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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

338 replies

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 14:55

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

OP posts:
Daisymail · 21/05/2026 15:16

LivingDeadGirlUK · 21/05/2026 15:14

I wouldn't be going anywhere with someone who told me I'm creating stress by inviting them out with me.

and this!

NotEnglish · 21/05/2026 15:15

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

Well, if DS wants to travel with you, he'll have to take the earlier train, as that's the one you are taking.
His girlfriend can decide to also take the early train with the two of you, or the later train alone, and meet you there.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 21/05/2026 15:14

I wouldn't be going anywhere with someone who told me I'm creating stress by inviting them out with me.

MrsLFii · 21/05/2026 15:14

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

With that attitude (creating stress indeed!!) they’d not be welcome to come at all, how rude. You need to stand your ground rather than silently fuming

Daisymail · 21/05/2026 15:14

Sartre · 21/05/2026 15:10

You need a course on assertiveness. No you will not be getting the later train, if they want to join you they have to come in the morning.

This!

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2026 15:13

It’s not up to them to tell you that you are creating stress for no reason. They are hijacking and ruining your day out.

Man up and tell them you’re getting the early train, ffs!

Stoneycold12 · 21/05/2026 15:13

I'd get the earlier train and tell them they can join you on it or meet you later for lunch - I'd pay for the lunch, but not for the train tickets.

That way you get your full day out but you also get to spend some time with them, and you're being generous and providing the lunch - if the weather is good you can gets bread, cheese and salads at your destination and have a cheap and cheerful picnic.

Your son should be able to manage changing trains, he can always ask station staff if he can't work out connections on his phone.

DappledThings · 21/05/2026 15:13

This is daft. Just say the plan was to get the train at X time and you will be keeping to that. They are welcome to join you later but you are in no way required to fit round them.

Yes you are right to be pissed OFF. You could also get pissed on the train if you want to.

Confuserr · 21/05/2026 15:12

Flamingojune · 21/05/2026 15:01

They come later, you can follow their journey and guide them over the phone

They're adults

GCAcademic · 21/05/2026 15:11

Nope. You’re looking at paying three times the original cost for a quarter of the planned day out.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 21/05/2026 15:11

You need to go at your original planned time and they can meet you there. If two young adults can't figure out how to take a train somewhere I would be seriously concerned about their life skills.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2026 15:11

I’ve voted you are being unreasonable as I think you should either tell them, no, you won’t be booking a later train, and that you’d rather go alone!

LlynTegid · 21/05/2026 15:11

Sartre · 21/05/2026 15:10

You need a course on assertiveness. No you will not be getting the later train, if they want to join you they have to come in the morning.

Agreed, you wanted a day out not a half day.

Sartre · 21/05/2026 15:10

You need a course on assertiveness. No you will not be getting the later train, if they want to join you they have to come in the morning.

darksideofthetoon · 21/05/2026 15:10

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 14:55

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

What age is DS? Assume very young if unable to get on a train alone.

Original poster
HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

OP posts:
CanaryLibra · 21/05/2026 15:10

I wouldn’t automatically assume they will want to travel later

They’ve asked her to book a later train, it’s right there in the OP.

Rachelshair · 21/05/2026 15:10

Say it needs to be an early start or not worth you going. It sounds like a long journey. You'll need 3 x as much picnic too! Have they got railcards? Would it be a good experience for your son to do the journey independently, it's not that hard to catch a train or two. They could join you later on.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2026 15:09

CanaryLibra · 21/05/2026 15:01

I would tell them “I’m getting the 8am train, you’re welcome to join me and if not I’m happy to have the day to myself and we’ll go again together another time”.

Wrt paying for the train for your DS girlfriend, if you’d invited her I’d say yes it would be nice of you to pay, but given she’s firstly invited herself, and secondly she has a job, then she can pay for her own train.

This! I wouldn’t be pissed off or suck it up, which are your two options!

When your DD asked if he could come and again when his girlfriend asked, I would have said, ‘I’m leaving at 8am (or whatever), are you happy to go then, if not I’ll be going alone as planned?!’

If he’s old enough to have a girlfriend and she’s old enough to have a job, they are old enough to come when you want them to, or to go on their own! Surely he can navigate a train timetable?!

What sort of day out is it? If it’s one where they will expext you to pay for their entrance/lunch/dinner/snacks and treat you like a third wheel on their date day, I’d be going alone!

Iloveacurry · 21/05/2026 15:09

Tell them you wanted the whole day there and go in the train at a time that suits you.

harriethoyle · 21/05/2026 15:08

LadyDanburysHat · 21/05/2026 14:56

Don't agree to the later train. Say you wanted a full day out and if they can't do that, then you can go with them another time.

Yep. Don’t understand why you’re martyring yourself and then feeling resentful. They fit in with your plans or they don’t come.

WallaceinAnderland · 21/05/2026 15:06

You get the early train, they get the late train and you meet up with them when they arrive.

MachineBee · 21/05/2026 15:06

I wouldn’t automatically assume they will want to travel later. Just let them know what your planned timings are. If they then say they would prefer to travel later, then you say you’ll meet them there. Your DS is now at an age where you need to let him do most of his own thinking.

Itsseweasy · 21/05/2026 15:04

What have I just read?!
No that doesn’t suit you. If the girlfriend wants to join you then she knows the time she needs to get up by!
If she doesn’t want to make the effort to get the earlier train then she doesn’t come.
Are you always this passive OP?

BMW58 · 21/05/2026 15:01

Tell them your are getting the early train and if she/they want to get the later train and join you that's fine.

DON'T change your plans and DON'T pay anyone else's expenses - including your son's.