Catholic guilt?

I'm just saying to get over it.

And that all that 'Ooh, Catholic guilt' stuff largely comes from the same brand of tired external stereotype as 'Convent girls are begging for it' and 'Nuns and priests are secretly at it like knives'.

I don't think it is necessarily true or fair to say it is a "you" problem, as some posters are.

I think that it has much to do with how Catholicism was taught. I was taught that I needed to examine my conscience and that guilt was my conscience prompting me to change my behaviour, as it meant that I was straying from the path of true Catholic observance. So guilt was very much used as a tool in my upbringing, both at home and at school, to help enforce what was seen as good Catholic behaviour. I was regularly reminded that even if my parents / teachers could not observe my conscience, God could and therefore there was no hiding from him. I think that kind of messaging repeated constantly for 14 years could result in some unhealthy beliefs. You only have to google "Catholic Guilt" to see that it is a thing suffered by many people - so not just the poster and me!!!!

It’s great that many people who went through a Catholic upbringing are absolutely fine. However I think it’s a bit rude to come on this thread and assert 100% confidently that there is no way that religious messaging about us all being inherently sinful, God knowing your innermost thoughts, going to hell if you break the rules etc., could possibly have had a long lasting impact on OP and it’s entirely her own problem, nothing to do with religion. Especially as some others say they have similar feelings.
Having said that, it would probably be useful to OP to think about whether family relationships etc growing up may have contributed to this as well.

And yet I and several other posters on the thread had extremely devout Catholic upbringings and educations (my parents were both daily massgoers, we had the rosary in the evenings, I was a member of the Legion of Mary, I was at a convent school from 4 to eighteen) and have none of this 'crushing' guilt.

That's you, not Catholicism.

I went to a private Catholic convent for 3 years. I’m not Catholic. Luckily after I got in trouble the nuns thought I was damned anyway so I don’t have the guilt. My Catholic Irish (lapsed) stepdad has the guilt though, altar boy in west of Ireland, he stopped attending church at age 12. I don’t actually think my Catholic school friends and boyfriend (all Catholic) have much guilt to be fair. None of them go to mass regularly but do church for christenings, funerals and weddings. Even my best friend who worked for a Catholic diocese, well she has guilt but that’s partly due to bullying at work, she won’t set foot inside a church now, so it’s not really due to her upbringing. My stepdad and step grandmother were/are always making jokes about it, especially if a priest had an affair, children, that sort of thing. My stepdad jokes about the rub of the relic.

This is exactly why I despise religion.

Guilt is very much part of being raised a catholic. Some are lucky to let it wash over them but the guilt aspect is definitely a big part of the religion. At least it was when I was growing up in the 60s/70s. Perhaps its loosened its grip, thankfully I’ve had nothing to do with it for many years so don’t know if its modernised to be more palatable.

Just you. I went to a catholic school and suffered no ill treatment from anyone unless you count a nasal overdose of Old Spice due to a male teacher drowning himself in it. No religious indoctrination, or at least none that stuck.

Scottish Presbyterianism works on a similar principle (state school in Scotland).

I was brought up a catholic and the guilt can really fuck with your personal growth. I eventually dumped it (took a long time to feel brave enough to do it). I’m now athiest, feel very much better in myself and brought my own children up with no religion to let them make their own minds up. They are so much more confident and at ease than I ever was growing up with the threat of hell or purgatory over every minor mistake I might make (not so much my parents but church and other more zealous relatives).

I despise the catholic church and still occasionally have imaginary conversations with my (long dead) relatives that I wish I had been brave enough to have back then. And imaginary arguments I wish I’d had with the priests at Catechism that I wasn’t old enough or insightful enough to have back then.

The catholic religion is designed to keep you obedient and scared. (As are most religions).

I'm lefthanded and went to a Catholic primary and then a convent grammar. I remember at 5 yrs old one of the nuns walking between the desks and came to me writing with my left hand. She knocked the pencil out of my hand and shouted at five year old me using my left hand was a sign of the devil. I had been 'warned' before to use my right hand, but l wasn't disobeying her it was a subconscious thing to use my left hand without thinking.l was such a bag of nerves after that l picked up my pencil off the floor and started using my left hand, again without thinking. I then got a smack round the head for that.

Born in Ireland, raised by catholic parents with only catholic people around us and went to primary and secondary school in catholic schools. I feel guilty about nothing, am a very happy atheist and raising my kids agnostic. Catholicism is bloody hypocrisy and no religion or belief system should make you feel guilty for living your own life.

Being Catholic doesn't come with guilt.

It's like blaming any other religion for the shit choices people choose to make.

I went to a catholic primary school and a catholic high school. I’ve had a communion, but always thought it was shite. I’m religious but not monotheistic or catholic. I always questioned everything, why are we being forced into confession? I’ve got nothing to confess I’m 8 years old!! As soon as you start questioning it you lose faith and you lose the guilt.

I think OP is Catholic anyway, not just her schooling

I attended Catholic school during infants and went regularly to church and confessions, no guilt from then. I pulled away as a teen and in my 20s started an interest in the Jehovahs witnesses, now that was really hard to walk away from, the fear if you did, then your babies blood would be on your hands, was the worst. Although, the congregation were genuinely lovely people. I came away after a couple of years, but it took me years to not be frightened of armageddon and all my family members who would not see paradise. I am in my 60s now and will still get a twang of fear now and then. I've been going to Catholic Church for a while and it really comforts me.

@Felixfox having been raised in a Catholic household and endured Catholic primary & secondary school, I can sympathise. Of course not everyone will have had horrible childhood religious experiences, but some do and it sounds like your experience was not a happy one - mine neither.

I've had lots of therapy, as my childhood was not just Catholic but also very abusive and it really does help. It allowed me to see that I am safe now and that as an adult I have a choice about what I believe and don't believe. I have been able to let go of the fear based religious conditioning (including the crushing guilt) that was such a huge part of my childhood & belief system. If you have the chance and the funds, I would recommend it.

I was Catholic schooled from 3 to 16, and I have no lingering guilt.

I don't feel guilty in the same way as a lot of you, but I still, aged 48 worry about going to hell and being in a burning environment for all eternity.

Weirdly I don't believe in God or heaven! But the devil and hell? Yep!

I was catholic educated from 4-18.

3 years at school doesn't make you Catholic.

You are remembering bad incidents/people in and blaming them for how you process things now. This isn't because he was a Priest or your being Catholic.

Kindly, you need to get some help.

Wow. 2 pages with dense text. This for kids :

"For Children Was I disobedient to my parents? Did I neglect to help my parents when my help was needed? Did I treat my parents with little affection or respect? Did I react proudly when I was corrected by my parents? Did I have a disordered desire for independence? Did I do my chores? "

That boded line especially.

It does tie in with the Bible though. Here is a Mosaic law on the subject of a rebellious son. Daughters don't matter really it seems. They were possessions.

Deu 21:18-21:" When a man has a son apostatizing and being rebellioushe is not listening to the voice of his father and to the voice of his mother, and they have disciplined him, and he does not listen to themthen his father and his mother have laid hold on him, and they have brought him out to [the] elderly of his city, and to the gate of his place, and have said to [the] elderly of his city, Our sonthis oneis apostatizing and being rebellious; he is not listening to our voice--a glutton and drunkard.

Then all the men of his city have stoned him with stones and he has died, and you have put away the evil out of your midst, and all Israel hears and fears."

Although that one is not children specific. There is no age condition. But yeah. Wayward son ? Get the stones out and stone him to death.

I’m Catholic and the guilt is crushing.

Difficult to describe unless you’ve been there. It’s not guilt over a specific thing, more an existential kind of guilt - why am I here when other people aren’t? Am I good enough to deserve the things I have? If I spend money/enjoy myself too much/get complacent, no doubt something will happen to punish my folly.

I even have (and had) nuns and priests in my extended family - so they take it seriously, obviously, but they all know I think it's ridiculous, and are quite cool with that. My own kids have never been near a church except to visit nice ones, and I (we) never dreamed of having them christened. I'm not anti-religion, and I know it's fundamental (pardon the pun) to many people's lives. And I support anyone's right to follow whatever religion they choose. But as far as possible, I try not to let it impinge on my own life.
However, I actively campaign to get/keep all religion out of education and politics. It has no reason to be a part of either.

Most primary schools in Ireland are Catholic, so the parish priest is the patron of the school and is involved with the interview process of teachers, I grew up in the west of Ireland so went to my local one can't say I feel guilty and consider myself ex Catholic now . Don't really give it a thought like yourself, I don't think most people raised the same as myself do either

On the website of my local church it says

Confessions are heard on Saturdays (10:30-11:30 & 17:15-17:50), on Sundays (during the 10:00 Mass), and by appointment/on request. An examination of conscience which can be used to prepare is available here.

https://www.johnthebaptistpurley.org.uk/

I would be feeling permanently guilty if I had to worry about everything on that examination of conscience page! 😮

Not Biblical ?

So original sin is not a Biblical concept ? That all are born from sin.

As for kids. 2Kings 2:23-24 has the prophet Elisha being mocked for being bald by youths. The youths are then eaten by bears.

Loads in the Bible like that.

Psalm 137:9. Blessed will be one who seizes and dashes your children Against the rock. (NAV)

That's a Psalm about genocide.