AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

Hey, what do you mean? OP still gets bank hols as these have to be taken on a non-day off (she will just book it another day). If her contracts states she has bank hols off, she still gets them.

You can't take hol on a day off so it gets pushed to another day. Or did you mean something else?

No-one should be obliged to change their work pattern based on someone else's choices regarding family, and I include new and existing parents in that

There's no reason for you to feel guilty or pressured into giving up your non-working day, whatever day of the week it is. You've structured your family life around your NWD and that's that. She'll have to wait until a Mon or Fri comes up IE if someone leaves or wants to change their NWD.

In her eyes your kids are grown up. Little does she know how much hardening logistics and time it will be as they get older and are in the school system with school holidays. Activities, etc etc etc! A Wednesday off with a baby / toddler age is quite nice, I did it. The downside is if she travels to visit family as she loses out on a slightly longer weekend. But that isn’t your issue. If you’re challenged by your boss just say you have your schedule confirmed around a Monday off for the year ahead

Not unreasonable, you were just lucky colleagues hadn't taken all the Mondays when you wanted a day off. A Wednesday isn't a great a day off we can all acknowledge that.

If anything you need the Monday off more than her as you have 3 kids and will have things to catch up with after the weekend. If there’s only a Wednesday available to her that’s what she will have to accept. I’ve recently changed my day off from a Monday to a Thursday and I’m regretting it already as I look after my grandchildren at the weekends, at my age I could do with the Monday to recharge my batteries rather than getting up early to go to work !

cant see what difference it makes. Kids are in school or nursery Mon-Fri so any of those 5 days off should help her

I did the same thing. I really loved my mid-week day off with dd.

I bet she was one of those people who moaned about parents having to take time off for children's sickness and booking holidays in school.holiday time.
It's all different now she has her own child and obviously she is the only one to have given birth!.
No dont give her anything. I bet she wouldn't change her days for anyone.

There is literally nothing on this earth could get me to give up Mondays off if I had that working pattern.
Wedois a good day to have off though so don't know what she's complaining about.

Ten years time she’ll be wondering at people with newborns wanting same! If Monday suits you don’t feel guilty but have a think about Wednesday, it’s lovely doing the school run midweek when you’ve been in work the days before!

It’s more helpful as a parent with school age children to have a Monday off.
setimes during the school year there are Mondays off ( bank holidays etc) that don’t align with work holidays. Some organisations take different days off.
So we ended up having to take annual leave anyway to cover this.
when they are very young at nursery, the nursery had greater flexibility. Yanbu

Yes she does, she’ll get extra annual leave to compensate like I do.

the new mum will pay about £500 a year for nursery days on Monday back holidays that she doesn’t use so I can understand the upset. She can also not go on long weekends away. But it’s nicer for baby to have a mummy day mid week. Not op problem though. You could do her a kindness and occasionally swap with her if she wants a weekend away with baby?

Also, it’s not like your children are even that old! She’s doing the classic thing that new parents do of assuming EVERYTHING gets easier and falls in to place as they get older (I did this too). Lots of things get easier, they sleep and put their own shoes on and use the toilet. But childcare options change (can’t just drop them at nursery for your whole working day), they join clubs and teams, they need ferrying around, they need help with different things. The childcare pressures actually get harder on the parents when kids start school. She just sees her tiny baby versus the walking talking ones you have and assumes they need you less- they don’t, they just need different things.

Your colleage is being manipulative. No need to explain - she is the newcomer to the four day week arrangement and your work life balance/age of your kids or any other decision is none of her business. Personally, I would prefer having a Wednesday off.

To be honest, with small children I’d rather have the Wednesday off, if no one is sleeping you only ever have two days of work to manage before a day off. I definitely found it better to have the week broken up at that stage.

She’s just jealous you won’t get the long weekend. Her problem not yours. Stand your ground.

Wednesday is the best day!!

I’m with everyone saying Wednesday is the better day off anyway - regular breaks from work and parenting.

But no, of course you shouldn’t change your day off if you don’t want to. If she’s not happy it’s between her and her management to solve.

You get it given back to you pro rata.

Is she just letting off steam because she's disappointed or is she being actively unkind?

I think it's unprofessional to moan a lot anyway but people (including me) do sometimes let our internal thoughts out into the world.

I agree with people saying Wednesday is the better day.
Easier week mentally. Fridays and Mondays are most expensive travel days. Fridays are too busy, Monday lots of places don't open.

Surely with a young child it doesn’t really make much difference and Wednesday is probably a better day to break up the week (unless you typically have lots of meeting on Wednesdays/ works busy and she probably can’t actually have the full day off)

Ignore her. I was pt as a teacher for years and my day off changed every year depending on what produced the least split classes on my timetable. I was just just grateful they let me have whole days off because it teaching part time can mean 4 days but spread over 5 in the most inconvenient way possible.

Absolutely not unreasonable in either respect as it’s your life and choice. I had Wednesdays off when daughter was little which I I loved but when she was at secondary school was asked to switch to Friday off as work
preferred me to have 4 consecutive days and I waa okwith doing so. I continued to work 4 days until daughter was 18 as was now some time for me - I then dropped to 3 days as a wind down to retirement!

Actually think Monday is the shittest deal of the bunch thanks to bank holidays… Wouldn’t mind a Wednesday.