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AIBU?

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To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

338 replies

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 14:55

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

OP posts:
whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/05/2026 15:01

Agree with pp. Don't let them hijack your day out! Important to lay down these markers else you'll just be resentful on the day and going forward. Unless you actually want their company? If it were me, I would accommodate my son's schedule because I would enjoy a day out with him, but not his girlfriend's because basically then I would just be taking them out, and making small talk.

Flamingojune · 21/05/2026 15:01

They come later, you can follow their journey and guide them over the phone

CanaryLibra · 21/05/2026 15:01

I would tell them “I’m getting the 8am train, you’re welcome to join me and if not I’m happy to have the day to myself and we’ll go again together another time”.

Wrt paying for the train for your DS girlfriend, if you’d invited her I’d say yes it would be nice of you to pay, but given she’s firstly invited herself, and secondly she has a job, then she can pay for her own train.

user1492757084 · 21/05/2026 15:01

You are unreasonable to change your plans so drastically.

Agree to booking a train just slightly later.
Remind DS of the price of the train fare.
You take along or pay for most of the food.

Yes be welcoming and enjoy your beautiful walk and picnic.

minipie · 21/05/2026 15:00

I also wouldn’t pay either of their fares. If it was a day out for you and DS yes you’d shout him his fare as a treat, but it isn’t that any more.

Toddlerteaplease · 21/05/2026 14:59

Just say that as you will have to leave much later than planned. They can’t come.

Lomonald · 21/05/2026 14:59

Also what age are they ? I wouldn't pay her fare

minipie · 21/05/2026 14:59

This is ridiculous.

DS is a young adult and the internet exists to tell him what trains to get - if really necessary you can help him work out the route in advance. He will be with his girlfriend, not alone. Unless he has a learning disability he really ought to be able to work this out by himself.

You go at the time you planned, have your picnic, DS and girlfriend come and join you later.

Gowlett · 21/05/2026 14:59

Can they get a later train together? He won’t be alone, with her. That way you can give him his train fare, and not have to factor in hers?

PepsiBook · 21/05/2026 14:58

I'd be happy they wanted to join me.
Good opportunity to bond with his gf.
If the times done suit, tell them.
Would it really hurt you to pay for his gf as a one off? This may be your future daughter in law.

Lomonald · 21/05/2026 14:58

LadyDanburysHat · 21/05/2026 14:56

Don't agree to the later train. Say you wanted a full day out and if they can't do that, then you can go with them another time.

Say this, you had planned the whole day they either come or they don't.

TeenToTwenties · 21/05/2026 14:58

LadyDanburysHat · 21/05/2026 14:56

Don't agree to the later train. Say you wanted a full day out and if they can't do that, then you can go with them another time.

This, surely!

LadyDanburysHat · 21/05/2026 14:56

Don't agree to the later train. Say you wanted a full day out and if they can't do that, then you can go with them another time.