AIBU to worry about leaving my breastfed toddler overnight?

Totally different to keep a bedtime bottle a bit longer for a young toddler who is very attached to it as part of their routine. That’s totally understandable! But there’s zero need to go against guidelines and risk their dental health to introduce one in a toddler that has never had a bottle before so has zero association of comfort with it. I’m pleased your DD has lovely perfect teeth but the natural sugars in the milk and the way the bottle causes it to wash over the teeth can damage teeth especially if it’s multiple night feeds as a replacement for a breastfeeding routine.

I think the point is not to introduce a bottle at this age. Different if already taking a bottle before 12 months.

I think if he knows he can get you of course he’ll hold out. If you do want to night wean you just have to persist for several nights. Although also he’s old enough that he’ll be fine for a night and can pick up again on your return, although probably not much sleep will be had when you’re away.

The guidance on her makes me laugh

I bet none of those being so critical of bottles after 12 months actually ditched them by 12 months!

Bottles during the day should be ditched by then but 1 bottle a night after turning 1 isn’t a guarantee to harm teeth! Mine had a bedtime bottle until 2 but cups in the day and she’s got perfect teeth and perfect speech

It’s so daunting leaving your bf child for the first time at night so I absolutely get it.
The alternative could be you pay for grandparents & dc to stay at the accommodation with you at the wedding. Appreciate finances might not allow for that but I did this for a v close friend’s wedding and it worked well.

We have tried getting DH to soothe on wake ups but unfortunately the fabled ‘cries but the length of it reduces every time,’ simply doesn’t happen for us. Either DS won’t be soothed by him, or, if he is, he will wake up again after 5/7/8 minutes, crying again. It’s strange as DH does the bedtime settling but after that he only wants me.

2 months 🙈for my bday. I built a breastmilk bank and was back at 6am but couldn’t feed her myself for the next 24 hours. I fed her my milk from a bottle.

I first left mine at 20 months (also for a wedding). My mum came to our house which definitely worked well as he was in his familiar surroundings and she just did our usual routine with him. We’ve done the some routine religiously since 7 months, so I think same house, same routine made it a smoother transition! I was still nervous even though he was fully weaned and slept through 😂. I’d definitely trial it a couple of times if you can - even if it’s just them doing bedtime while you pop out for a dinner!
At the end of the day, she will sleep eventually and it’s just two nights that your parents will get through - it’s just hard to know if it will be easy or upsetting!

Well, yeah, night weaning does involve a level of crying. My DS screamed his head off for about 20 - 30 minutes when his dad went in, it seemed like the end of the world. The second wake up, he screamed for 10 minutes. The second night, he woke once and screamed for 5 minutes. Then never again. He was being comforted by a loving parent, he was just angry. I'm still breastfeeding age 2, so it's not like I'm against long term breastfeeding. But let's not kid ourselves that they NEED it 6-8 times a night. That's habit. And not going to an event because of it after 2 years of breastfeeding is just a bit bonkers really. Your choice but it's perfectly possible.

I would definitely do a trial run where you are close enough to get back but still out. I've found DC do different things with different people (DD will be fed to sleep by me, be rocked to sleep by DH, put herself to sleep at nursery and go to sleep lying in bed next to my Mum)

Tell that to my little one haha. Currently waking 6-8 times overnight to feed. Screams otherwise!

At 23 months, night weaning is absolutely possible! Vast majority of toddlers are not getting a boob or a bottle overnight at age 2!

I looked after my friend's toddler for a weekend recently. Still BF at night.

He woke up once, on the first night - patted him a bit and he went back to sleep. Clearly I didn't smell milky enough!

Ignore any suggestion regarding bottles. Over 1s shouldn’t have them and they’re ruinous for teeth if given overnight in a way breastfeeding just isn’t. Your best bet is to do a dry run this week- get Grandma to do an overnight or if that’s not feasible do bedtime whilst you go out for dinner and then once you’re back DH does any night wakes (so no boob). And then based on that make an assessment of how feasible 2 nights away for the wedding is.

I couldn’t have done this. TBH, I’m likely not going to be able to go on a trip away when little one is 23 months, because night weaning seems impossible.

Defo better if they are staying at your house, my mum had to bring my daughter home once when she tried to sleep over at theirs, but was fine the couple of times they stayed at ours. Would defo do a trial run beforehand, even if it’s just them doing bedtime etc whilst your out of the house to see how it goes

I left my breastfed son overnight for a first time at a similar age, he also wouldn't take a cup/bottle, although it was only one night. He was okay and actually slept through for the first time. I think he made the connection that i wasn't there so there would be no milk even if he cried at grandparents.

All I would say is be prepared for when you return as he was a velcro toddler for a day or two after and decided he wanted to make up for all the missed feeds 😅 (he was always a bit of a velcro baby/toddler though!) You don't mention but in case your worrying (as I was) it doesn't have to mean the end of breastfeeding either if you don't want it to be, me and DS picked up same of before.

If they are prepared to comfort her in the night all will be fine. She's already used to getting comfort from them in the day. She doesn't need to breastfeed with them they'll find their own way. Wish I'd had your set up. Have an amazing time (breastfed two toddlers here)

Can you introduce a bottle at nighttime as an alternative to breast as you’ll probably be doing it way less soon anyway? Just try and introduce it from now on, if she doesn’t take it just put it down and no big deal. However at least it won’t be the first time she is seeing it is granny offers her a bottle?

I wouldn’t bother doing a trial run. Will just confuse her.

It will honestly be fine. You’ll be way more anxious than your little one.

Where did I suggest a 14m old should take a bottle?

Don't introduce a bottle now, but keep trying with various cups or straw bottle.
You don't need to night wean beforehand, toddlers are very adaptable and with no BF available, they will settle in another way. I would do some practice runs with them doing bedtime and an overnight, for both toddler and GP benefit, but also so you can be reassured. I am still BF at bedtime (19 month) but she settles fine with my husband if I'm away. Haven't done an overnight with GP yet but planning to soon, more as mine has only just slept through so didn't want to subject GP to multiple night wakes!

You need to get this sorted before the wedding, when is it? Let her stay at your dms a night a week so she's used to a different routine.

A 14 month old won't take a bottle now if she hasn't before....and it's against guidelines anyway, we're supposed to ditch all bottles at 12 months as it's bad for teeth, so not a habit you would want to start now anyway

A friend of mine recently left a similarly aged breastfed toddler for a couple of nights. Normally he will not settle at all without her breastfeeding, but he was totally fine. He was with her husband, so a bit different to grandparents maybe, but still, he settled fine without milk.
She had hoped it might break the cycle a bit, but as soon as she was back it was straight back to normal.