‘We’re so lucky that my husband can work from home’ - AIBU?

I mean yes it is normal and yes lots of 'real' jobs can involve some working from home. Any job that requires admin can have some working from home days, even teachers can have some working from home, they teach in a classroom but may mark work, plan lessons etc from home. I deliver therapy and do assessments and psychometric testing in person with clients but I can write reports and session notes etc from home. That doesn't mean my job isn't real or normal. This guy obviously doesn't work full time from home. Personally alot of my inperson work is done with young people in their school so this week i'm working from home because I can't do that since schools are shut but I still have a lot of admin to do.

I understand and feel the same. I hate DH working from home when I’m home. Small house and he sits at the dining table in a mostly open plan downstairs. I feel I can’t get anything done and always on edge. DCs are older so not as much of a problem with noise. Unless the office is being refurbished, tell him he’s being unreasonable working from home and it makes your day more stressful.

My husband worked shifts for over 30 years in the police force. The shifts consisted of alot of nightmare, so in bed during the day. He we had nowhere to go, they wouldn't do play in the house. My dh would tell me the only thing he could hear, was me, telling the kids to be quiet..😳

I was empathising with a fellow teacher who had their DH at home when it’s the holidays.
I just meant it’s easier to do your own thing in the school holidays when there’s no DH so the sentiment is the same even if the children situation is very different.

OP - I wondered if he had chosen to WFH this week as a positive thing because you are around (not working) and he wanted a small part of that even if he still has to work. Sorry it sounds stressful! I am immediately thinking of that famous BBC interview where the kids interrupt it on live TV! At least that's ublikely to happen. I'm hoping the great weather will make things better for you and put everyone in a good mood. Sending positive vibes.

I totally get enjoying being alone and having the house to myself.
But OP is home with the kids so it's a completely different situation.

You would not tolerate this kind of behaviour from an older child so why do you tolerate it from your husband instead of telling him how annoying he is?

To clarify, he's shut away in his office working all day 8-7 ish and when he's free it's only for half an hour to gobble some lunch (which i have to make at the time that suits him) and doesn't do anything towards children or household between those hours because he's working. So he's not a 'drain', he just has a high pressure job. It would be great if he was free to chat and make meals but he just isn't.

Not just you. I am always more relaxed when DH not wfh. He has noise cancelling headphones but when he's on calls we have to keep the noise down and he gets irritated if the washing machine beeps or someone comes to the door and I don't deal with it.

I love when my husband works from home. He helps with lunch. He pops out to chat to us, hold the baby, entertain toddler for 5 mins when he’s making a cuppa. It means he’s here an hour or more early to help with dinner and clear up and bath time. Can’t imagine being married to such a drain.

I love that my partner works from home, I’m on maternity leave at the moment with my two year old and 10 month old so we’re all in the house everyday. I’m usually out with the children but when we’re at home they know daddy’s working upstairs so they’re downstairs or in the garden with me. My partner comes down during his lunch and we eat lunch together and go for a walk, and if the children are napping he and I will have a coffee together. The intermittent adult interaction is nice during lunchtime and during his working hours it’s like he’s not here because we keep the space very separate so it works well for us.

I think i have this feeling but more extremely than you. I am also a teacher and it irritates the fucking daylights out of me if my OH cheerfully announces he's taken the school holiday as annual leave. So that's my break to decompress ruined. Fills fridge with beer and says let's have a bbq. Nooooo! F off and leave me in peace, I've earned the break, the noise can stop, my mind can relax, I might even read a book, get my nails done, whatever. But for the love of God, bugger off to work! It's not as if I can swap the week for a different one. We have to take half term exactly when it is so it can feel like he blundered in and stole it. When kids were younger it would annoy me that he could have taken a different week so I didn't have to do the school run as well as trying to get to my own school in time. Now that would have been useful! I didn't need any help in the holiday ffs.

I agree as he gets to have the house to himself wfh while his wife is at work in a stressful job, so would be nice for her to have some time at home without him there.

This is it, for those of us to who go to a workplace, home is home.

Same as you, I hate it! We teachers are up and out early every day while DH has a cushier day wfh. So, during the holidays with DC it's annoying feeling the need to go out all the time, be quiet when on calls, just general being there commenting and breathing! Lol 😆 I'm joking but it does put a dampener on freedom at home and as you say a feeling of being watched.

So you're out Monday and Friday. He's in the office Wednesday. That leaves Tuesday and Thursday. You're out in the mornings so that leaves all of you at home only Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. Hardly a major inconvenience. Talk making a molehill into a mountain. What an over reaction.

Stop stopping them from bothering him. Make that his problem to solve. He’s home, they’re home, what’s he going to do about it?

I get it and I don't.

You and the kids are in holiday mode want to let loose and have freedom from structure. DH is in work mode and you will be conscious of two opposing 'vibes' existing in one house. You'll subconsciously diall down in consideration of him working which could put the brakes on the fun.

On the other hand hes chosen to do so knowing the kids will be there. On the first day of the hols, make as much noise as you would if he wasn't there and he then has the choice to go to the office for the rest of the week if he wants.

However, just because you think WFH is depressing doesn't mean he should, thats his preference.

So are they toddlers, but not at nursery next week? Presumably, they aren't out of nursery the whole summer holidays. I probably wouldn't keep them off for the whole of the week, just for the days out over half term

I remember us having to work really hard during Covid to set these rules when my eldest was younger. It was hard but worth it. The ideal is surely that he can work from home and it’s not like this. Right now that’s really hard, but I think can be worth it.

there is so much these days that is more geared towards kids than it was even in the 80s/90s let alone earlier. I think those rules give you freedom/options and help everything work better when you have lots of folk living in one house together.

maybe speak to hubby about how to work together this week to make kids follow the rules when he is home. Can he do some of the disciplining re not coming in the office for example and not leaving it to you?

making this work in half term may prove very helpful come summer holidays.

This basically. He can WFH but can’t expect you to be silent all week during half term. If he can’t deal with the noise, he’ll have to go into the office.