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Original poster

Catholic guilt?

264 replies

Felixfox · 22/05/2026 00:31

I only went to catholic school for 3 years (first 3 years of school) and I am CONSTANTLY feelingly guilty . Is it the school or just me? It was a terrible place. I remember one of the fathers coming into our classroom just as a pupil was leaving as he was feeling sick. Father promptly sent him back to his desk for us all to pray, this boy was physically sick but we had to carry on with the prayer. His parting shot was a question. To a bunch of 6 year olds. Do you all pray before bed at night? We all mumbled yes. To which he replied,’Good, because otherwise you will go to hell.’ It scared the crap out of me. V complicated story with parents and my brother and I going there. My mother was a nun and left
’God will never forgive you’ and so maybe to usage some hideous and unfair guilt from that was to send us to a catholic school. The point is, I am nearly 50 and I still feel guilty all the time about pretty much anything. Will it go? I’ve tried counseling. What do I do? How do you leave a part of yourself behind?

OP posts:
BreakingBroken · 22/05/2026 02:11

i'm catholic but in canada and i don't know why but posts about catholicism on mn are so supper strict.
the nuns i had were so easy going and understanding, the priests and monks super helpful. there are some really aware online priests and nuns to follow.
i really like the simplicity of sister on fb mary jo sobieck. it doesn't sound like this is what you are looking for but maybe if you listen to those who are progressive it may help you.
never once thought about god watching in a creepy way, just available to help us pick up and continue to strive towards wisdom. he knows why we made the choices we did (like the stupid teen shit most teens do) and forgives.
before hell is purgatory again where we have a chance to come clean and receive forgiveness.
most priest are very open to the realities of the world, temptation and working through trouble.
in my books, holding on to fears and worries wondering if you are forgiven and that terrible guilt is the work of the devil, because god forgives.

but as you say you found the experience traumatic and it may stem from your mom life and none of this may be of help.

Bananainpyjamas1980 · 22/05/2026 01:33

The guilt isn't yours to harbour .

Original poster
Felixfox · 22/05/2026 01:26

Yes it does. And thank you for responding x

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Elishiva · 22/05/2026 01:15

It sounds like you need specialised counselling.
I was brought up anti religious, or secular,
I’ve don’t things I still feel guilty about but it doesn’t consume me, more like I thinK of those things when I’m having a bad time and being hard on myself, I’m not scared of being judged or going to hell, I don’t believe in hell.
it doesn’t sound like you’ve actually done a thing to feel guilty about?
which probably makes it more complex in a way.

Original poster
Felixfox · 22/05/2026 01:02

Well that’s exactly it. When I look logically at my guilt it is mostly ridiculous. I think it might stem from my first confession. I honestly couldn’t think of anything I’d done wrong so I just said I had been rude to my parents. It was a lie to meet the priest happy. Although of course it didn’t and I all the more bemused to think that saying 5 hail Mary’s and the Lord’s Prayer would somehow fix something I had never even done!🫣

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custardlover · 22/05/2026 00:57

I went to catholic school for 14 years with plenty of nuns and strictness and a very strong Catholic family life and don’t feel a jot of guilt about my life! Why would I? What are you feeling guilty for?

Original poster
Felixfox · 22/05/2026 00:57

I suppose what I’m asking though is how do I let it go? How do I leave it behind. I don’t want it. It serves no purpose. How thou?! How does a person rid themselves of guilt? That is of their own imaginings?

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Original poster
Felixfox · 22/05/2026 00:53

Indeed 🤮

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Original poster
Felixfox · 22/05/2026 00:52

I am so sorry for your friend. That just adds a whole heap of guilt upon guilt upon guilt. I hope she finds her soul mate and woman for life.

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Original poster
Felixfox · 22/05/2026 00:50

That is me in a nutshell!

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Somethingbland · 22/05/2026 00:46

I was brought up in a Protestant high church family, so although not a Catholic I can identify with this because religion really inhibited me for a lot of my life.

It was instilled in me that God could not only see everything I did but God also knew every thought I had. I found this terrifying and so guilty for any thoughts about sex or anything else I had been taught was not pure.

It took me many years to free myself of this feeling my thoughts were not private.

Religion really messed with my head OP so I can empathise with your Catholic guilt.

InterestedDad37 · 22/05/2026 00:41

I went to a Catholic primary school, and came out totally unscathed and unaffected by it all. I never took religion seriously, and all the god stuff was just part of being in that environment. It was otherwise a decent school.

Diamond7272 · 22/05/2026 00:34

The Catholic schools I know, the priests have largely spent long periods of times at her majesty's pleasure not on normal court exercise.

I think they're the ones who should feel guilt, not the pupils. The creepy things that went on, decade after decade, cover up after cover up...

Be grateful to be away from them...

tryandbepositive · 22/05/2026 00:33

My friend is catholic and gay and I’d say it pretty much ruined her life, the deep sense of guilt. No matter what assurance she got it still remained. So sad.

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