To not agree to this Holiday ?

In my part of the Uk, my 15 year old (year 10) has work experience that week in July - so check that!

He’s taking the older two so they can babysit while he and his new dp get shitfaced.

This isn’t true, both parents get fined. My DH gets a fine every year because his ex keeps taking the kids on holiday during term time, 2 different schools and 2 sets of fines every time and he tried to appeal it but they don’t care.

Thats really not true. Both parents get fined but the parent who didnt take them can appeal and MAY get the fine revoked, but there is no guarantee.

5 days off school during GCSE time is the absolute worst time. He only wants to take away two of the kids, not all of them which is bloody awful and yes she absolutely WILL get fined and as she cant pay, will end up prosecuted if she loses the appeal.

So all in all......thats bollocks.

If you are divorced only one parent pays, the one that takes them away. I assume he knows that there are fines and happy to pay, right?

Yes of course you are unreasonable. If he wants go away and the kids are happy to do so, that’s ok. The life is not over with 5 days off school. I guess you know that! Also, the worst it will happen is that he will get a fine. You won’t get prosecuted!

The Portuguese authorities have never asked me for a letter from anyone, including my ex husband to give me permission to take my son there. We have been 3 times. It’s not strict at all.

Never been asked to do this anywhere in Europe. I got told this was needed for Brazil, so ex-H kindly obliged, got letter attested by a solicitor but they never asked for the letter when we arrived in Rio 😂

I’m a solicitor and also have a useless ex ( although thankfully my kid is now adult so don’t need to deal with him ) . Although some of that advise is in practise true , it will still give me more decision powers for traveling with asking as an example . At least your ex doesn’t seem as much as an idiot as the OP one on this thread . Who take s 2 kids on holiday and leaves the others

Just had a quick google and it is still the case that every parent with PR is fined and then if one can prove that they objected and tried to prevent it, then the fine can be overturned. That is what my friend had to do.

So potentially, he will take them away and OP will have to pay £160 for the privilege!

Morally yes but lets face it, he isnt going to is he? He wants to take the conveniently babysitting aged teens on holiday with his other younger kids, leaving the younger ones behind. Is vile to OP when she objects and sees the kids for ten hours a month with no overnights.

This is not a man who will say "Oh I will pay your fine, its only fair as I took them away" is it?

The only way the OP can be sure she isnt on the hook too is to put her foot down hard.

Isnt that LEA dependent? I know someone who, in the last 2 years, got hit with a fine because her ex insisted on his "right" to take the kids to family (in the UK). She fought it and didnt have to pay but it was a right rigmarole.

I hope that it has changed that its only the parent who decided to take them that is fined.

Yep, that was the first thing that crossed my mind too.

Not read the whole thread so don’t know if this has been said, but he can’t take them out of the country without your written permission. So put simply he can either take them according to your wishes or they don’t go at all.

I think it will be easier for OP to keep hold of the passports rather than hiding the kids.....

Taking them to babysit his second brood while he parties with the new wife?

With respect, I think you're being naive. He hasn't had regular day to day contact and could be clueless about SAFETY. Deffo not safe for them to go ABROAD at this time. It's a NO from me. Keep your reasons low key, and hide the kids , if necessary, at a different address ,; to prevent kidnapping. Some parents like to wait until their kids get big and interesting before kidnapping attempts.

This has been mentioned a few times. Is this really a thing?

How are people so shameless?

Are you able to take them on holiday this year? If not I would let them go. I think a term time holiday is fine - I would not pay the fine.

What a knob. There is no way in hell I'd agree to this nonsense. You can't pick your favourite children to see!
Do not give him the passports.
Email the school and inform them that your ex wants to take the children out of school on such a date and that you do not consent to this.
Tell the kids that year 9 and 10 are important school years - they cannot miss lessons. It is important that brothers and sisters are treated fairly and equally. You are family. Selecting just certain members of your family is not nice and you will not allow this to happen.

Then keep contact civil but bare minimum.

I have a similar rubbish dad but only sees when it suits so thinks can phone up after not ringing for a couple of weeks and expects to be able to see the kids when he wants that weekend. I wanted a contact order so me and the kids knew when contact was. The advise from nspcc and my solicitors was that a child arrangement order would suit him as it would compel me to make the children available at a set time but If he choose not to turn up nothing could be done. So I followed this advise and it's great coz now when he phones I just say yes or no depending on if we have plans what kids want. They also said a live with order isn't enforceable unless has power of arrest so I could get one but basically if he refused to return them I'd still have to go to court. He's never ever once started the process for contact... Threatens it on the regular....but he'd have to pay lol 🤣

Yes I know.

he should pay both fines

Yeah, on a need to know basis, nobody needs to know they arrived today

id be ringing up the passport office to find out where these passports have got to…?

I’d be worried about this too. Depends how sensible the kids are.

As others have said, I’d also be worried they’ll get left babysitting of an evening, which could be risky in a strange place with half siblings they’ve never stayed with.

What school year are your kids OP? If either is Year 10, they may be missing important content.

It’s v unfair for him to invite them in term time at that age, as I’m guessing they may not have had any/many holidays abroad if you have five and are lone parent. And v unreasonable for him to put you in the position of having to say no. But hopefully you have a good enough relationship with them for them to understand. Suggest you explain it’s also not fair to the younger ones.