To just want to look forward to our holiday together?

This doesn't sound like a healthy attitude tbh. You don't get to "accept" wether someone is miserable or not

What a horrible attitude based on a few lines.

O.p enjoy the enjoyment you get from the build up, don't try and force anything and I guarantee it will be a better holiday than if you "boot him up the arse...."

I love the excitement of finding a holiday and booking it. Then months of nothing until the hatred of getting ready and packing for it sets in. Then pure bliss when I’m on that plane and love every second I’m away.

I’m pretty sure if your DH was excited when you were booking it, he’ll be excited again once on the plane. Just maybe nothing until then but that’s okay.

We had the most amazing holiday in California. Leave him to be miserable. I think I’d say, well, it’s a shame you’re not looking forward to it, but I hope you’re not going to be miserable and spoil what is an exciting and expensive holiday for the rest of us. If you want to duck out of some of the activities and sightseeing you’re welcome to do so.

it can be a really busy holiday - depending on where you’re going etc. But we had a really good mix of city, country, coast, beach, which gave us a good variety of exploring, hiking, sightseeing, wine tasting, hanging out by the pool/beach, theme parks. Something for everyone, and we built in some chill time. I’d love to go back.

What’s your itinerary?

I can’t imagine there’s no beach time on a California trip, so focus on that part for him

DH & I are different holiday personalities so I get this; usually fine once we are there!

I would have no time for this at all.

It’s fine to not revel at the idea of a holiday of this type. If you’re a grown up you discuss this at the planning stages.

What’s not fine is being such a wet drip you never instigate the planning of a holiday, and leave it all to the default parent, and then piss on their chips just before it happens. That is really a dick move.

Also, as to getting him enthused - oh god no. That is definitely not your job. Ask yourself when he last felt responsible for your feelings and making sure you were having a good time.

You don't have to feel responsible for his enjoyment and happiness. Hes responsible for that. Took me years of holidays when I was always checking in on my husband to see if he was having a good time. Honestly why? He was a grown man and we always agreed where to go together. They just like to moan I think!

Aw, I hope it’s some sort of anxiety and he grows to enjoy it when you’re actually there! I bet you’ll have a fabulous time.

If push comes to shove he can always stay at the hotel pool while you and your child enjoy yourselves somewhere for the day. It will still be a sunny holiday.

Stop trying to control how he feels. You keep saying that you want him to feel a certain way etc. The more you do this the more you’ll put him off. Can’t you just accept you get excited by different things? It’s not as if he’s said he’s dreading it and doesn’t want to go.

Again I think that's a different personality thing. 8 weeks is ages away for me. Is he actively bringing up the holiday and moaning about it? Or just not bringing it up? If it's the first I'd be annoyed, the second I'd leave him alone.

I wouldn't worry, I'm exactly like this. I've got a holiday booked for July that I'm absolutely dreading. I found it, planned it, convinced everyone else it would be great, booked all the various aspects of it with great excitement after lots of research. Now I feel sick thinking about it. I even have a note in my phone reminding myself I do this before every holiday, but especially things a bit different that are outside my comfort zone, it's just how some of us are. I'm sure he'll be fine once you get there. I'm always fine once I've checked in.

I feel this is quite a subjective thing and you'll get people saying it's not the holiday for them (which I agree with, wouldn't go to America at the moment.) But it's just a different holiday to what you are used to, and it's not the end of the world if he doesn't enjoy it as much as other holidays. And he might find he really does enjoy it. For context, we just had a big holiday that I wasn't keen on going on and was frankly dreading - I hate flying, it was a long flight, and I wasn't sure about the destination and the accommodation. But it turned out to be the best holiday ever.

A long way off?! It's in six weeks.

I can be like your DH. We went to Japan last year, and a colleague (who has never travelled) was perplexed I wasn't jumping up & down with excitement and 'she'd be excited for me'.

I told her I was in prep mode, and still worried about a few things, or something happening to cancel it (almost did happen, happened this year instead, DH's unhealthy DF both times) but it'd be different once I got on the plane. Then I relax & have a fabulous time!

Lots of folk don’t get excited about a holiday until they are actually at the airport … so maybe that’s just how he is .

Has he had input into the itinerary? Is there an option for him to opt out of some activities? My ex and I had very different ideas of holidays. He was a beach and chill person where as I find that boring, I like a plan, he doesnt, I wake early,he likes a lie in. We had to compromise and be willing to spend time apart, sometimes he would opt out of sightseeing to chill by the pool and thats ok. Could that be the issue? That he thinks the itinerary is too packed and he would like some 'do nothing' days? Is there flex for not all doing everything?

I’d try and ignore. Don’t let it spoil your excitement.
We’ve done West Coast road trip, California road trip and an Oregon/Washington road trip, all amazing! I get less excited by them because i know it’s not the relaxing sit by a pool kinda trip, but once I’m there i have a fantastic time.