AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

I have bloody Tuesday off op! It was the only viable option.

weird day but I now got used to it and enjoy it

I only work one day then a break haha

and bank holidays I get a 4 day weekend

I'm 0.8 but I don't get to choose my day off, I think this is up to you manager rather than you.

I definitely would have wanted the Wednesday!

Its hard though when someone has an established pattern that you'd love but will never be given because they have it. I gave up my friday off recently for a colleague with a baby as I feel I've "had my turn" & mind are both at school anyway.

I worked in a team once where an older colleague with teenagers had apparently "baggsied" certain school holiday weeks forever. We weren't all allowed off at the same time. It took someone going to HR to overturn (HR were horrified).

She will get used to it, I used to do three days and have Friday and Monday off which everyone was envious of, but I found everyone they were absolutely full on squashing everything into those days, calls, meetings, catch up etc.

DD does compressed hours, she has Thursday off which is the least popular day off, as she was last one in. She has grown to love it, she does three long days then has a day off, then does a Friday which is generally steady, then off for two.

She’s BVU. Everyone else’s working hours are none of her concern. If you choose to work every other Tuesday for half an hour, it’s got fuck all
to do with her. Ignore.

She can take her passive aggressive comments comments and fuck all the way off!

"She should have had children years ago if she wanted different non-working days!"

PLEASE don't make hurtful blanket statements like this. You have no knowledge of why the colleague had children now. (I removed the rest of my comment about triple heartbreak pregnancy stories because I doubt you meant to be so unthinking.)

FWIW I don't think the OP is being unreasonable, either.

She sounds really entitled. She has no right to demand other people reorganise their lives for her. If she wants to work Tues to fri she can look for another job.

Don't change anything op.

Are you actually unclear as to whether or not the number of days you choose to work has got anything to do with her? Really? I just don’t buy it…

I used to work in a call center type job and my day off was friday. Some of my colleagues with children tried to guilt me into swapping but I stuck to my friday. I had been there longer and its not for newer staff to dictate what more established members should do. I was also guilted because I "had no children". Your decision to have kids was yours and you are subsidized by my taxes. So tough titty.

I don't think this is a problem for Mothers to solve though.

Stick to your guns and don't budge.
You owe her nothing. She is not your problem.

And, on bank holiday weeks, only works 3 days in total!
I would consider swapping if there was a good reason, eg her family could only babysit certain days/her nursery only had availibility certain days. Otherwise, I don't see why it makes a difference if her kids are older or younger, OP. For all she knows, your children could have additional needs meaning childcare organisation is more difficult.

When I had DD, part time hours had just become a thing, 20 years ago. I worked Mon-Thur 12.30-5.15pm, then when she started school I worked 9.30am-2.15pm. Everyone else worked full time. Then there was a merger, a pregnancy in our department & on return new mum decided she wanted same days & hours as me. When she got turned down she went to HR. She stopped talking to me & eventually she got pushed out/left. Another merge, I upped my hours over 5 days & after 2 years I got bullied out by my 2 managers. Moral of story: keep your head down, do as you're not told, don't make waves & don't stick up for yourself. I'd seen what they did to my ex colleague so I saw it coming.

YANBU I actually found the Wednesday a much better day off when my children were small.

It’s not your responsibility

She's lucky enough she has a part-time job with a day off a week. If it's not suitable, she's free to look elsewhere. That is not your problem. You are in a job you like, and that works for you.

I have kids, but people who play the "I have children" card to get away with things or claim special circumstances piss me off. EVERYONE has a life. You owe her nothing.

I do agree with people, I much prefer Wednesdays off 😂 She's nuts.

I would be happy with a wed off, mid week break and don't lose bank holidays.

She can allude all she likes! Basically, she wants things changed to suit her, never mind if it doesn't suit you!

Why are you even making this your problem. Did she point at you and say all of this to? Did she point at you and ask you to swap? If not, then stop looking for problems and move on.
you have a 4 year old, that’s not grown up. I have a 4yo and if someone said that around me, it would not even register that they meant me as I do not have grown up children. And if she did say that to me I would tell her to go to hr and that it is not to be made my issue.

If I had a Monday or Friday off, no way would I give it up. If the manager decides to review everyone’s days and this changes, then that’s upto them. But no responsibility for you to give up your day that works for you.

She sounds entitled. Do not indulge her, she will only get worse.

You are not being unreasonable at all. Don’t start that game of allowing her to believe that ‘new parent’ trumps all. What will happen, for example , if she wants specific holidays and they’re already taken? If she stays in her role long enough someone will move on allowing her to move up in the choosing days off pecking order.

I'm another who had Wednesday off, it actually worked better for me than monday/friday. It was dedicated to admin and chores inside and outside the house, I then felt we had a proper "weekend"
Don't feel pressured into changing your pattern, some new parents sometimes feel a little entitled they get over this eventually or when baby number 2 arrives lol.