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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that not always, but quite often, it is the parents...

228 replies

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 22/05/2026 18:04

I was a teacher for a few years and in the years I taught I saw behaviour getting MUCH worse and parents getting less and less inclined to support teachers.

I saw a facebook post today saying that it's unreasonable to blame parents for children's behaviour in school and it then went on to talk about how hard it is for ND kids to stay regulated at school and it's the fault of "the system" that they can't cope.

There's a family I know with 2 boys who are both constantly in trouble in school. The classroom frequently has to be evacuated because of the younger one's violent outbursts. He's about 8.

I saw him today in the library, running around, ignoring the librarian, and swearing profusely the whole time. They're both always out unsupervised, roaming the streets, and when I see him with his Mum, she speaks to him with the same language he uses for everyone else. Social services had to get involved because she kept smacking them, so now she swears and shouts at them and they hit her, and she asks what she's supposed to do now she's not allowed to hit them back.

I don't know if they are ND, but the problem is that they're barely being parented and when they are, they example being set is dreadful.

OP posts:
Passaggressfedup · 22/05/2026 18:20

What surprises me on MN is the number of posts from mothers who genuinely seem completely helpless in managing their children who exhibit totally normal unpleasant behaviours for their age.

It's as if they gave birth thinking that their kids would naturally grow up without displaying any challenging behaviours so when they do, they have no idea how to discipline. They don't and when things get worse, they blame it on others or conditions, so that they don't have to take any responsibility for it.

That and being scared to discipline because they think they will be judged and shown up for being horrible people.

youalright · 22/05/2026 18:17

To be fair to her what is she supposed to do she's probably scared of them and they sound completely out of control. I do absolutely think its parenting to an extent but I also think genetics and personality type have a huge part to play my 2 eldest completely different personality types. One is really laid back, well behaved, calm and just has a gentle nature. The eldest was and still is an absolute nightmare she just can't control her temper, she has outbursts over any minor inconvenience, will smash things up, will shout and swear and can just be generally unpleasant

Lastofthesummerwines · 22/05/2026 18:14

I agree! Not always but there's a portion of it the parents.
Last weekend I was on the bus and a group of kids come on with a couple, there was a toddler who they took out of the pram who then decided he was going to run up and down the bus . The parents was like Johnny come here, johnny stop doing that, then the other kids decided oh little Johnny is allowed to do this let's have a go. So the bus then has numerous kids including the toddler walking up and down the aisle and the parents are just half soaked and not even acknowledging the danger of it. An old woman caught the youngster a couple of times and even then the parents still didn't acknowledge it. Mums moan to go in the pram fell on deaf ears.
The kids weren't being "naughty" They just needed that bit of guidance for them to understand the consequences and of course if the driver had to break sharply and the toddler hurt himself it would've been the driver at fault according to these type of parents.
Kids aren't being parented anymore, they are not being told right from wrong and as for respect that's gone right out of the window!
Yet it's always someone else's fault....