Lend a Tenner to friend in financial difficulty?

No idea but please stop putting a space before every full stop.

I wouldn’t.
That’s putting them on the spot and I’d find that rude.

Once someone gets burned when lending money, they will be extremely cautious to do it again. I lent a friend money 21 years ago and she always repaid. I lent another connected friend money which she never returned. I never lent money to anyone after that

If I was going to ask a friend for money, I would ask face to face or at least by telephone call.

Honestly I wouldn't ask a friend for money. Not even a tenner. I've given money to family and friends but it's always felt a strain and I try not to. If you knew she didn't like to lend i wouldn't have asked.

I guess she probably felt awkward saying no. It's a difficult situation to be put in.

Criticising the gift is a bit rude though...
Depends what she said though.

What did you need the money for and what are your circumstances?

On the face of it I’d lend a friend £10 but honestly I said no to my friend just a few weeks ago.

He is a very good friend but he lives at home with his mum and has no actual money worries, whilst I’m a single parent and need to pay my bills.
The reason he is short is because he’s reckless with his money and so I felt it was a bit of a piss take for him to ask me.

I wouldn’t have bought a birthday present I couldn’t afford - and then ask the birthday girl to borrow money. Effectively, she would be paying for her own gift.

I - and other friends - have been burned by another "friend" who lied and schemed and 'borrowed' money that she tried not to pay back. This person is still kicking around on the outskirts of our group with people who can't just kick her out because she owes them cash, and they hope to get it back.

You might have good morals and say you'll pay it back, but it's a slippery slope. No wonder she has the blanket rule. So do I, now.

I’d give a friend a tenner. Or more if it was a genuine one off. I know my close friends (I only have a couple) well enough to judge. They’d do the same for me.

Yes and this too. It's bizarre to buy someone a present knowing you cant really afford it and then ask the exact same person to lend you money back!

Ask her for the present back if she doesn't like it. Get your money back. Problem sorted.

This. How much did you spend on her present?

OP, if money is so tight for you that you’re getting down to your last tenner then you cannot go round buying even the nicest closest dearest friends birthday presents. You have to prioritise your own financial health over gifts to others. Good friends will understand.

Why did you buy her a present if you didn't have enough money to last you until payday??

@CertaintyOfTides she already told you she doesnt lend money so why would she reply to something you already know the answer to.

YABVU to ask for money from someone who is uncomfortable about lending. You put her in an uncomfortable position.

I know she has had issues before with lending people large amounts of money and being taken advantage of . She's since told me she never lends money

So, you know she's been screwed out of money before by other friends, and she has told you she'll never lend money again as a result. Then you ask her to lend you money and wonder why she isnt jumping at the opportunity?

🙄

She was rude to criticise the birthday present but why are you buying presents if you are short of money?
I don’t lend any amount of money that I am not prepared to give but I would give a friend £10.

You at very least deserved a reply even if the reply was “no”. Though for a close friend I’d give them £10 with no expectations of return.

I'd understand someone never lending money, as they may have had instances where it was never repaid.

A request should be met with a response though.

My dad used to tell me "never lend money you aren't prepared to lose". It's very easy for someone to say "I'll pay you right back" and then think 'well they've got plenty of money it's not a big deal and after all it's only 10 quid'. I mean you aren't a bank, there's no contract obligating a repayment and if you do want to enforce it you need to pay for that privilege.

You'd be amazed how many people say 'feel free to say no' then turn on you when you do say no. She's been burned before and learned her lesson. I'm also pretty sure that whoever did burn her has probably turned her into the villain by minimising. Most of the time it's not even about the money it's about the fact that someone broke the trust.

Was she giving out about the present in the fact you buy one but are having money problems and looking to borrow?

I must confess I do not lend money but in the case of a tenner I would give it. To me it would be similar to a colleague forgetting their wallet at home on a Friday so you lend them a tenner until you see them again on Monday.

Not long ago I lost my bank card and had to wait weeks for my new one. Luckily It had some cash to keep me going. But when that ran out multiple people offered to lend me cash. This includes a business owner who services I use a lot. Several colleagues I don't know well plus family and friends.

This person is not your friend. I would distance myself from her in future.

She feels you don't respect her.

What was the present? What was her criticism?

So you knew she had had issues with this before and didn't want to lend anyone money, and yet you thought she was the person to go ask? Why didn't you ask someone else? From her perspective, it probably looked like yet another person trying to take her money.

Jeez I’d give £10 to someone caught short at the til who I’d never met before! But I can afford that (and all I’ve ever had to do in the past is pay someone’s bus fare). Not much of a friend though criticising your gift.