Lend a Tenner to friend in financial difficulty?

She's told you she doesn't lend money at all but you still asked? Yeah, don't blame her for ignoring that.

I’d have given it to you op but people can be odd about money.

IME the sort of person who asks you to lend them a tenner once is the sort of person who will ask again and again and again - and I'd rather not get into that.

Complaining about the birthday gift though was horrible.

I hope you asked her to return the gift to you so you can get a refund!

I ‘d give almost anyone I know a tenner if they needed it.

She isn’t a friend. I’d split my last tenner for a friend who was in need.
I would understand that it isn’t easy to ask for help.
I wouldn’t contact her again, she might have her boundaries set up but sometimes boundaries have consequences.
I hope things improve for you financially.

@CertaintyOfTides Your friend is not a friend. Tell her not to worry about the bday gift. It's the last one she will get from you.

I would give anyone who asked a tenner, never mind a close friend. (No, not you, the whole of MN!)

But you knew she never lends. So asking was awkward. Some people ignore rather than have to say no.

I'd lend my friend a tenner and wouldn't chase it up, but I can afford to lose a tenner.

I would have given it to you, plus some more to tide you over.

If I can spare it at all, I'd much rather give than lend.

Why did you choose to ask someone who had told you they didn't lend money? Seems an odd choice.

The only people I lend money to are my kids and I do that in the knowledge I don’t care if I don’t get it back.

I wouldn’t have lent you it. Sorry.

Oh that's so sad that your friend only got to enjoy her camper van and retirement for so short a time, but what a wonderful gift your loan was.

Wow. I’ve stepped in to pay for people’s shopping at the till before now. I don’t have a lot but I always help out when I’m able. She’s a crummy friend. It’s one thing not to give, that’s her choice, but she owed you a reply. And to criticise a present? Yikes, that’s a horrible thing to do. Cruel even.

Hello ,
So I'd like some outside perspective on this.
I've never been one to ask for money and have always paid money,probably taking it too far in fact . For example. Even if it was a £1

what does this mean? The always paid money?

I know she has had issues before with lending people large amounts of money and being taken advantage of . She's since told me she never lends money .

Asking while knowing this makes you unreasonable. She's already told you. She should not have to do it again.

Being critical about your gift was rude and unnecessary. So you're both unreasonable.

You know she’s been ripped off in the past. She’s very upset and sensitive about it, to the extent that she’s made it known she’ll never lend money again. You’re a good friend and you know all this. But you asked her anyway. I expect she was pissed off, and chose silence rather than expressing her anger.

She shouldn’t have criticised the present though, but you’ve not been clear on the context. Was she saying that you shouldn’t have bought her a present if you were skint?

Everyone has the right to say no to lending money, but personally a best friend and £10, and assume no history of not asking and not repaying? I have a friend who asks me every so often and in some ways I don’t mind as she pays me back without reminding on pay day, but I do feel like I can’t say no as she knows I have it in my savings and she has a disabled child.

I once loaned a close friend 12k for a year. She never asked me, but I could see how passionate she was about buying a camper van with her pension at 55, so I offered. I am now so glad I did and she got that extra year using it and enjoying it as by 57 she was gone, taken by cancer 9wks after diagnosis. We did have measures in place so i’d receive my money if she had have died during that year (pension signed to me).

You knew the answer. You should not have asked.

You've made it clear that you being short of money is a problem of your own making - '100 per cent not thinking clearly'

You need to sort out your finances and stop asking people for money. I'd start with not buying gifts for people when you clearly can't afford it.

The OP is talking about this specific situation. They aren't asking for your fine financial advice. Mind your own......

Let's beg to differ. Texting is rude in my opinion.

I would definitely lend a good friend £10.00 and unless I was hard up myself I would tell them to keep it. I did lend money to a close friend who was going through a difficult time financially, I also bought her and her partner a couple of bags of groceries as they had no food and I was worried about how much weight they had lost. At that time money was tight for me, but their situation was far worse and I knew they would repay the cash when they could, which they did, but I refused their offer to pay me for the food as they didn't ask for it, that was my totally my decision.

That's a really petty comment to make.

You know she’s had issues lending in the past, she has told you she doesn’t lend money, but there is absolutely nobody else in your life you could ask for a tenner? You have invited people here to call her tight, selfish etc, but if her policy isn’t to lend money, that’s it. You have enough income to own pets, but at £10 quid short you are destitute? And yet it’s your close friend who is being accused of being wrong?

I’d give a stranger a tenner if they needed it, unless they did something awful to me. A close friend would have to really have messed up for me not to just give them it.

Yes.

Op, it was embarrassing enough without her adding insult to injury. Horrible woman.