 11:00

Tempted to reply "well this is a rude response. Fuck your polite reminder" it's because I told them how they should receive the message.

PullTheBricksDown · 23/05/2026 10:58

Watercooler · 23/05/2026 10:53

I hate 'polite' as in "polite notice" or "this is a polite reminder". No, I will decide whether your reminder is polite.

Yes! Like 'this is a gentle reminder' 🙄

Watercooler · 23/05/2026 10:53

I hate 'polite' as in "polite notice" or "this is a polite reminder". No, I will decide whether your reminder is polite.

FourSevenThree · 23/05/2026 10:51

Agree.
"Kindly" is lazy and self-serving to the speaker, allowing then to feel better about themselves.

If you are sure someone needs to hear something, talk about the issue, not about them.

I'm not sure XYZ is the most important aspect here, I'd be more worried about ABC... says a lot more than You are being ridiculous

BeardySchnauzer · 23/05/2026 10:44

Saying the ‘blunt’ thing with kindly in front is lazy tbh

put a little more effort in to give a kind and helpful response

Whataflippincircus · 23/05/2026 10:44

It very fashionable currently on here to start “kindly”. It actually means fuck all.

PoppieCock · 23/05/2026 10:42

YourGiddyGreyHelper · 23/05/2026 10:27

You are being ridiculous if you think the word kindly does anything to soften the comment in that example.

Show quote history

But that would be down to individual opinion surely?

CoffeeCantata · 23/05/2026 10:41

It's equivalent to:

No offence but...
I'm not being funny but...
I don't mean to be rude but...

MsGreying · 23/05/2026 10:39

Larrythecatforpm · 23/05/2026 09:34

God, people get offended by anything these days.

Kindly: God, people get offended by anything these days.

YourGiddyGreyHelper · 23/05/2026 10:29

Larrythecatforpm · 23/05/2026 09:34

God, people get offended by anything these days.

It's not a case of being offended. It's annoyance at passive aggression and hypocrisy.

Wynter25 · 23/05/2026 10:27

Its patronising

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