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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

338 replies

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 14:55

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

OP posts:
Millytante · 21/05/2026 16:08

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

If this is the reaction, are these two intent on your company for the pleasure of it, of to get a quick jaunt (no more than a lift, in terms of being with you), at your expense?
Outrageously rude and entitled attitude and I think you should put your foot down right away.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2026 16:06

Who accused you of causing stress? Your son or the girlfriend?

Remindmeofthebabee · 21/05/2026 16:06

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time

And did you not reply to this and tell them they were causing stress? The plan is you’re getting x train at x time. They’re welcome to join you but you won’t be changing plans.

Original poster
HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 16:05

Popdropper · 21/05/2026 16:00

Being accused of 'creating stress' when it's your plans that have been messed up is so familiar to me OP, I have an ND young adult too Smile I would definitely go tomorrow in your shoes and yes, lesson learned on keeping your (wonderful sounding btw) plans to yourself in future! Have a lovely time Flowers

Thank you!

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 21/05/2026 16:04

You go when you want to go. Meet them there. Sorted.

NerrSnerr · 21/05/2026 16:04

Surely the adult girlfriend can support with whatever medical issues means he can’t go alone?

I would tell them what train you’re going on and they can join on that train, get a later train or do it on a different day. Don’t change your plans for them.

Original poster
HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 16:03

Feis123 · 21/05/2026 15:50

DS not confident alone on trains but confident enough to have a girl-friend? Seriously?

To be fair plenty of people with SEN have girlfriends. He didn't go out and chat her up at a bar and start a relationship. They met at the supported work experience placement he attends.

OP posts:
Monty36 · 21/05/2026 16:01

She either gets up on time and comes with you or she doesn’t. She doesn’t change the trip.
If she cannot get up in time and your son cannot go without you then explain you are happy to organise another time with both of them, but you are going on the time you said.

Popdropper · 21/05/2026 16:00

Being accused of 'creating stress' when it's your plans that have been messed up is so familiar to me OP, I have an ND young adult too Smile I would definitely go tomorrow in your shoes and yes, lesson learned on keeping your (wonderful sounding btw) plans to yourself in future! Have a lovely time Flowers

ParmaVioletTea · 21/05/2026 15:59

LadyDanburysHat · 21/05/2026 14:56

Don't agree to the later train. Say you wanted a full day out and if they can't do that, then you can go with them another time.

This.

Or they could meet you there later. If your DS is old enough to have a girlfriend, he’s old enough to manage trains.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2026 15:58

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:48

For those asking me what I am going to do. I am off tomorrow. I am half debating getting up and just going tomorrow without either of them as ds won't be with me tomorrow and just telling them I changed plans.

Good.

As long as you don’t go again for 2 hours with them at the weekend 😂

BMW58 · 21/05/2026 15:54

FFS OP don't change your plans to accommodate them!

A Good Parent sets boundaries and doesn't let children bully the parent into giving them their own way!

Go early as originally planned and teach your son - and his GF - that you are an independent person with a will of your own, not at their beck and call.

Stop being such a pushover. It's not doing him any favours.

NewGirlInTown · 21/05/2026 15:53

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

OP stop being so passive! Are you always like this in your life?
Just because they have attempted to counter your position, it doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
Speak up! I think the girlfriend has an absolute cheek dictating the timings of your day around her desire to sleep in on Saturday morning.
You need to point out how rude it is for her to take over your plans.
Just stick to your original schedule, go on your own and have a great time. Don’t be such a doormat.

Happyjoe · 21/05/2026 15:52

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

Sometimes your son can't get everything his own way? Good parenting teaching this!

tiramisugelato · 21/05/2026 15:52

Your son is bullying you. Tell them both you're leaving at X time and that's that.

AltitudeCheck · 21/05/2026 15:52

Lovely if you to offer to include them (and pay for their tickets if you can afford to) but she either needs to get up & come with you (at the original time) or come later and meet you there or miss out this time. Your son can then decide if he wants to come with you, arrive with her or stay home. No way would I miss a nice day out in exchange for a few hours of watching a pair of teens swooning over each other!

WallaceinAnderland · 21/05/2026 15:52

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:48

For those asking me what I am going to do. I am off tomorrow. I am half debating getting up and just going tomorrow without either of them as ds won't be with me tomorrow and just telling them I changed plans.

Yes do this. Just get up and go, have a lovely day and if he comments, tell him you can do it again with him another time.

TFImBackIn · 21/05/2026 15:52

You're the one creating stress when they are trying to get you to change all your plans and spend three times more money?

And yes, if you would have paid for your son (if he's as entitled as he sounds) then they will expect you to pay for her, too.

Come on, OP, show some gumption!

Crazyfrog44 · 21/05/2026 15:51

I think in the future you say that's fine but I'm leaving at X time. Their choice if they come or not.i don't think you should wait until tomorrow to say you e changed your mind though.

Feis123 · 21/05/2026 15:50

DS not confident alone on trains but confident enough to have a girl-friend? Seriously?

Original poster
HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:50

2Rebecca · 21/05/2026 15:48

If you do decide to have their sort of day out next time just do what you want and don’t invite anyone

This is definitely what will be happening. Unless I specifically want to take them then I am keeping quiet!

OP posts:
Original poster
HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:48

For those asking me what I am going to do. I am off tomorrow. I am half debating getting up and just going tomorrow without either of them as ds won't be with me tomorrow and just telling them I changed plans.

OP posts:
m1ghtl1ke · 21/05/2026 15:48

Honestly tell them if they want it o come they are welcome but you are leaving at 9am (or whatever). No stress if they don’t want to come

2Rebecca · 21/05/2026 15:48

If you do decide to have their sort of day out next time just do what you want and don’t invite anyone

NewGirlInTown · 21/05/2026 15:48

Don’t let them dictate the timings of the day. Stick to your original plan. Tell them they may join you on that basis.