To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

Ah, historically it was done so it must always be done? No possible way to change behaviour to be more respectful?

It is not some thing. It is part of a human being. My nose is not covered up but I do not expect strangers to be staring up it doing bogey checks. My eyes are not covered up but I do not expect strangers to be staring into them like lovers.

Directing a fixed stare is rude.

Men need to be taught modesty.

She dressed like an Amsterdam sex worker.

Looking around, noticing it and then carrying on with your day is very different to "looking at" something. Looking at suggests prolonged viewing, not just catching a glimpse of something.

I'm "looking at" my daughter at the moment and that means watching her (she's 4 and has a glue stick, she needs watching). I SAW the dog walk past but I wasn't "looking at" her.

The question perhaps is why is the girl wearing a very low cut top, or flashing their knickers and bum.

I was walking behind some girls from our local school and honestly - I have to ask why dress like that. One girl - you could see her thong. Why are they doing it if not to get attention?

Since Adam was a lad, young men and young women have eyed each other up.

Actually, given that her arse was almost-apart from her arsehole-on full display, I would have been amazed if he hadn't looked!

Some of these puritanical posts-laughable!

You remind me of the mum off mean girls

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom”

🙄 it’s your job to teach your daughter about the world. If she thinks she’ll be taken seriously in a job interview wearing hot pants and a crop top she won’t. Just because you’re chill, a lot of us expect dress standards in different settings. I wouldn’t want my Dr with all their bits out for example.

To be fair, is it always 'perving' to look at something that's being displayed in public?

If it's wrong to look at something, shouldn't the person cover it up? If I don't want people looking at my arse, then having it uncovered is rather counterproductive. The only reason to show my arse is if I want people to look at it.

ETA: Staring for ages is weird. Just as staring at a person's face for ages would be weird. But just looking briefly (long enough to go "Jesus, is that her whole arse out? Fucking hell, it is, she's just got her whole arse hanging out" before looking away again) doesn't seem like an issue.

You accused the girl of putting herself in the shop window.

You also treated her like a piece of meat or an Amsterdam sex worker.

This is misogyny.

What was he looking at her for then? Why is acceptable to stare at anyone, regardless of what they're wearing?

I am a big advocate for dressing appropriately for the occasion, but in all honesty it doesn't matter what anyone is wearing, it's up to the person looking to not do it when it's not appropriate.

Guessing you manage to not stare at men or women when they have shorts on? Why is the rule different for men staring at women?

No wonder some kids these days grow up with no resilience. Told off at school for something and they can't cope. Mummy goes running to Mumsnet for validation that poor little princess was treated badly.

I know. It's basic, isn't it? You don't make comments like that. It would be a suspension pending investigation where I work.
I think she's self referred to the SLT though, possibly SL.

I work in an all girls' school....some of them are showing their butt cheeks..

I am a staunch feminist, but there's a happy medium of being appropriate or not. I'd argue that a vest top wouldnt be appropriate for e.g. drama/movement class if they are concerned about straps slipping or showing underwear. Comfortable and practical, not necessarily formal on non uniform day/mufti.

I had a few comments/negative feedback from some work experience 6th form students workplaces for not being aware of, or understanding that e.g. crop tops are not appropriate for the office. So it's good to have expectations at school that prepare them for the workplace.

Otherwise, everyone saying wear what you want all the time is misleading/confusing.

I dont have girls but surely its not appropriate to wear revealing clothes unless its attention seeking and when they get into the workplace they will hopefully know that cant wear just anything. Otherwise why wear a top that shows cleavage if you dont want anyone looking at it.

Last year I was on a a flight back from Turkey and a young women got on with such a low top that the check in agents stopped her getting on. Why would you dress like that unless you wanted attention. In the end people were laughing at her. Its as though she was daring someone to speak to her

I think that you should complain and ask the safeguarding lead if that's a message to give to girls, change your behaviour so men don't react in certain ways to you. I hauled a female teacher over the coals when my DD, who had horrendous Endometriosis and heavy bleeds (hospital intervention from 14) was told to be more discreet, getting a pad out of her bag, when a male teacher is taking the class. They wasn't allowed to take their bags to the toilet.

However, we do have cultural norms around dress, in different circumstances. The skirts are getting too short. Combined with full make up, it screams lack of self esteem. I think that it's better for a girl to be in school, in that state, but we need to be building girls self esteem and countering the message that they need to look like sex dolls. Their male peer group are still hanging around in tracksuits etc. I think girls from some schools/families are being let down.

Bollocks!

Perving! I don't if you have a man in your life but, if you do and you think that he hasn't looked at a woman then he has either milk in his veins or you are living up a mango tree with no idea what the monkeys are doing at the bottom of it!

I hate this, " My shit doesn't stink" type of post.

If by protect you mean - remove all possibility. No of course it doesnt.

Sadly there isnt a guarantee any of us can ensure protection from a predatory person. Which is awful.

But covering up may avoid drawing attention from some.

My Daughter goes to a non uniform school, there are rules around the length of shorts or skirt, low cut tops and crop tops, no tight gym gear for the boys and the girls. A lot of the boys are retro or goth, after school they wear a lot of fishnet tops and spandex but not in school.
Most including DD wear joggers and a t shirt for school.

Oh come on.
People do not offer themselves as indiscriminate spectacles or objects. Gawping is not the same as noticing.
Modesty has to begin in the eye of the beholder.

I'm glad that you self referred.
Are you in a union? Inform them as well, just in case the HT investigates your conversation and takes it further.

It was an utterly idiotic thing for you as a teacher to tell a child they looked 'amazing' in an outfit that was too revealing for school, and that such an outfit suits them! Can't you see how easily this can be misconstrued or twisted to land you and the school in a world of trouble!

Your nephew was perving and was called out.

I see many viewpoints here, however as a large chested woman (G cup) I like to consider whether my body is the first thing people notice or my face. I don’t see it as empowering to walk around with my boobs in peoples faces, I feel no shame about my boobs as I breastfed happily for a long time, even in public. I just don’t want to be known as my boobs in general day to day settings, especially not at work.

Whether you like it or not, in professional settings (of which school is one) you should endeavour that your face is the first thing noticed not your boobs or arse. Same goes for men when they waltz around topless in summer (gross) or wear those awful tight skinny trousers where you can see the outline of genitalia.

It isn’t empowering to most of us to walk around with all your bits out, most revealing clothing is far less comfortable. For sticky school chairs in summer, linen trousers vs a short skirt where your thighs stick to it for example. A loose cotton t shirt is comfier than straps in heat for most of us as straps dig in. So let’s not pretend this was purely about comfort, this was about fashion and making a point which you’re further trying to make.

Your daughter and her friends synced their outfits and peer pressure was at play. Seeing some of the local teen girls around by me, it seems to be the thing. I really don’t understand how these revealing clothes are comfortable and it’s most likely used to garner some form of attention as it does.

The male teacher comment was completely wrong, it should’ve been stated that a lot of us older women (I’m only 30) also feel uncomfortable seeing very young girls with their arses and tits out when I go past school at drop off. I’ve seen so many butt cheeks when walking past the school and it makes me cringe that we still haven’t moved past being wanting to be seen as sexual objects instead of serious competitors to men. Didn’t see any teen boys with their body on show in comparison…

No, it's not and nor is shaming anyone who looks at bits of the body that aren't normally on show

Covering up does not protect.