Putting the word kindly before whatever you are saying, isnt being kind

It's still negative.

I guess it depends whether you regularly lie or tell the truth to your friends. If you tell the truth they won't take that leap.

@Triskellion75 , of course. Unless it precedes a cruel to be kind comment.

@grumpygrape , but you've put a great big negative in that.
'I'm afraid that cut doesn't flatter your bum, let's see if another style would be better' reads like 'That cut doesn't flatter your fat arse. Let's look for something you don't look so fat in.'

But diverting to the blue dress doesn't answer the closed, binary question. If you want to be kind and a good friend, say something along the lines of 'I'm afraid that cut doesn't flatter your bum, let's see if another style would be better'

If you feel it necessary to put the word 'kindly' in front, then you need to phrase your words better.

Blunt often comes across as rude.

If I asked you 'Does this dress make me look fat?' and you said 'Yes', that's being blunt. If you said 'Yes because you are fat' then you are probably blunt to the point of being offensive.
A tactful reply would be something like 'I prefer the blue one on you, it really suits your colouring'. You're offering a solution or something positive.

(I'd look fat in the blue dress too but I'd be focussing on it suiting my colouring not my huge arse)

I think it’s arrogant.
At least a lot of the time.
It seems like the poster giving the advice knows better and is patiently imparting their wisdom.
One thing if the OP is actually giving a baby puréed McDonald’s, but another when the poster “kindly” advising may not understand the full situation or are commenting based on opinion or prejudice.
It gets used a lot when someone thinks the OP is being self indulgent or could do with having more “resilience”. There are usually at least some assumptions being made.

Yes but the first one will raise hackles and the other person will be 'How dare she?!', the second one might be ignored but it gives the other person a suggestion not an order or criticism.

Its rude and passive aggressive. Same as 'I don't want to offend you but

The ‘suggestion’ removes the bluntness though, and sometimes bluntness is needed, even if it’s meant kindly.

@Swiftie1878 , I've never used ChatGTP. I can think for myself.
I had a demo once.

When you want to give someone fairly blunt advice, it's best to make it look like a suggestion.

'This is wrong. You should have done it this way.' vs
'Have you thought of doing it this way? '

I agree - patronising/condescending. I've never once read it in someone else's post and thought it was anything other than jarring.

Tbf the AI bots are good at diplomatic answers. Many reasons for that I’m sure…

I like it! Maybe I should use ChatGTP more! 😂

I prefer kindly to gently. As in “gently, you are being ridiculous”.

Perfect 👌

@Swiftie1878 . Your children need you to guide them and provide them with boundaries. They won't like it but they'll thank you when they're older.

Your version reads like
'Kindly, you are a crap parent. Pull your socks up.'

Kindly, your kids are running rings around you. You need to understand that you’re the parent, and step up.

You word it so that there's no ambiguity.
If you give me an example, I'll reword it for you.

I think the Dutch might be the worst but at least you know you’ll get an honest answer and there’s no beating about the bush! We always joke at home that if you ask a German if your bum looks big in something they’ll say ‘yes’ whereas the Dutch friend will say ‘your bum is big so of course it does’ (to not offend - this is obviously a stereotype and not applied to everyone)

I suppose the point is, putting kindly in front of a harsh answer doesn’t temper it at all - it’s window dressing

Yanbu, it’s awful.

as when someone starts “With the greatest of respects …” you know what they are about to say is the opposite of respectful.

Oh god no, I have found Germans can really speak their mind very bluntly. Not as rude as Russians but some are heading in that direction.

That said I'm not sure putting 'kindly' in front of something horrible is particularly helpful but sometimes people do seem completely oblivious to the fact that their own behaviour is at the root of all their problems.

Kindly, which part of You don't need to use anything. don't you understand?

With the example above

Kindly, you sound like a terrible parent

you could say ‘I’m not sure giving your 6 month old puréed McDonald’s burgers is the healthiest option. Salt intake can be a real issue so etc etc’

Answering with a negative - however kindly - is not very helpful and it’s better to be constructive

and if the person sounds like a genuinely terrible parent then why does it need to be said kindly?

No, the point of it is expressing tone. If what you want to say, or feel you need to say, sounds harsh, how do you temper it in text?
Like ‘I’m genuinely not having a go at you here, or judging you, but…’ - that’s a bit of a long winded mouthful.