Relative took my niece and missed my child's party

Devastated… over a no show at a kids party. It’s feel extreme and is this really what you want to teach your child? Plans do change and we can adapt and enjoy the company of those who do show up.

You need to get a grip and stop over reacting.

The parents shouldn't have changed their plans (and should have let you know in any event).

But you've been massively unreasonable and inappropriate with this other relative. Getting angry with them and saying she was taking "bull". You owe that relative a big apology.

Who is the relative? Fine if you don't want to say, but if it's the grandmother, she might be genuinely worried about the niece whose "parents don't want to parent" and "play computer games all day", and worry that if she doesn't do what they tell her, she'll lose all chance of contact with the girl, leaving her more at risk.
While it's rude and annoying a kid missed your child's birthday, what is far more serious here is parents who do nothing but play computer games and don't want to parent-if things are as you say, that's what would bother me.

I dont understand why you didn't express your disappointment to the child's parents yourself before they left, and not simply tell the family member (sounds like your mother) that was taking the child you were upset. Ultimately it is the responsibility of the parents to decide if their child (your niece) goes off for a day/sleepover or whatever.

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I dont see why this had to end up being so dramatic, it is out of proportion to normal thinking

That was a really long and detailed post for a short story.

yes be pissed off but then move on, don’t cut off contact with your close relatives!

The thing is you mention you meet up several times a week with the children so I am not sure that this 'party' would have been seen as anything too different to normal.
It wasn't like you had paid for a party at a venue, it was food and games at yours.

What you were doing sounds more like the kind of tea party you might do with just the parents or maybe invite grandparents round for a piece of cake.

As someone else said, only inviting the cousins could have meant that neither attended had one been ill.
Surely doing something small scale like this is usually intended as a low key event.

Also wondering whether your weekend plans involve a proper party for your child you aren't mentioning?

The unblocking will only work though won’t it if the relative hasn’t noticed the blocking and either blocked back or deleted!

Annoying, but not worth all this drama.

Storm in a teacup ☕️

Wow. You sound like such hard work!

If you have a small party you do so knowing life happens - any of those kids, including yours, could have come down with sickness and had to miss it.

It's all so dramatic, honestly.

I can't believe you're sending angry messages and blocking people over such small issues.

Shame there isn't a poll.

I agree with most. The parents shouldn't have let the child drop out, once they'd agreed to her coming BUT your response is ridiculous.

Most people would have been annoyed and disappointed, but got on with the party and left it at that. Your actions are completely OTT.

If they had accepted the invite then it is poor form to make alternative plans at the last minute, so I do get you being disappointed/upset. However, and I say this kindly, this won’t be the last time that children that have been invited to your DCs parties end up not attending, not RSVPing, dropping out last minute, so I think you need to use this as an opportunity to build some resilience to these kind of situations. Even more so given there is a family connection involved.

In your shoes, I’d suggest you unblock and when the relative is back from their break away, get some time for a face to face to clear the air where you can honestly and openly express how hurt you were personally and on behalf of your DC. Then draw a line under it and move on - I’m sure there will be plenty of future birthday gatherings that everyone will be able to attend and celebrate as a family.

I understand why you are annoyed but equally this sounds like a huge overreaction, particularly when you all see eachother multiple times a week. Your child won't remember this and will presumably be seeing their cousin in the next few days anyway?

Move on with your lives

YABU. 4 children does not really make a ''birthday party''. It was just a very small group. You should have invited more children - then an absence of one child would not have been such a disaster. Your relative probably thought her child would hardly be missed at a ''real party''.

It's not unpleasant, more the truth.

No it's not the truth! It' s your OPINION.

It's not unpleasant, more the truth.
@Familygal1 hasn't stated what the holiday was but I would guess this would appear more interesting than a 2 hour (max) get together with cousins which can happen any time.

I wonder what she would have done if it was reverse?

I think there is likely to be a bigger back story to this, but on the face of it, yeah it's annoying thet agreed to it, but as it was only something small that could be done any time then I can see why they went for the holiday.

But this idea of a party for 4 children doesn't really sound much fun,

It might not sound like much fun to you but it obviously was what OP thought her child would enjoy on the day!

Perhaps the type of celebration you count as fun wouldn't be fun for OP and her child.

I can't believe the unpleasant attitude of some of the pp on this thread.

This would be so much easier to follow without all the needless attempts to anonymise who people are.

I realise this may not be the case and I’m reading too much into it but how your post read to me with the last min taking the child so parents can have a break, having not thought about the birthday, apologising but not really engaging too much (“I’m sorry you feel that way”) - vibes I’m getting is there’s something else going on. Maybe the birthday isn’t a big deal to them because something that is a bigger deal is their priority right now.

Kindly, OP, you’re going to be in for a rough ride over the next 15 years if you let every real or perceived sleight get to you this way. You’ll spend your life erupting at people for all sorts of reasons. Yes, they were rude, but you’ve given them an excuse to take the moral high ground by behaving like one of them had stolen your one true love.