AIBU to expect better contact while partner is away at a conference?

That would feel sad for me. In a loving family and marriage I’d at least want a check in before bed every night, and a ‘good morning’ especially as OP is home breastfeeding their baby. It just seems the nice loving thing to do. Each to their own i suppose

Massively unreasonable, OP. Why does he need to contact you every day? He's working, he's busy and telling you about the conference would probably be very boring for both of you.
You're at home, doing your normal thing, you're fine - why wouldn't you be? Do you really want your partner to view you as the poor, pathetic Little Woman who can't cope at home without a man?..... Thought not!
In the unlikely event that either of you had an emergency, I'm sure the information would be passed on.
Just let him get on with his conference, and please don't be "that wife".

Nope. If I’m away from work, or indeed just at work on something very consuming, I’m not up for contact at all, unless there’s an emergency.

I don’t think it’s needy at all. Regular contact every day with wife and child is very normal and what I thought happened in all families

You seem needy. I'd want more contact for your 5 year old perhaps, not you.

When one of us is away we barely communicate. Maybe a couple of lines a day. That's normal. I'd find needing to meet your level of communications too much.

I've got to admit I would find this expectation of contact extremely annoying.

It wasn't a work trip as such but I had to go and look after an elderly relative for a week to give another relative (who the elderly relative lived with) a break.

While I was there, I caught up with some old friends. So, yes, it was a combination of 'work' with a couple of hours fun a day.

So OK not exactly comparable but roughly the same sort of thing.

My ex was blowing up my phone morning and night.
'Why haven't you called today? Oh I'd expect to hear from you etc?'
It pissed me off.
Part of the reason he's the ex.

You're an adult. Your son can go without seeing and hearing from his father for a few days, surely?
You need to find some other sort of support. Really you do.

It sounds as though you feel there should be contact more than once a day. Many partners here would I guess have no need of that. If that is what you need you must tell him exactly so he can at least try and get it right.

I communicate with my partner all day, every day. Understand it’s not the norm and sometimes it’s pointless chat but we just do it.

I don’t know if you’re familiar yourself with attending a work conference but they are exhausting and normally jam packed. I find my social battery is zero by the end of the day. You’re usually up early, breakfast with colleagues. All day events, activities with colleagues dependent on the organisation people you’ve never met before. Then it’s tea after a full day. Some companies I’ve worked with do activities with drinking. I literally check out of my life when I’m on them. Not intentionally but because they are draining and very demanding.

I don’t think it’ll be purposefully and the situation will just feel worse for you as your on maternity leave

Hello! This dynamic sounds v similar to husband and I. It sounds more like mismatched expectations that anyone being particularly unreasonable. Your days will be soooooo long as they are with a baby so no message for 24 hrs or whatever seems like an age, where as he’ll have the opposite, going from work thing to going out etc and the time slips away without realising how quick its going and not getting around to messaging. I wouldn’t give him a particularly hard time, instead focus firstly on the fact it’s better this time. Then make sure you communicate with him either when he’s out there or when he’s back and just explain what you’d like communication wise, eg text in morn and night minimum, then he can work on it. In the mean time give yourself and him a lot of goodwill, 4 months in is in the thick of it all! Hope he enjoys the break and you feel positive soon, it’s a good chance to work on communication and expectations which are so important. Good luck x

With a baby and young children I would expect an early evening call to check in. You’re not being unreasonable.

I'm the one who travels in our household, I drop the occasional text in the morning or before bed as I'm generally too busy during the day to think about it. I'll Facetime if I get opportunity but it's not a given.

I was going to say it does sound like you’re envious that he is having 3 nights to himself whilst you’ve got a 5 year old and little baby at home. I think that your feelings are valid and a lot of woman who ebf feel like this sometimes. To be honest, even when I switched to formula when my baby was 2 months I’d get envious about DH being able to have 45 mins peace in the car on the way to and from work! Haha.

My biggest tip is please ensure you also have a break yourself, DH will be fine with both kids for a couple of hours whilst you do something for yourself once a week. I know it’s hard to do much longer when baby is so little but once they are on solids you can do extra time!

I don’t personally see a huge issue in the level of contact xx

I find it really hard to find a time to call my teens when I’m on a work trip (they’d be with their dad but my youngest tends to want to speak). Texting is much easier as people can come to it when they’re ready.

With a partner, yes I’d think that daily contact would be nice, but not lengthy strings of messages or phone calls, and I wouldn’t think more than once a day was needed, unless for a particular reason.

I didn’t msg or talk to my DH for 5 days when he was at a work event, it was bliss! We had loads to catch up on we did our women thing, I knew where he was. Everyone is so different you need to let him know what you’d like. We had agreed to not chat before he went I was needing some headspace after a tricky time and he was busy!

When one of us goes away we always send a text in the morning and usually one before bed, then it would depend on how busy the day is as to whether you get more than that. If I didn't get a good morning or goodnight text though I'd be miffed.

Calls I can take or leave, especially if there's a time difference, but we do sometimes do videos for the kids.

He's been away for less than three days and is due home today, so I'm unsure what you need him to be "communicating" with you about?
He spoke to you on Monday and Tuesday so I don't think the fact you didn't speak to him yesterday is really of any concern. As you mentioned, you could contact him, but I wouldn't unless it was a matter of urgency/importance.
He is away with work, so whilst he may not be "swamped or back to back meetings, or schmoozing clients" he is still working. Don't give him the added pressure of feeling like he needs to keep you happy by contacting you constantly.

From the perspective of the mum who has been on several work trips abroad with 3 young DC under the age of 7:
Work trips are exhausting and, while I try my best, I don’t manage to contact home often at all. We don’t do video calls because it upsets the kids. DH might get a ‘arrived safely’ message and the occasional ‘good night, I love you’ message but that’s it.
Once I get home, DH gets the next free day to himself and I take the kids all day.

Do you speak to him many times a day when he's working ordinarily? While he's away on a work trip, I would expect less communication than you'd normally get in a standard work day.

My DH is away a lot with work. His first trip was when eldest was 2 and baby was 4 weeks. It's normal for us. DH tries to call at bedtime or tea time if it is convenient for him around his work commitments on his trip, and if he can't or there's a time difference he sends us a video message. Keeps the children happy. We also have recorded him reading stories to play on their yoto players too. Would any of this work for you? Our children 5 and 3 now. We hear from him or we don't.

When either of us is away on work/stag/hen do's/ski trip etc. we generally have a rule of sending a message in the morning and a message to say goodnight when you get to bed.
That way when the one at home wakes up they can see you got back safely and thought of them when you got home :)
Husband had dreadful contact when we first met, and only understood it can be a bit frustrating when I went away on a girls trip and didn't message once! Now we are in agreement on a couple of morning/night message and maybe a call once or twice on a trip. Every couple has different expecations though so you need to just tell him next time you'd like a call here and there if it's important to you. Don't make it a big deal though.

So do you think your son really cares that much or are you projecting? If you told him daddy was at work, taking care of the family and will be back soon, I dont think it would be a thing that weighed on his mind at all. I love when I'm away on business and when DH is away. If we don't go away together, we get a break from each other and routine. Makes it nice to have things to talk about when we get home.