To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

But you’re not making the stand you seem to think you are.

Agreed. I teach adults but they’re 18-22 usually and not even remotely attractive to me, still like kids really. If a man can’t help but stare at a child’s body, well we have a word for that.

So no swimming for girls because....male teachers? This is appalling OP ...if you see children as sexual temptation you shouldn't be teaching.

Controlling your attraction to someone is not something that the person being looked at is responsible for...

Young men with trousers slipping around their hips, visible knickers, ...nope no reaction in me ..because I don't have a sexual attraction for children

I agree and my DC’s school has a no crop top/no mini skirt / no mini shorts sort of rule which is fine but it isn’t to stop leering old men staring at them ffs.

Remembering what it was like at school, I think left to their own devices with no oversight, many girls would wear completely inappropriate clothing for non uniform or even uniform day. Most schools have to tell girls to unroll their skirts on a regular basis and my understanding is this has been happening for decades.

So yeah school kids need to be told to make their outfits appropriate.

Not fair to single your daughter out though.

I sincerely doubt any school is going to take a single girl saying this once too seriously (yes, they’ll investigate, but there won’t be much evidence). If multiple girls are saying this, I’d say there is a teacher problem, not a false accusation issue.

It must be difficult not to look at a child’s breasts, yes.

I think its more about the fit. A well fitting vest shouldnt show anymore cleavage on a bigger busted girl than a well fitted vest on a smaller chested girl - but unfortunately some girls with bigger busts wear things that are basically too small for them because they want it to look fitted on their waist and hips and as a result it's too small on the bust area and showing a lot of cleavage.

Could it be OP that a bigger size vest that can accommodate a bigger bust without ending up with inches of cleavage on show is the answer?

I've got a big bust and do need to wear a bigger sized vest.

I’m not a man and I don’t want to teach anyone whose underwear is on show, breasts are on show, midriff is on show, regardless if they are male or female,

Struggling not to get accused of being a paedophile because they glanced at a girl with her boobs out.

Well obviously, many school rules are hard and fast ones because they previously had more leeway and kids took the piss so a blanket rule that’s clear to everyone and easy to understand (for students, parents and teachers) are brought in.

Because “smart casual” ended up with scruffy and/or overly revealing clothing, most moved to insisting on suits over the last 15-20 years. Everyone knows where they stand with “suit”.

Luckily both my dcs schools still have own clothes days, but 2 local secondary schools have stopped them altogether.

Poor men struggling not to be paedophiles.

When I was in year 8 I wore a short skirt to school because I was a kid and thought I was being grown up. My male history teacher who was only a decade older than us made a big song and dance out of it in class and asked the “cool girl” in the year if she’d dare wear a skirt like mine to which she obviously sneered and said “of course not” … I was completely
mortified. He then asked if I was worried about boys looking up it on the stairwell.

Looking back it was super super weird and made me deeply uncomfortable at the time. You’re right to be concerned here OP, I think it’s gross. I recommend the song Above the Neck by Sofia Isella as a side note, it explains precisely the dilemma women and girls under the male gaze constantly find themselves in.

Jesus christ. Poor adult men, not knowing its wrong to gawp at children.

And she would have every right to do so! No matter what her daughter wears

How often do teenagers get to ‘make a stand’? Fair enough if she has used one of her few opportunities to do so, more likely she just thought she looked nice.
And I absolutely think mumsnet is the perfect place for me to ‘take a stand’ on this issue. Call out outdated norms, ask other to question them and articulate my point. So no, I have not missed the point, but I suspect you may have.

I bet the OP would be the first one on to the school to raise a complaint if her daughter came home saying a male teacher was leering at her.

I feel sorry for male teachers. It must be a minefield these days.

I totally get that in some workplaces you have a dress code, but not in all. And this was a non-uniform day. The op has not stated any guidance was given of what to wear or not. And people are simply saying ‘it’s not approapriate’, that is what I am arguing. Not whether she broke school rules or not 🤦‍♀️

I think telling girls to dress more 'professionally' is fine, but using men as the reason is really grim. People get outraged at all men being painted as perverts, yet this is the message children are being sent.

You should absolutely complain about the teacher who said that.

It's misogyny clear and simple - your daughter, a child, has been made responsible for the potential predatory behaviour of adult males who are also bound by the position of trust they hold.

It's victim blaming in advance.

Not in my workplace. I've seen someone sent home to change from a vest top - a man, incidentally - clothes that are too revealing are not acceptable for either sex.

Yeah. You don't really understand what 'appropriate' means.

😂

I think you are missing a fundamental point. We live in a society. Now, we might not agree with society’s rules, we might want to change them and may/ should sometimes take a stand against them. But we also need to learn how to live as part of that society. School is about learning about how to one day go out into the big wide world as a valuable and valued member of society. Therefore schools set rules based upon wider societal understanding and expectation. They teach us how to be a member of a society. A non-uniform day (according to expectations and any rules a school may set) is not giving children a chance to show off, it’s asking them to dress for the situation.

Do I agree with all of our societies rules and expectations? No. Do I make a stand at any and every opportunity? No.

I might agree, for instance, with a lot of what the ‘free the nipple’ people say, but I don’t think that they are for a moment saying that we should all walk around boobs out everywhere we go.

We all of us adapt in some way to different situations. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Irrespective of big tits or small tits; Who in their right mind thinks that a vest top is a appropriate for school?

Who told your dd to cover up op?
If it was another teacher I’d be furious. They must have a very low opinion of the male teachers if they think pupils wearing vest tops could cause an issue.
Telling females to cover up to protect them from males, and this is what was being implied, is just awful, yet again blaming the females for the males reactions