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Original poster

Hate having plans for things I enjoy

155 replies

Manchegomango · 21/05/2026 07:17

I really hate having set plans even if they are things im looking forward to.
I have a couple of parties and trips away this summer (no big holiday) and even though I am excited about them all I just hate the feeling that I already know my time is accounted for.
Same with weekends - if I have somewhere i need to be on Saturday, even if its something great, I feel like my weekend has been used up.
Anyone relate??

OP posts:
Avocadoo · 21/05/2026 07:44

I’m the same, I have family who always try to pin us down for visits to them or them coming to us.
I hate being pinned down, I’m sure I’d enjoy it when the time comes but I usually end up making excuses.

It’s not that I’m holding out for better offers but we’re such last minute people we like the freedom of saying ‘weather looks good, let’s go to X’.

We haven’t even booked our summer holiday yet!

Original poster
Manchegomango · 21/05/2026 07:43

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/05/2026 07:39

Instinctively I am exactly the same, I am a happy go lucky person although I have learned through hard experience that most people like plans and people like us are in a minority. People in general get really upset about not having plans.

I find it really stressful when people over-plan stuff and insist on having to have everything locked down months in advance.

For example the kinds of people who will hassle you in May about how you are getting to an event in September and chase you to decide when you have more urgent things to worry about. I don’t mean things like weddings where there’s a need to know numbers. But when its just people having to control everything. I find it really draining and stress inducing.

But as I say not wanting to go along with this seems to really rub people up the wrong way so I toe the line now.

Urgggh God I absolutely hear you re the May/September thing. Or even on a smaller scale... Say you are doing something with someone in 2 weeks time. And you get a message that invariably starts: "Just looking at timings for Sunday...."
They want to know whether they should book somewhere for lunch.
Like, why? Why cant we just play it by ear? See what time we end up being hungry on Saturday? Just drop into the nearest pub? Or heaven forbid, end up eating later in the day?
It just sucks the enjoyment iut of it

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 21/05/2026 07:41

I am 100% the same. I hate it. In fact I’m as likely to back out of a plan as I am to follow through. Even if it’s something I’ll enjoy or I set up. I wonder if there’s a name for it. I’m glad I’m not alone.

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/05/2026 07:39

Instinctively I am exactly the same, I am a happy go lucky person although I have learned through hard experience that most people like plans and people like us are in a minority. People in general get really upset about not having plans.

I find it really stressful when people over-plan stuff and insist on having to have everything locked down months in advance.

For example the kinds of people who will hassle you in May about how you are getting to an event in September and chase you to decide when you have more urgent things to worry about. I don’t mean things like weddings where there’s a need to know numbers. But when its just people having to control everything. I find it really draining and stress inducing.

But as I say not wanting to go along with this seems to really rub people up the wrong way so I toe the line now.

Original poster
Manchegomango · 21/05/2026 07:18

A friend wants us to pick a Sunday when we can go spend the day swimming and having a picnic at the lake as a group and it will be really fun but I just wish we could randomly wake up on a Sunday morning and think "today!" Instead

OP posts:
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