Lend a Tenner to friend in financial difficulty?

I can understand the discomfort. She must have been burned in the past and worried that it would become a habit. £10 today, perhaps a more regular occurrence in the future. Also you don’t know her situation really so there’s that.

Do you save? That would help even if it’s just £5 a month - you’d be surprised how it mounts up and a godsend when you’re only short by a bit.

She was horrible about the present though - that sounds unfair.

Lending money can be a tricky subject OP. I'm glad someone came to your rescue. One thought is that you suggest to this friend that you stop exchanging gifts on the basis that things are a bit tight for you, and she is fussy and rude....

Definitely return the lantern if that is an option, and keep the money. I also wonder if that was her cack-handed attempt at saying you don't need to spend money on her.

She sounds like an absolute cow, to be honest. It’s a shame you’re hard up or I’d suggest buying a load more lanterns and having them all around her front door.

I do get it from both sides but a close friend would have offered? I have very few very close friends and I would have given them the money and not expected it back and vice versa. So the question is, how much of a friend is she? £10 isn’t an issue really

Id have to be on the literal bones of my arse not to give a close friend £10.

I dont lend money either. Actually thinking about it, I do. Lunches from the shop if someone going at work. But nothing major and with thst sort of thing I keep a loose memory but its not the end of the world.

Sorry I pressed the wrong button! You are only being unreasonable for counting this person as a friend. I have had significantly larger loans than that , and vice versa, and have never once either reneged on or been cheated on repayments. £10 is a measly amount and if ( unless she is flat broke) it shows the height of meanness - compounded by criticising your gift - she’s not a friend worth keeping !!

This - £10 is not a lot between good friends so l would have helped you out even if l didn't get it back
She's not much of a friend criticising your present.

I know she said she doesn't lend money but ffs it's a tenner!

I am a single parent on a tight budget and I'd have given you £10 if you were my friend!

She's also very rude to moan about the present.

Maybe that it cost more than a tenner?

Blimey!

She was horrible about her present.

Can you tell her you are sorry it isn't suitable and if she returns it to you you can return it? (Can you?)

And then buy her a £10 replacement present.

It was uncaring and unfeeling of her to refuse to help you, though a risk as she has previously said she doesn't lend,

Is she wealthier than most of her friends and family? She might get this a lot and the mental / emotional burden of being asked might be more of an issue to her than the actual ££.

But odd that she was then so critical of the gift, if that is uncharacteristic.

OP I think you need to work yourself into a position where you aren’t £10 short just before pay day. Easier said than done, I know but you only need to work 1 hour to make £10 these days.

Having issues with lending large amounts and letting a friend have a tenner for a couple of days are different issues. I'd give a friend, who was close enough for me to receive a birthday gift from, a tenner without hesitation.

I think its incredibly rude to ask a friend to lend money, that's what family are for !
Apologies if you are not in a position to ask a family member

Id give a friend £10 no hesitation. She is a bitch!!!!

I honestly think this post is so peculiar I assumed it was some kind of odd joke? Then I saw the ‘serious’ responses. So guessing it isn’t? What kind of ‘best friend’ quibbles about ‘lending’ you ten quid? For two days! Quite honestly I’d be amazed if they even wanted it back. I’m also amazed you couldn’t just explain why you needed it, to your best friend. What a miserable world we live in 🫣

I honestly think this post is so peculiar I assumed it was some kind of odd joke? Then I saw the ‘serious’ responses. So guessing it isn’t? What kind of ‘best friend’ quibbles about ‘lending’ you ten quid? For two days! Quite honestly I’d be amazed if they even wanted it back. I’m also amazed you couldn’t just explain why you needed it, to your best friend. What a miserable world we live in 🫣

If anyone outside of my family asks me for money I ignore them too, in fact if my teenager asks me for money too frequently I ignore them too. You know she doesn't lend money out yet you still asked her putting her in an awkward position. I don't think she's rude to ignore your request id of done the same thing. She's rude for ripping into her gift from you.

Could be that she's worried you'll start taking advantage of her too if she lends it you but doesn't know how to say it without hurting your feelings (and to be fair there isn't) and she may also be someone who finds it hard to say no so it's just easier for her to not say anything. Remember the people who took advantage previously will have most likely been friends/family, people she trusted so not surprising she's reacted this way.

I agree with this.
It’s one thing to ask for a tenner because you’ve just realised you lost your card/ phone and you need the money at that moment, but if it’s because you cannot pay a bill and afford your essential expenses, it is likely to become a regular one-sided thing.

Absolutely horrible behaviour. Surely if she was a friend she would just give you the 10 and then tell you to keep it. If you ask again she can say she doesn't lend money. I'd hate if a friend couldn't ask me for a dig out when stuck, a friend who repeatedly takes advantage if a very different story.

I dont lend money to anyone.
Only lend what your willing to lose in my case thats nothing, been down that road and i wont do it again.

If im ever asked its a flat out no sorry i dont have it and i dont lend.

£10 is an unlikely figure to get anyone out of financial trouble- it is much more likely to be a couple of hundred,which is far trickier,depends on your financial situation and how good a friend,but when you lend money always be prepared to never see the money again.

I’d be bloody tempted to reply, ‘sorry you really don’t like the gift I bought you. As you said have no use for it, and I could definitely have done with the money, please let me collect it and I’ll take it back for a refund. I’ll get you another more pleasing gift when I have the money to.’

And then fucking don’t. CF that she is.

I'd simply give a friend a tenner if they were that strapped. And not criticise a present whether I liked it or not.

She doesn't sound great.

I agree.

Yes, it's "just" a tenner but if you are only one bill away from being absolutely broke OP, then it's very likely this is going to happen again isn't it? next month it will be just another tenner and then another one- its only a tenner after all!!

Then, before you know it you realise that you've lent someone £100 and they havent paid any of it back.

People saying it's just ten quid, your friend is awful. Well, I'd counter that with - I dont treat my friends like my personal ATM machine as I am an adult who takes personal responsibility for my finances.