Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

‘We’re so lucky that my husband can work from home’ - AIBU?

285 replies

birdsinginthemorning · 23/05/2026 08:43

That’s what a good friend just messaged to me.

I am (only semi seriously) wondering if I am in the wrong relationship.

DH has announced he’s working from home most of next week, only going into the office on Wednesday.

I am a teacher so I’m off next week for half term. I am now dreading it 😩

It’s really hard to put my finger on what it is. I hate having to be conscious of noise. I don’t even think we’re all that noisy but it’s that awareness. I also kind of feel watched, even though I know I’m not, it’s that feeling.

The children are only young so while they do sort of understand ‘daddy’s working’ it’s still hard for them to really get it.

We do have a lot planned and we’re out for the whole days Mondays & Fridays as they are his ‘usual’ wfh days. But the rest of the week we’re out for the morning and I don’t really want to have them on a carousel of activities all week.

Is it just me?

And it makes no difference where in the house he is, whether he wears noise cancelling headphones or not, it really is just that I don’t like him working from home. I can sort of tolerate it a couple of times a week but I genuinely think I would be quite depressed if it was every day.

OP posts:
PoppieCock · 23/05/2026 08:49

You need to remember he's choosing to work in your living space.

You're not choosing to live in his working space.

birdsinginthemorning · 23/05/2026 08:49

Tartanarmy2 · 23/05/2026 08:45

That’s a bit…odd. Especially given you are out all day for two of the days!

Maybe, I don’t know. I just know I’m so much more relaxed and happy when he’s in the office.

He hasn’t complained about noise but I’m just aware of it. Even things like having perfectly normal conversations (well, as normal as you can get with toddlers!) feel a bit more forced and strained somehow.

OP posts:
iniati · 23/05/2026 08:49

I sort of understand - I find it difficult when DH is here but not here at the same time

But I also think there are advantages - it's nice to have lunch together, I can pop out if I need to and leave the kids with him, he will entertain them while I make dinner, etc.

iamfedupwiththis · 23/05/2026 08:47

My husband has worked from home since 2000, he's upstairs in his office, door shut, life carries on. It has to.

Whyarentyoureadyyet · 23/05/2026 08:47

I don't think that means you're in the wrong relationship, it just doesn't work to have to be quiet and mindful when the children have their half term holiday

Does he ask you to be quiet though or is that you self policing?

Harhar · 23/05/2026 08:47

Does he complain? It’s a home first and his workplace second. He has the choice to go to the office if it’s too loud for him.

EasilyPleased · 23/05/2026 08:46

Is he not taking even a day off for half term?

redboxerclub · 23/05/2026 08:46

Iused to think this but if he is home during holiday time then you just have to get on ad normal. I think I was more conscious of it than DH. He can work in a room with a door shut.

Tartanarmy2 · 23/05/2026 08:45

That’s a bit…odd. Especially given you are out all day for two of the days!

bigboykitty · 23/05/2026 08:45

Just tell him 'that's fine. Don't even think about complaining about the noise or expecting us to keep out of the way'. And be noisy. And in the way.