‘We’re so lucky that my husband can work from home’ - AIBU?

I get your points but at the same time I find my dh working from home handy like if my older dc is sick he can go collect him while I’m miles away at the office and that sort of thing . I mean with older dc you can still get work done from home in an emergency and throw on a cartoon for something , it’s not ideal I know but it’s great to have a little flexibility. Like 2 teachers for example would have zero flexibility.

I'm retired, why would I have wanted to look busy, I can watch telly all day if I want.

Given the OP has said several times that he has never made any complaint whatsoever about noise, I would definitely take the advice of the posters who say you should aggressively tell him that he mustn’t complain, whilst turning the tv up and being as loud as possible.

I suspect a lot of people who hate their husbands WFH are just cross that they can’t pretend to have been stressed and super busy all day when they’ve really just been having leisurely baths and watching Homes Under the Hammer.

Exactly this !!!

Meh, nine times out of ten they'd be right.

I quite like DH wfh but it does annoy me that he'll come out to get a coffee whatever, 3 year old will ask for something and he'll be like "no I can't sorry, I'm not actually here." Stay in your fucking office then and go without your coffee instead of disrupting us!

DH worked from home for a while after Covid, I'm retired, it was like some sort of hell, he used the spare room but I could hear the calls through the door and the day was somewhat regimented. I was glad when he retired as well and pursued his hobbies in between us doing stuff together

This really.

He’s got the option to be in an office.

He can’t then complain you’re not treating your home like an office in half term!

Couldn’t he choose literally any other week to pull this?

Self employed? Freelance? Work different hours? Work different days? Part time? Kids are old enough to work largely independently? Not hard to imagine.

Suspect you just want to find out they're "doing it in work hoooouurrrs" tho and slag off home edders as MN really hates us.

I don't like it when my DH works from home too often. He has a study upstairs but has also commandeered a room downstairs for his PC, laptop and work papers which he leaves in a HUGE mess over the desk - literally, pens scattered all over the desk, bits of paper, the odd cornflake, tissues, etc. Drives me nuts. When he takes a few minutes off, I am subjected to junk from You Tube - all the while I am sitting in front of my PC in the kitchen, doing quiet things so as not to disturb him. I dread him retiring!

I like it when my DH works from home as he has more flexibility than me so I can book some trades in etc. However he doesn’t have expectations for us to be quiet though

I've noticed that he is, but why would you expect him to? I can't remember DH taking many days during half terms.

I totally understand how you feel.

All I can suggest is to talk to him. Say you find it odd he has chosen to do this when the kids are off, but that you need to be able to live as you would if he were in the office.

How you feel about it is down to you, not him. You could tell him though. If my DH said that to me, I’d be back in the office.

Mines mostly a cunt.

My dh works from home 4 days a week (I don’t work).

He goes to the office on a Thursday. That’s my favourite day of the week. Dh and ds at work, the younger ones at school.

I am alone with the dog and it’s heaven.

Sometimes he goes in twice a week and it’s joyous.

I seems like its all in your head, esepcially as he's not complained. Stop worrying about what he's thinking, if he has a problem with the noise he can go to the office. As you saying you feel more relaxed and happy when he's in the office, that's a worrying comment.

my partner works from home and I HATE it! We have managed to negotiate him working out the house one day a week

There are a LOT of women who hate their husband being at home most of the time, and working from home.

You do have to ask why. It can't possibly be that all these women 'don't like him very much........'

I wonder if it might be worth having a discussion with your husband? You can own that this is just how you feel and might not be the same for everyone. You could do a "shit sandwich", so start and end with things you like about him WFH sometimes. Childcare is still work and having an audience (even if non-critical) is a bit like you going into his office, sitting silently in the corner. If he did more days in the office this week could he have more WFH at other times?

You wouldn't 'love having your husband at home) if he was there 24/7. If you say you would, I can only surmise that you are young and have been married less than 15 years. Wait til you're in your 50s or older, and you can't get him to leave the house, or do ANYthing without you!

Definitely not just you... I hate it when my husband wfh... I suddenly become aware of what I am doing with my day and feel the need to cater for him and factor him into my comings and goings. I think it's a 'me' problem not his, but yes I hate it too and I don't really know why.

A friend of mine works from home - but has now rented local office space which his employers are happy to pay for. (They are across the country, his rented space is 10 mins away.) He does a bit of both, office, home and occasional visits to hd office.

Even more important now that they have decided to home educate.

Could your DH do this? What about a home office in the garden? Or in the loft?

I totally get it, Op. It's just the presence in the house. It reminds me of a time last year when I was packing for a holiday. My dad said he'd come round and take my dd for a walk so I could get on with it. My mum ended up showing up too but didn't want to go on the walk and said she'd just watch a bit of TV while I packed and dd + dad were out. It totally threw me. She didn't expect me to chat but I just felt stressed knowing she was in the house and was so much less productive as a result. I think I was just so looking forward to having the house to myself and time to think things through but her being there somehow changed my headspace.

Well hopefully we will have nicer weather next week if your in the uk. Take them out to the park don’t sit moping around the house.

YANBU, but I think circumstances have a lot to do with it.

Current 4 bed detached, DH secretes himself away in a warm, sunny, furthest away corner of the house and we don't worry about making noise other than not running the vacuum on the landing. In our previous house, or if DH were less good at shutting himself away, it would be much harder. I like him WFH, he's more helpful in the evening because he is here and hasn't had to spend 2 hours driving on top of his work.