Catholic guilt?

As a Catholic I don’t have any guilt. For one God forgives & secondly if he is judging there are far more in the queue before me!

God is love! (1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:16)
He is certainly not in the business of sending 6 years olds to hell for not saying their prayers - those misguided messages you heard at school, OP, were not Biblical!

This. Plus I also essentially lived in a theocracy, as well as an extremely devout family and a convent school. I grew out of it in my teens, like most people.

I’m in my fifties and my cradle Catholicism is primarily significant in understanding religious imagery in poems and recognising saints in paintings because of their attributes. I’m certainly not weighed down by guilt or the idea that I’m being judged by some invisible deity.

I feel the same @custardlover I went to Catholic schools from nursery through to 16 and am still Catholic/am bringing the DC up Catholic.

I think it will depend a lot on how old you are, and where you are from how the religion was practised/how strict it was...as a silly example, my childhood experience of a lot of religious festivals in Italy is first there is a procession/mass but then there is always a giant shared meal/party (and often randomly
a tombola). So over time the thing I remember most is the sense of community.

@Felixfox I'm so sorry to hear about the damaging experiences you had at school.
Please know that God so loves the world that he sent his one and only son to die for our sins! (John 3:16)
The wonderful truth is that everyone who believes that Jesus is the son of God and was raised from the dead on the third day: shall not perish but shall have eternal life in heaven!
God did not send his son into the world to condemn us, but to save us! (John 3:17)
God doesn't want any humans to go to hell.

You describe feeling guilty for no reason: you can surrender those feelings to God and he will take them away! He doesn't want you to feel guilty, He wants to have a loving relationship with all his children! Jesus already died for our sins - the ransom has been paid!

God loves you, and he doesn't want you to carry these negative feelings. Jesus said "come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will bring you peace".

I'd suggest re-posting this in the mumsnet Christian chat as you may get more supportive responses.
Also, a Christian counselling service may be helpful to work through the misplaced feelings of guilt.

Sending love and blessings

I too went to catholic school and have guilt and feel bad about everything. Or rather ‘had’. I went to a therapist who explained I’m actually a people pleaser due to the upbringing I had which was valued in certain achievements, including the way I look, fitting in with my parents expectations, etc. I would still never get a tattoo to this day because of what my mum would say…I’m mid 40’s.
So the work I’ve done at therapy was rather a focus on the parenting I had, which in your case will be far more influential than impactful than 3 years at school. Could that be the case for you?
Now I am still Catholic but in my own way and on my own terms. For example I pray and say thanks to God, but have very little respect for priests.
Hope this helps somewhat x

As your school has left such a deep impression of guilt I’d probably look at trying to move towards a more modern, progressive Catholicism. Maybe look at the book used in many RCIA courses these days (Sycamore), by Father Stephen Wang. If you wanted to keep your faith it might be helpful, if you didn’t then it will help with a perspective on the core values of Catholicism without the punitive spin on it from the past.

My dc goes to a catholic primary school and I wish I didn’t send her there. Even though it isn’t the same as years ago most teachers/staff have a real nasty streak and a lot of the learning is based around religion. If she didn’t have such an amazing group of friends I’d move her to another school.

You say you went to Catholic school for the first 3 years … so why were you doing your first confession (reconciliation)?
Also, can I ask when this was ? I’m in my 50s now and went to Catholic school, and it was nothing like this.
I’ve been a Governor at a Catholic High School for the best part of 10 years, and again, nothing like you describe .. in fact under Catholic School Guidelines (and DFE guidance) this behaviour would not be allowed. We have Pride Week, we teach about other religions, and it’s all about forgiveness and acceptance rather than guilt.

It would be good to have a bit more context around your timescale, and your relationship with religion now.

Why not ?

If someone has religious hangups of any sort, then dump the religion.

I will say though, for many it has to be done carefully. Because one usually does go through the 5 stages of change when de-converting.

And of course "moral guilt" is a real thing. Because morals and ethics are not actually tied to any religion. So if someone religious is seeking freedom from guilt for doing things that are illegal in a secular society, then that is a different thing.

But for run of the mill religious hangups, breaking the shackles of religion that bind one is a fantastic thing to do.

dumping or ignoring won’t help her process it and move forward even if moving forward is to athiesm.

Atheism might work for the OP too.

It works for me.

Suffering in religious guilt as a result of indoctrination as a child. Dump religion. It's the best solution really.

@RedTagAlan the OP isn’t a child, and I’m only pointing out should she wish there are some progressive catholic (sisters in this case) and priests who might help her reconcile her past to the present.

I was raised catholic and went to church every Sunday, all the holy days, stopped going when I left home
We got married abroad, not in a church, local mayors office, on the quiet-I hate a big fuss, being the centre of attention.
We had children and I took them to church, they are baptised catholic, only one was confirmed.
I have left the church, our 2nd DS came out at 14, I love him and I wont be dictated to by any religion about it.
I felt guilty about most things in my life, I assume because of the catholic church but just these last few years I have decided that I don't actually care anymore.
As long as my children are “ok” then nothing else matters to me, I try my best to be a good person, I think about how lovely my parents were
I haven't studied any other religions much but my overall impression is that all of them are fundamentally misogynistic and I cant bear that.

Here is an alternate.

If my DD has nightmares about monsters under her bed, The thing to do is to reassure here that there are no monsters. That these monsters do not exist.

But what does Christianity do ?

It says there are monsters, and the monsters want to catch you and toss you into eternal fire. But you can fight the monsters by saying magic words to a magic man in the sky.

It's really no wonder that religion can, and does, mess people up.

Edit to add, the magic man in the sky also says he will toss you into the fire.

As long as you're happy, that's great 👍

I mentioned parts of the Bible in response to a post suggesting to read stories in the Bible that are different to what is taught.

Now, if someone is suffering from religious guilt and they suspect it is from religious indoctrination as a child, I would have thought the best course of action would be to tell the truth. That is, that there is no God, no Satan, no burning hell for eternity.

There is no Jesus with a clipboard standing over people's shoulders, ticking off good and bad bits that decide eternity for that person.

In fact, as evidence for that I will use the Bible. 1 Tim 2:12: "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." (KJV).

Applying a bit of logic to that. If a woman teaches a man (context: religion?), then any woman teaching a man is committing a sin, per their own teachings. Therefore, because women teaching religion to men is a sin, the teachers are breaking their own laws without fear of hell. Thus if they are breaking their own rules, then nobody needs to pay heed to any of their rules.

Does that logic make sense ?

It does to me.

You don't know what was taught beyond what has been shared. You threw out parts of the Bible to attempt to publicly discredit my belief in God. But, I'm here to support OP. Please try to do the same as to not derail the thread.

I am not sure what that means. But surely if anyone thinks they may have been scarred by any religious education, then the conversation is open to the whole thing ?

For example. If the OP had attended a Satanic school and the OP felt that had affected their life, then what is taught at such a school would be discussed.

Things written about doesn't equate to God's approval. Here for OP support only.

I think the story of Jephthah from Judges 11 should be taught. The one about the daughter who is sacrificed.

Or the stories about Abraham pimping his wife out.

Or the multiple genocides, the slave laws, the dashing of babies against rocks.

All the good stuff... if one is a sadistic lunatic.

:-)

Quote " it doesn't sound like this is what you are looking for but maybe if you listen to those who are progressive it may help you."

Why would school kids be looking for anything religious? They are kids. And it is adults who are literary putting the fear of God into them with religious indoctrination.

@custardlover then you are / have been impervious to the whole point of Catholicism. Lucky you. Here's 10 Hail Marys and 3 Lord's Prayer to save us all from the depravity....did you enjoy the nuns whipping your shins if you skipped in a corridor ?

Read the bible and pray. You will find a different story there than the one you were taught. 💖

Hi OP, I'm not Catholic but C of E. I realised a lot of my guilt (And like PP was told God heard all my thoughts!) is actually me not feeling worthy enough of going to Heaven, so going to hell. Could you be feeling the same?