AIBU to expect better contact while partner is away at a conference?

It sounds like he's been in touch every day, which would be what I'd expect. As others have said, if you explicitly wanted more contact you should have agreed this beforehand. Conferences can be quite full on and hard to carve out time.

One video a day for the 5 year old - video so it can be watched anytime and on repeat
snd a text or csll a day for adult that should surfice

You have heard from him every day, mostly multiple times apart from yesterday. YABU.

What do you mean he contacted you normally, what does that look like when he’s not away. He’s been in touch at some point every day, which for me would be fine. If I’m away for work or at a conference that’s where my focus is because they’re usually pretty full days with a lot of information to take on board. I’d be in some kind of contact every day but that might be by text message or a quick call. Doesn’t mean I care less, but my focus needs to be where I am.

10 min phone call daily? When factoring in other people's schedules, and a baby's schedule, and possibly a time difference?? Unreasonable.

Couple of messages, minimium 1 a day. Totally reasonable.

Being away with work is hard work. Being home alone with kids that age is hard work. I've done both. Be nice to each other.

But you've heard from him everyday? Just not after 1pm from yesterday and he's home today? Seems plenty to me.

What sort of contact do you want? What can he practically do ? You sound either needy or suspicious.

I prefer to have minimal contact. I'm happily married but I like having a week where it's just me. Makes me miss him all the more and appreciate him when he's home. Plus then there's more to catch up on when he's home.
Assuming from the age of your kids that you're younger. My first relationships were on ones with no phones so then it was normal.
But everyone is different and and what is good for me may be not for you. 🙂

Why do you feel the need for such regular contact?

If you have an idea of what communication you want, you should be explicit about it, and likewise he should be explicit about what he is capable of giving you and what his intentions are for calls etc.

This is all solved by agreements being made BEFORE the fact.
He’s home today. Don’t give him a hard time - just say next time you’d like a better plan in place.
Mis-matched expectations are the bane of every relationship, so they should be talked about to avoid this sort of anxiety, disappointment and resentment.

If you heard from him Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning, plus he's back today I can't see the issue? He's contacted you daily when away and would be seeing you once home later.

Only you know what's acceptable for you. I just checked my phone and it was around Christmas I last messaged my partner and he's been away for work and I've been away too. What's normal for you?

If I’d already been in contact with DH and young children earlier in the day, I wouldn’t see it as a necessity. You sound as if you resent him being away and have expectations for a high level of contact as though in compensation. Have you communicated exactly what you expect and why?

If I’m away, I’m away. If I’m at a conference, or especially if I’m in an archive, I’m generally AWOL. I barely remember I have a DH and a child.

I don’t personally see anything wrong with the level of contact you’re receiving. However, that’s me. If you have very specific ideas of how much contact you should receive, you should make it crystal clear or you’ll continue to be on different pages. And by that I mean specifically how much and when, not just vague notions of “being better”, which means one thing to one person and something different to another.

Are your messages being read?
DH managed to lose his phone on a trip recently.